DragonBlog

And now,

Would you rather:
1. go skydiving OR bungee jumping?
Skydiving. I don't like the idea of being yanked back up - our bodies aren't as well-built to handle that kind of stress, in my opinion.
2. eat pickled goat liver OR broiled chicken feet?
I have a feeling the goat liver would stand a better chance of going (and staying) down, so I'll take that one.
3. own 50 cats OR 5 elephants?
50 cats sounds way funner, assuming I had the money for that much continual cat food purchasing power. And I really don't want to clean up 5 elephants worth of poop! ECHHH!
4. hit and kill an old man with your car OR be the cause of a fire that burns down the homes of five families, but nobody dies?
I'll take the fire. I'm a pacifist at heart, no matter how many violent computer games I might play. I could never actually take another person's life unless it was the only way to defend myself or my family. (if my loved one's lives are in peril, however, all bets are off on what I'm capable of!)

On the Job...

Okay, so the job has begun. Yesterday was filler, as they weren't ready for the project I was brought in to help on to begin just yet, but today we dove in head-first. The company I'm temping at has an extensive web site that they are moving over into a new management system that can allow people to edit their own portions of the web site without having to deal with all the extra stuff in the site layout, like sidebar and banner. It's kind of like they are moving everything into a microsoft version of corporate Moveable Type, only a whole lot more complicated...lol

It's not software I've seen before, but then I'm familiar enough with the way Microsoft does their stuff that I think I'm acclimating reasonably quickly. The job description suggested that the temp person should know "some html", but I'm very glad I know more than just "some". I know I'm no expert, and there's plenty of web stuff that's still way over my head, but the knowledge I do have is helping me hugely at this job.

It's also way cool to not be doing the usual basic "type this, file that, fax, copy, answer the phone" stuff that I ordinarily get jobs for. This job is actually making use of real, honest-to-god, brain cells! Mine, even! Wow.

Kinda cool, though I have been getting some headaches - I think that might mostly be the glare from the windows on my screen in the afternoon though, not to mention the traffic getting back home.

*shrug*

So the job is fun, though I am pining for my little boy. Yesterday wasn't so hard, but there was one point during lunch today when I was sitting alone, working on outlining my book (which is still stuck at chapter 12, by the way), and I thought I was going to cry. I just wanted to hug my little boy and hear his voice right then and couldn't have it. I fear it may get worse as the week goes on. We'll have to see.

That's all for now though... gotta get sleep.

G'night!

Anti-bloggage...

*yawn*

huh?

Ya. I'll, like, blog tomorrow or something, okay?

Work was good. In case you were wondering...

G'night!

The fly and the flashy camera thing...

Okay, so some amusement tonight at the family dinner thing, which we did outside on our patio tonight as it is absolutely gorgeous weather for once, and the mosquitos seemed to be leaving us alone.

First off, was the one fly that decided we looked like fun tonight, and flew patterns around and around our table and persons. My son, however, was not amused. Or, rather, he wasn't quite sure how he really felt. He laughed sometimes, when I was shooing it away, but whenever it landed too close he was wary and agitated...

Then it landed on his hand, and he panicked.

My little kid did this half crying, half laughing panicked thing because a little black fly landed on his hand. I couldn't shoo the thing away fast enough for him.

On the other hand, honestly, it was one of the funniest things to watch, as this little fly kept flying over and he'd scope it out and get all wigged out when it got too close. Oy.

And then there was my father-in-law, who was taking cute pictures of Jareth again and my little guy learned something.

Just before the flash goes off, there's a little light that flashes.

And so, Jareth started blinking and squinting his eyes every time my father-in-law went to take a picture - to protect himself from the big *FLASH*!!

It was adorable. We were in stitches watching him blink away!

I am going to miss him so much tomorrow.

*deep breath*

I have to go to bed early tonight. For tomorrow I work.

A dirge please.

G'night!

Hello out there?

Where have all my readers gone?

Apparently the key to getting one's blog read involves actually commenting on other people's blogs, instead of just reading them for enjoyment when I get a few minutes of quiet...

*sigh*

I've noticed some blogs I read are changing directions and I'm not reading them as often anymore. I'm also finding newer ones that I may or may not add to the blogroll.

Mostly, I seem to spend half the time I have online deleting the stupid fucking ads (sorry, pardon the language) that keep getting put into my comments on older blog posts. I'm getting pretty pissed at the "link whores". I have to rebuild my site at least once per day now, as well as add 2-5 new IP addresses to the "banned" list. Not that it seems to help me to ban them, as none of them have static IPs, and I'm seeing the same links and link text over and over again. Pretty soon I'm going to write down the site addresses and find out who the IP provider is so that I can make a complaint. I've got almost 50 IPs on my list, and it will likely hit that tomorrow or Monday. Sometimes they take Sunday off - maybe they're religious. Well "do onto others" for crying out loud!

