I have this little problem... I can't seem to commit to a career choice. A while back I wrote about how my heart lies in the theater, and that's true, but it's becoming less and less of a viable choice for me.
More than ten years past graduating from high school and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I wish for immortality sometimes, so I could just pick one for now and try the others later if I want, but that isn't an option. Even if it was, I wouldn't want immortality alone.
Okay, so here's the list of some of the things I enjoy:
Theater
Writing
Business
Art
Music
Power Tools
Computers
You'll notice I don't mention my husband on the list. That's because he's one of the few things I've MADE a commitment to in my life. I married him, and that's a lifetime commitment, as well as a commitment for as long after as the universe will allow. He is my better half, my anchor, my miracle. He is my shining point of light in the sullen grayness of our universe. There's no question in my mind about that one.
But what to do about the rest of my life?
Let's go over the list in reverse....
Computers:
A hobby. Something I enjoy messing around with. I put my computer together from the plastic box on up, and enjoyed looking over motherboards and such online to choose the right one, but I don't have the desire to stay perfectly current on all the bits and gizmos that go inside a machine to make it a career. Programs come and go for me. I'll get interested in web design one month and then two months later it will be desktop themes. I'm not consistent enough in that regard to focus.
Power Tools:
Another hobby. I like to make stuff from time to time. The real problem with this one is that my geometry was incredibly bad in school and I doubt all my corners would line up to make stuff actually viable for sale. It's fine for me to build stuff as a home project and then fix it when it doesn't quite line up, but no company in their right mind would hire me to put something marketable together. I guess that also rules me out in the set-building aspect of the theater world too.
Music:
Can't read music. Plain and simple. Or, at least, I can't seem to transpose music onto an instrument. I took a piano class in college and my teacher was amazed that I could type so effortlessly but I couldn't seem to use that skill to turn sheet music into beautiful chords with the keys of the piano. The only reason I didn't fail the first class was that I memorized the piece and never looked at the music once during the final. The second class was one I dropped out of as it wasn't mandatory and I didn't want the failing grade to affect my GPA. I don't know if I can sing worth a damn - I sure belt it out when I'm alone in the car, but that doesn't mean I'm hitting the right notes, and nobody has really heard me sing to tell me if I am or not. I resign myself to my CD player and the enjoyment of the artistic creations of others for this category.
Art:
Love to paint. Problem is, I'm pretty sure I suck at it. It makes for a great hobby, and I can paint furniture okay I think, but I will most likely fall into that "starving artist" category pretty darn quick. Other art projects are also fun - sculpture, jewelry, etc. - but again, like with the computers, I'm inconsistent about what I'm currently interested in playing with. Makes for another nice hobby, but not a career.
Writing:
This is one of my consistencies. I do always come back to my writing eventually. I have stuff I wrote ages ago that I'm still keeping to come back to. Poetry and stories mostly. I have a children's book that I just need to finish revising and then send off to a publisher. I think I've just never had the confidence to pursue this as a career. I've always gotten good grades on what I've written in the past, as well as positive feedback from my peers when I've written stuff in classes. I guess I have always felt as if I needed some negative feedback so I'd know where I needed to improve, as I'm never sure that something is perfect enough to actually send out somewhere. I did have a poem published, although it's the kind of thing where you have to pay for a copy of the anthology it's included in.... Perhaps a college setting could help me in this one. It's a definite possibility.
Business:
I'd love to own my own business, but I don't think I'd want to study up on how to do it as I tend to disagree with how others are doing it everywhere I go. I'm a more creative person and I feel like this could be a more rigid environment than I'd like in the learning sense. I might pursue owning a business at some point, but I don't think I want to spend two to four years studying up on it first.
Theater:
Ahh... my poor aching heart. I often come back to the theater, but I don't remotely have the confidence in myself in a physical appearance aspect to compete with the billion other actresses out there trying to get jobs. There are other jobs within the theater career choices though. I've already ruled set construction out, but stage manager or something along those lines could be fun. The problem is - how many jobs are there out there for stage managers? I don't want to travel, as I'm about to settle down and start a family and all, and I loathe going into the city - which is where all the work will likely be. As much fun as this would be, I'm starting to realize that it's not a serious career choice for me.
Which brings me back to writing. With the option of someday owning and running a business - possibly my own theater - one day way off in the future after I've become a successful writer? Well it's a dream...
I just hope all my prior college credits transfer... I'd hate to have a geometry class ruin a potential writing career.