It's been 17 days since I had a legit comment, but I delete several every day now. I used to get excited when I saw the comment number go up, but now I just get frustrated as I know I might have to waste another 10-15 minutes deleting and banning and rebuilding again.

This is supposed to be MY space. Not their ad space!

Damnit!

I could almost cry.

I'm too busy to cry though. Far, far too busy.

*sigh*

G'night.

"Househusband" Training...

Well, if it's called "housewife", then he should be the "househusband" for the next four weeks... right?

I know, I know... it's homemaker now.

Some days I think I could find a few options on where you can shove all these ridiculous Politically Correct terms people come up with these days. But then, I'm likely just "emotionally challenged" being female and all...

Basically, I'm spending some time until I start work on Monday, trying to fill Brian in on some of the little things I keep track of throughout the day. Today was errands, which ended up getting a late start as we had to deal with dropping my car off for muffler repairs and then an appointment with our new insurance agent to start getting some stuff squared away. Then, it had to be put off more as Jareth hadn't had a nap. And he needed one. He still was pretty unhappy to hit two stores today to get groceries and other necessities, but he would have been thrice as grumpy if he hadn't gotten an hour of nap in before we headed out. We also picked up Taco Bell Hell for dinner before shopping for food. Never do the major shopping for a couple weeks worth of dinner stock on an empty stomach. Trust me. Coupon caddy in hand, we attacked the stores (and they, in turn attacked our pocketbooks instead). I've got stuff for my lunches now, and we've got breakfasts and dinners for a while again. All is well in the kitchen.

We also switched the car that my son's car seat resides within today. We needed it swapped while the shop had mine anyway, so it made the official move to Brian's car for the next four weeks. We also finally swapped it around to facing forward, which Jareth seems pleased with. On my way to and from the shop with my car though, it felt strange not seeing him or a car seat or even toys hanging in the back of my car. Nothing made kid's rattle sounds when my car hit potholes...

*sniffle*

This all feels so strange.

We did errands with my husband's car, since the car seat was in it and all, and I'm also unused to being a passenger in someone else's car. It used to happen all the time, but lately I've been doing most of the driving as I've had the car seat. I made a point of moving all the other stuff I have for car/kid emergency situations into his car as well, and tried to fill him in on the reasons I keep the stuff. I've built in little routines and efficiencies to help me get through errands and other specific tasks where I've also got Jareth to contend with. He is usually a little angel, but now and again he will get irritable and seem unconsolable. I have backup plans for such occasions, and they cease to work if you whip them out at the very first whimper. While running errands, at least, I am armed with a veritable arsenol of toys, snacks, diapers and sippy cup fun. When all else fails, there's always my keys, which clip conveniently onto things so he can't drop them on the floor in the middle of the grocery store when I'm busy putting jars of baby food into the cart.

That would be bad. Mommy doesn't like bad, so mommy tries to have preset contingency plans for things to avoid as much bad as possible.

I've also handed over one section off my "list" to him so that he can really feel what it's like to be me for the next few weeks. I've got plenty of tasks on a long, long, long list that need to be done - around the house and otherwise. I've given him "The Yard" to do. While he's also still got job hunting, book revisions, and coffee shop planning to work around both housework and my son's schedule... Well, let's just say I'm curious to see how much of "The Yard" get's done, and what had to be set aside on the days he does have the time to get out and work on it. My own task list has much more on it than that one section, and I keep track of a whole bunch of other little things that I know just won't be able to be done for a while. I already put in the order for vitamins yesterday from www.drugstore.com, so that should hopefully be covered until the beginning of October at least. I've also got his birthday gift taken care of as well. I'm trying to tidy up as much stuff as I would normally save to deal with during the day as possible, so I can still take care of things for my regular boss during the evenings.

*Phew* I feel tired just blogging about what I've been up to... and we didn't even get started on the laundry today as I'd hoped. That will have to wait for tomorrow. At least Brian's always been sweet about helping me with the laundry and dishes now and again, as he knows how much I generally loathe doing the laundry. (I don't loathe the dishes unless they creep up on me and pile up while the dishwasher's full of clean ones) So I know he can handle a load of laundry or two on his own, as well as run the dishwasher and put dishes away. I still have to finish training him on loading the dishwasher though - we seem to have a difference of opinion on the best way to maximize the balance between cramming a slew of dishes into it and getting them to come out actually clean. He's already a wonderful help when it comes to hand-washing the bottles though - he's often been my hero on that one.

Okay, so I know "bottle washing hero" isn't quite in the same category as "demon slaying hero", but we homemakers take what we can get, okay? Besides, he's got other "heroic qualities" too. But I rarely mention on this blog those types of things that I wouldn't be discussing with my in-laws. What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom... even if it doesn't always stay in the bedroom, if you know what I mean...

*cough*

Yeah, so... anyway...

Where was I?

Pfft.

Anyway, I'm trying to give him all the little hints and tidbits he needs to not go into shell shock during the first week. Orientation, so to speak. Hopefully it will help.

It's really hard to sum up everything I do and why. Especially like the little things - like trying to make sure I tell Jareth the name of anything I see him pointing to. He knows what I'm doing - I can see it in his eyes, and sometimes he even tries to mimic what I'm saying when I do it. He's learning, and I'm trying to make it fun and exciting in every way I can. I want to encourage him. I want to be an integral part of his growth and development. Or, rather, for the next four weeks - I want Brian to keep the ball rolling. Thankfully, I know he wants to as well.

Oy. I've gotta stop worrying. Can you tell I'm fretting over here? Yup. Thought so.

That's all for now. Stopping now.

G'night!

Art Class...

This has been one of the busiest weeks I've had in a while, I think. And next week is only going to get busier. I guess over this next month we'll be seeing if I still have it in me to do the work/home/etc thing or if I've become far too attached to working in my PJs.

I suspect there will be more coffee.

Much more coffee.

Tonight I had class. It felt weird, going off to somewhere all by myself. I felt somewhat awkward, and a little bit guilty. I know I have no reason to feel guilty about leaving my son and husband to play together for one evening without me, but I still felt those pangs, as if I was being selfish or something.

But it was still fun. So nyah. Ya hear that guilt? Nyah!

Mostly work on shapes and shadows and a little beginnings on perception. And I've got a few more supplies I need, which gives me a great excuse to go to the art store! Yay!

Anyway, it's been a long day. I also got all three certifications today for Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. I passed with flying colors, and they told me I should be proud of myself. The only trouble is, those three programs just come easily for me, and for some reason I have a hard time patting myself on the back for anything that comes easily. If I haven't worked hard to get it, it must not be well done? I scored more than enough to qualify, and I never did find time to bone up on them before I tested today. I had planned to, but then I was also competing with the 100% my husband managed to get on his PowerPoint certification test. In the overall scoring, he managed to beat me on all three, actually. Which is fair, since he was the "working spouse" for so long and used those programs daily and all. But I was still competing. Heh. I may not have beat him, but I do feel I held my own. I've got my certificates anyway.

On a final note, before I close on blogging for tonight, warm wishes/vibes/etc are being transmitted on a karmic level to "Griffin" (who commented here a while back, and is a friend of mine from long, long ago) who had a biopsy done on his knee today. I'm hoping it turns out that it will be a cinch to fix whatever nastiness has been causing problems for him. *virtual hugs*

More chit-chat another time though, my brain is fried today.

G'night!

Harboring both Dread and Desire...

Well, it's official. As I got my fourth agency on the line with me today, looking for work for me to do, it's the one I didn't have to go visit at any time over the past two weeks that found me a job. Starting Monday, I'll be heading off to an office from 8:30 am to 5:00 pm for a supposed length of four weeks.

This from the agency that I merely had to e-mail a new version of my resume to after placing a call to say "hey, reactivate me will ya?"

Okay, so I said it a little less casually than that. Duh. But the point is that they didn't make me jump through any of the usual hoops. I love the irony.

Not sure what all the job is yet, but it's a temp assignment and will help us tremendously as we've been feeling the stress of heading towards the edge of "severence safety". We've still got a couple weeks left, but then "unemployment" kicks in, and things get a tad frightening once that stage hits. We're hoping it won't go that far and that Brian will come up with something permanent before that point, but at least this temp job will help the upcoming horror of paying the entire premium on our health insurance. In advance. I hate thinking about things like insurance. It makes my head hurt. Lately it makes my eyes a little moist too. But then again, there's a few things that do that to me lately.

So, just as I gave up "nighttime bottle" time with my son, I'm snatching it back. Starting Monday I won't get any more "breakfast bottle and post-bottle snuggle" with him for almost all of four whole weeks probably (assuming the assigmnent lasts as long as they told the agency - it doesn't always work out that way in the end), and I won't get any "laptime lunches" either. Since I've hardly gotten any breakfast bottles this week either - we agreed I could start having it back now. So I'll still have one time a day that I get guaranteed snuggle time with my kid. Because it's pure heartache on the thought of not spending my days with him for four straight weeks. I've become very attached to being "mommy".

On the flip side of the coin, I'm curious about the job and will admit to a bit of excitement. I've gotten away with doing most of my work in lounging clothes (okay, yeah, they're really pajamas *grin*), so it will be a change getting makeup on and all that other fuss every morning. The reason I got the temp job instead of my husband is because they wanted someone who had some html understanding. Ironic again, as that was one of the skills I underplayed on my resume. All my html knowledge is self-learned. Stuff I wanted to know to make my own web pages. The professional useage of it has been limited, so I didn't feel qualified to list it with any real focus on my resume.

It's supposedly more data entry though, not web design or anything. Not sure. I'll know more on Monday I guess.

Point of note - starting on Monday my Quick Shtick Writing posts, and possibly my To Our Children's Children posts as well, will be done in the evening while I'm working. I'm not a morning person, so I'm unlikely to get both of them, if any, done in the mornings. Just thought I'd warn folks.

Anyway, that's all the news today. I thought I'd post early as I'm going to play computer games with my handsome husband for the rest of the evening before turning in early tonight.

G'night!

Strange Days...

It was strange, the other night, when I got all dizzy. We're thinking it had something to do with something I ate...

*shrug*

Or it could have been stress, or the fact that I'm not eating as much usually right now while I attempt to diet...

*shrugs some more*

But I woke up feeling okay again, so...

*shrug*

Yeah.

Anyway, I did some testing yesterday, and finally have a confirmed count on my typing speed again, which is handy. I'm more pleased at the 100% accuracy than the 77 words per minute, although the 77 is not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I also managed to get above the 90% mark on all three Microsoft Office programs I tested on, so I'm going in on Thursday to get myself certificates in them that say I know my shit. *grin* Thursday night I'll have my first drawing class! (Yeah, I know, I keep mentioning that. Do you think I'm looking forward to it at all? Naaaah...)

Tomorrow, however, I've got yet another agency to go interview with. At least this one sent me the application over e-mail, so I've already got that nasty paperwork filled out. Mostly that means that they actually get readable copy, instead of my attempts at legible scribbles that I seem to be doing at most places. I so loathe filling out applications. Almost as much as those ridiculous forms they give you at the doctor's, asking you tons of questions you probably don't remember the answers to half of... Bah.

Last, but not least by any means, my insurance agent passed away!?!

What? Wait... NO!

" Kevin Milnamow
Kevin Milnamow, 47, of Elgin passed away Saturday, July 31, 2004 in Provena St. Joseph Hospital from cancer. He was born September 25, 1956 in Chicago and was the son of John and Patricia Milnamow. He had been a resident of Elgin most of his life. He was a self employed insurance agent for Farmers Insurance Co. in Elgin and was a former coach with the Continental Little League in Elgin. He was a member of St. Laurence Catholic Church, the Elgin Riverside Club and the Ern Club.
Surviving are his wife, Patricia; a daughter, Maggie Milnamow of Elgin; three sons, Brian Milnamow of Chicago, and Sean and Kyle Milnamow of Elgin; three sisters, Annmarie (Mitch) Steffen of Bloomington, IL, Jeanne Milnamow of LaGrange Park, IL and Nancy (Jim) Van Dyke of Elgin; four brothers, Paul (Penny) Milnamow of Elgin, Mark (Wanda) Milnaow of Ft. Atkinson, Wisconsin, Bill (Ellen0 Milnamow of Wheaton and Tim Milnamow of Elgin; his father- and mother-in-law, George and Lorraine McGann of Elgin; five sisters-in-law, Kathy (Mike) Doherty of Elgin, Mary (Steve) Matison of Sycamore, IL, Jean LeRoy, Lorrie Tucker and Barb (Mike) McGrath all of Elgin; a brother-in-law, George McGann of San Antonio, Texas; and several nieces, nephews and cousins.
He was preceded in death by his grandparents.
Funeral Mass will be held Tuesday at 11 AM in St. Laurence Catholic Church. Burial will be private. Visitation will be in the Laird Funeral Home, 310 S. State St., Elgin on Monday from 4 to 9 PM and then on Tuesday in Church from 10:30 AM until the time of the Mass. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be given to the family for their education." -- from The Courier News Online's obituary section --

Now, normally I don't name people so specifically on this weblog, but I feel the need to pay some sort of tribute. In an era that has left me feeling like there are nothing but sales people out to secure the next dollar bill from my pocket whether I can afford to spare it or not, this guy somehow managed to not only get his foot in the door of my house, but then win my trust. My husband's as well.

Well, he did bring us pie...

That's what got him in the door, initially. He wanted to give us quotes and he offered to bring pie to get in the door. I was intrigued. Still skeptical at that point, as I am by anyone who calls to try and sell me stuff, even if we were already getting our house insurance through the agency he worked for, I said yes anyway. We'd gotten the recommendation for that office from our real estate agent. I'd been there once to set it up and that was that. I'd never even met this particular guy before.

"Alright," I said. "You can come and quote us I guess."

Next thing I know, we're asking the guy to quote us on other stuff, like car insurance. For one, he didn't try to sell us stuff we didn't need. And he took the time to come to our house, instead of us having to go to the office. He treated us like people, instead of just "customers". We'd get off track and talk about the occasional thing other than insurance, and he never seemed like he was just waiting to "finish up" and leave like so many people do these days. He also seemed to advise, rather than judge. I liked that.

And he just had the right personality. He felt like the kind of guy you could trust.

It's not like I knew him well enough that I'm specifically mourning him... but I'm kind of in denial. Some other guy is going to come here on Friday and meet with us about the stuff we wanted to talk to Kevin about.

*sniff*

But I don't want another insurance guy...

*sigh*

My thoughts go out to his family. 47 is young. He should have had more time. He was one of the good guys, in my opinion. But I'm sure they know that too.

But, in the end, it's all good. He has moved on to his next journey, as we continue ours here.

*sniffle*

G'night.

And now,

Would you rather:
1. lose your keys OR your wallet?
Keys. It's far easier to call a locksmith than it is to deal with replacing all the crap in your wallet.
2. run your fingers down a chalkboard 15 times in a row OR lick ten feet of sidewalk?
Chalkboard. It doesn't annoy me as much as everyone else, so I'd probably have some small part of me enjoying it instead. Mwahaha.
3. referee a WWE wrestling cage match OR get in a fist fight with your mother-in-law?
Referee. Just because I wouldn't get in a fist fight with my mother-in-law. I like my mother-in-law. Rare, I know, but true.
4. be the inspiration for the movie "deliverance" OR the movie "gigli"?
Okay, so you've got me there. I haven't seen either movie so I can't honestly answer that one. No clue. Sorry.

No Blog

No blog tonight.

Not feeling well again.

Stomach ache. Dizziness. Nausea. etc.

Not fair.

G'night.

The man behind the magicks...

Over on Quick Shtick Writing, Brian and I have this wizard named Agmar as one of the main characters in the current story. I got the impression that when he made the initial first paragraph of the story he was thinking of someone else (whom I have this visual image of, and I think it's the same person he thought of, but is not the right casting as far as I'm concerned). After some discussion, however, I told him I thought it was this guy instead:

Brian agreed immediately, and this has been the "face" of Agmar ever since.

His name is Peter Woodward, and we have seen him in a couple of things now where we've noted him specifically.

I got the impression I couldn't swipe the head shot pic off his site, so I stole this pic from over at this one instead.

For more info on the actor in particular, his web page is at www.peterwoodward.com, where you'll promptly see the image I wanted to drop onto this post, but was too lazy to go through contacting some webmaster to get permission. Besides, I've given credit to everyone anyway.

Nyah, nyah. Don't make me whine.

Anyway...

So, when you think of Agmar, stick that image in your head. That's the guy. And yeah, I imagine he'd talk with that to-swoon-for British accent too. Although, anyone who's read the story thus far might note a little annoying tidbit we tossed in a while back - Agmar never uses contractions. It's an editing nightmare sometimes, and I have to re-read every post I write where he speaks just to remove all the ones that slip in. You'd be amazed at how many times you use contractions without thinking...

Just a little tidbit for the day that's been running about in my head for a bit, waiting to be dropped off here.

More tomorrow...

G'night!

Forgotten...

I had something to blog about.

Something inspiring, moving, insightful, intelligent...

Maybe, anyway.

Nonetheless, I had somthing to blog about.

And I forgot what it was.

I even knew what I was going to title the darn thing.

But I've forgotten.

*sigh*

So nevermind.

I'm going to go do other things instead.

G'night!

Olympics 2004...

Alright, so far I've been following the gymnastics and I'm pretty much caught up with the stuff I'm planning to watch, leaving only the individual events coming on Sunday and Monday, and the Gala thing on Tuesday. We've caught a little of some of the other stuff, but I've always been most fascinated by the gymnastics during the summer and the figure skating in the winter.

The best article I've read so far on an athlete competing in gymnastics, however, is here:

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/summer04/gymnastics/columns/story?id=1863304

If you watch gymnastics at all, go read it. Trust me, your eyes might just tear up.

I was looking for an article on Svetlana Khorkina, to find out her reaction on how the olympics have gone so far for her. I hate to put it this way, but I kind of felt Svetlana deserved to get it more than Carly Patterson did. I'm not saying that Carly didn't work her ass off to get it, but Svetlana seemed as if she had a lot more going against her in the first place. My heart tends to lean towards such people. But she did walk away with the silver, which proved she's still got it. I stand amazed. Honestly, I stand amazed at all the atheletes competing in the olympics, no matter what their nationality. Every single one of them had to prove themselves to get there in the first place.

Okay. That's all for tonight now.

No, really.

G'night!

The Armed Republic of The Zen Rayn Dragon, and other corporate affairs...

Okay, so I normally don't do the whole "politics" thing, but a friend of ours showed us this:

Too much potential fun to ignore, I dare say. Thus, I now have a "nation" amongst them (drumroll please):

The Armed Republic of The Zen Rayn Dragon

So far I've made voting mandatory. I plan to smack those nasty corporations around. Apparently there's more points to those who encourage nudity too, but I haven't decided on which way I plan to go on that particular issue.

On another note, someone sent me blog fodder in the mail yesterday. How kind of them. Seeing as how I was sick, I didn't open it until today, when I was privileged enough to read the following:

"There's a frightening takeover happening in America right now: a takeover of our schools, our government, our children, our communitites, and our culture.

No doubt you've already noticed the escalating intrusion of advertising and marketing into every nook and cranny of our lives.

At its most extreme, corporations are actually using Magnetic Resonance imaging (MRI) technology to scan people's brains in order to probe their reactions to advertising."

Now, in all fairness I'm only quoting the first three paragraphs after "dear friend" on this two-page, double-sided, legal-sized "letter" which also came with an addressed envelope (no stamp) and a "membership reply" form which I could fill out to send back with my *cough* money. Oh well, so much for fairness. I think you can guess my opinion of this load of crap already. By the way, all things in bold were actually bolded on the letter...

Now, see this stuff is intended for Consumer Type A. I am not a member of that group. I will admit to having tendencies towards Consumer Type B - the type that is easily convinced by some of those ads on TV that tell you that you too can have great abs in 30 days if you only spend the money right this minute. Fortunately, my pocketbook has mostly prevented me from actually succumbing to those commercials and I simply refuse to watch the shopping networks after my mom got some shoddy cheap silver bracelets and necklaces a while back.

But our friends, in Type A, will believe what they read in that letter I've been sent. And this is where some of the "household conspiracy theories" start. The "old wives tales" of today, in some ways. And Type A person will get to the end of that third, teeny little paragraph and put their hand over their mouth in shock thinking that the government and corporations are now watching us by shooting MRI "waves" out of our TVs or some such nonsense as that. Don't believe me? Good. That means you're not a Type A. They are out there. Even on the internet. I've seen them blogging in a couple of spots. It's not pretty.

There are also the combo-type personalities out there too. People who seem so incredibly smart one moment, as they divulge intelligent information that you feel privileged to be witness to. Then, out of the blue, they suddenly decide that the entire government or X Corp. are out to get us all. Our money? Perhaps. But the MRI studies that are referred to in this letter are likely done by the same organizations trying to stop the pervasive advertising all around us by proving its effects.

I don't like the advertising any more than they do, necessarily. I think it should be a law, for example, that all commercial ads have to entertain me. But, unfortunately that would prove impossible unless the law stated that it was me personally that they had to entertain. Because whether or not someone else would find it entertaining is subjective. You can't please all of the people - all of the time. Who said that first anyway? *shrug*

This letter talks about you becoming a "member". You're not a member of anything mind you, you just give them money and get bragging rights that you've donated to another "worthy" cause.

Sorry guys, but I'm looking at a "membership" to a decorative art organization as well, and it has actual activities to participate in. That's what "membership" is supposed to be. And don't call it a "subscription" unless you plan to at least mail out a newsletter. I've noticed some organizations use that tactic to try and strip me of my hard-earned cash. Some of these guys are no better than the corporations they are proposing they fight.

Not to mention - they're usually not lobbying, they're out starting lawsuits against these companies... which cause the companies to raise their prices. So now I'm supposed to pay for this TWICE?

Bullshit. (LOL - my spellchecker doesn't know the word bullshit. I shall have to educate it.)

So there. My rant for today. Big corporations suck - frequently, I must agree. I am also sick of being bombarded at every turn with advertising. I prefer to base a product on the quality of the product being purchased and the customer service that stands behind it. Not on how "pretty" their latest billboard or TV ad happens to be.

Now, if only more people would share my concern and act accordingly, we maybe could make a difference.

Then again, if my pocketbook were a little bigger then maybe I could stop giving Wal-Mart all my damned cash.

*eyes the word "hypocrite" glowing above her with a big red arrow pointing at her head*

Damn.

And so, the job hunt shall continue...

G'night!

Technical, and now physical difficulties...

Still having trouble posting, so I skipped posting to To Our Children's Children today, although I did get my Quick Shtick Writing post up.

I also had to skip out on going to my appointment today at another agency. I've rescheduled it for Monday, as I'm sick. I tried to call the doctor but they can't see me until Monday. The best they had to say was that sometimes you can call the pharmacist and they can tell you what over-the-counter drug will help. I'm already taking something like that. I wanted an appointment so they could give me something that will actually make me well. They also said I could try calling tomorrow morning and see if someone cancels.

I want a new general practitioner. Seriously. All my doctor is apparently good for is farming me out to other doctors for anything other than a cold, and going on two to four hour lunches. They can never see me when I'm actually sick, and half the time I call them for anything they are out to lunch!

Damnit! *and other such words of nastier intent*

So I feel like complete and utter crap. It looks like my husband is getting it too. All I want to do is sleep and drink more icky medicine stuff. Well, actually, I don't want to drink the icky medicine stuff at all, but it feels much much worse without it.

not fair, not fair, not FAIR!

*sniffle*

*HONK*

So much for that Kleenex.

G'night.

Technical Difficulties...

We are experiencing technical difficulties today, which may continue tomorrow. As our server was kind enough to warn us, they are doing some upgrading that will hopefully speed things up and make for less problems. If they succeed in this, we'll be keeping them for another year when it comes time to renew. If not, I have already been slightly annoyed on the occasional times when I've not been able to log into my own site.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*

In other news, yesterday's tensions were discussed shortly after I posted, and much was made clear, along with some things being somewhat worked out. It's a rough time right now, not knowing where money is going to come from soon.

I did my interview thingy at the placement agency today. I think it went well enough. I'm at least familiar with how agencies work, since I've done plenty of temp work in my time so far. Tomorrow is another agency, where I'll be doing some testing. Today's agency has an online testing thing that I can do from home, which is really cool, but the person I interviewed with hasn't sent me the e-mail yet.

So, I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to know what my typing speed is currently at. Mind you, I do a lot of typing on here where I don't have to look at one sheet and type elsewhere, but I also play quite a bit of boggle, and I still do some of that typing when my boss sends me stuff. I think I should still be where I used to be, if not better, at typing. I just wish I'd bothered to write down what it was. So, this time, I'll have to mark it down finally. Perhaps I'll put it up here as well. We'll see. Not everything I do needs to be recorded for posterity you know...

*grin*

Also, it was therapy night tonight. And I realized I missed something important that my husband wanted to do that I hadn't noticed, even after he'd mentioned it in passing on his own blog. I try to catch such clues, but I missed this one...

Starting tonight, he's giving our son his "bedtime bottle" instead of me. I hadn't realized it, but I was kind of hogging snuggle time with my little boy. This will start helping make there be more snuggle time for "daddy" too!

Sometimes I'm trying so hard to be a good mommy that I accidentally keep my little guy all to myself! It's not fair though - he looks at me with those adorable blue eyes, just like his daddy's eyes, and how can I not be sucked in under his little spell?

Bad mommy! No biscuit!

*retrieves willpower from behind the bed where she stuffed it during her first month as a mommy*

G'night!

P.S. - Yes, I know, I totally forgot to do yesterday. And I'm not feeling up to posting it right now. I may look at it later this week, or I may just skip it this time. Sorry tj.

Tense...

Right at this moment I'm feeling tense. As if the whole f-ing day has gone wrong. It hasn't, it just feels that way. I ask my husband to do things and he doesn't. Mostly he doesn't because I don't tell him straight out to just do it now instead of putting it off until tomorrow and risk it getting forgotten about when it's important to ME. And then I'm also stressed about tomorrow, when I go to the first agency appointment this week, where they may or may not have me do tests and fill out paperwork and quiz me on what I can and cannot do.

My nerves are shot and my stomach is a mess.

If you want real honesty - I don't want to go back to work. I don't want to miss my son's beaming smile when I go into his bedroom every morning and put all his stuffed toys back in their spots, making sure each one gives him "kisses" on their way there. I don't want to not be there to "gobble" his tummy when I'm changing his diaper, or not have him awake to offer to feed me some of his Cheerios out of his bowl at breakfast while he's feeding himself. Or our morning snuggle and play after breakfast with his bottle.

I could just cry at the very thought. In fact I'm very near tears just writing this.

I haven't said that straight out to Brian. I didn't want to admit it, and risk letting him down. I don't want to disappoint him. It's my turn to go back to work, and I know it. And, we're looking at opening a shop together. If *I* go back to the office then he will have more time to work up the business plan, since he's got more expertise in the type of business we're looking to open. So it makes sense. I should go, while he sees how plausible it all is.

I'm also scared that I'm no longer as capable in an office as I used to be. I've spent the last year working from home in my pjs for a boss across the country, and it's really only been part-time hours at best.

Shit.

Today is just not a good day.

I'll just stop now. I've been hoping for an hour to play a particular computer game to take my mind off stuff all day long, and now is finally "me time" and nobody can tell me that I'm wasting time I could be doing something more productive.

Then again, it's really only me that tells me that, and I'm already doing it in the back of my stupid, perfectionist head.

Damnit.

G'night.

Just Hush!

Okay, so don't anybody tell me what happens, as I'm one day behind in watching the women's gymnastics. Since we a) had Sunday dinner last night and b) weren't about to stay up until midnight watching it as Brian has this seminar today and tomorrow where he learns stuff from the job placement agency who's services are part of his severance package and so he had to be there from 9am to 4pm. So we taped it, thus giving us the advantage of fast forwarding through the other stuff that didn't excite us as much along with all the commercials. Mwahaha.

But, it also means I'm a day behind on knowing how we did. All I've seen is the qualifying stuff. Tomorrow night we'll get to see the stuff that is, in fact, about to finish taping right now, as I'm starting to type up this blog. If I had the time I'd watch most, if not all, of the olympics. I'm tremendously impressed with the people who can go the whole nine yards like that. I know my body isn't currently capable of athletics of that magnitude. And I'm not the type of person (this time around, anyway) who has the ambition to work myself so hard physically. But I have a lot of respect for those who can.

I'm also suddenly noticing that the olympics have changed dramatically since I watched them as a little girl. The minimum age for a girl to be in the gymnastics competition, for example, is now 16 (by the end of the olympic year)? When did this happen? I seem to recall a whole lot of 10 and 12-year-old girls being paraded out, if I'm remembering correctly. Perhaps I'm not. I always remembered it as - once you hit puberty, you were screwed as a female gymnast. Your whole sense of center changes when you sprout boobs and your hips widen. I also noticed that the USA girls used some sort of hand guards while on the uneven bars. I didn't know they could do stuff like that. And the vaulting horse looks entirely different. Hrm.

Is this the new, ergonomic olympic way nowadays? Are we putting in safeties? I thought this event was for the best of the best - the risk-takers - the ones who wanted it most... I'm not trying to belittle the accomplishments of the current athletes competing, but how can we compare their performance to the performances of those who've come before them when the sport is changing? The style of music for the floor routines are dramatically different from the classical music of the "classic" gymnasts.

Yes, yes... I know... I can find anything to whine about, can't I?

Pah - if not for me to rant, then what good is a personal blog like this anyway?

Oooooh... for updates on my son too... I see.

I received e-mailed pictures today from my father-in-law's digital camera - one of which is the "proof" that my son was working the "fork angle" last night:

Yep. That's my kid.

*beams with pride*

Although today he's all sick. We're pretty sure he's reacting to one of the vaccinations he had the last dosage of on Friday. He was so good and didn't cry, and what did he get for it? A fever of 102.9 F tonight, and a runny nose, that's what! Poor kid. We've dosed him up with baby drops-stuff, and tucked him into bed for now, after a quick call to the doctor to make sure we shouldn't be seriously worried. It's the first time he's had a fever this high. He's been such a healthy little boy...

*knocks on wood*

(oh - and to those who read my comment on another blog about superstitions working opposite for me, that doesn't count for preventative ones like the wood-knocking. It's only backwards on the ones that just happen, like mirrors breaking and Friday the 13th. Unfortunately, breaking a mirror on purpose does not bring me 7 years of good luck though. It still has to be accidental.)

So I'll be worrying over him all mother-hen-style tomorrow, I expect. Keeping track of his temperature and dosing him up to keep him from feeling so icky. He was fine for most of the day, but it suddenly crept up on him this evening, over the course of just a few hours I think. He was kind of suddenly snuggly and wanting to be hugged and held more often nearer the end of the evening, although I had initially attributed it to the fact that he didn't take a very long nap today and was likely sleepy. We'd already given him something for the stuffy nose he'd started having this afternoon, but the fever hadn't shown up yet. He was one warm little guy when we tucked him into bed a while ago.

*worry, worry, worry*

Not really, well, yeah. On one hand I'm not too worried, as the doctor seemed to think it was all good and he'd be fine, but on the other hand - I'm a MOMMY. Of course I'm worried, he's MY kid.

LOL! *I* need a nap.

Okay. Time for me to go "wind down" with a little computer game before I crawl into bed.

G'night!

Inconceivable!!!

In case you didn't figure it out from the title, the movie played at tonight's Sunday dinner movie night was The Princess Bride, which I consider to be one of my all-time favorites. At a recent shopping expedition, I was exchanging a movie that I'd gotten as a gift but I had received from someone else as well, and I saw this in the stacks. It wasn't the same price as the exchange, so I did another movie for that and allowed myself to add this one to our teeny little collection of movies as well. I can't wait for my son to be old enough to understand it, although he did watch some of it today while he played on the floor with his relative slew of toys.

Speaking of Jareth, he ate from a fork today. As in - mommy stabs the food with the kiddie fork, and then he stuffed the correct end of the fork (meaning the one with the food on it) into his mouth all on his own. It's a start. I've tried to show him this in the past, and we've been keeping the kiddie utensils out and using them to feed him with so he'll make that association, but he got it much quicker than I expected. It's as if he's going through a learning spurt right now, and I'm inclined to try and teach him as much as possible while he's interested. He's also starting to point out other people's body parts when they are named. At least it seems as if he knows where my elbow is and what toes and noses are. It's as if he's starting to really figure out that all the things around him have names and that mommy and daddy keep telling those names to him. His own vocabulary is starting to really resemble words more and more. I am still so fascinated by watching him grow and learn. It is all going by far too quickly. I keep meaning to catch him on videotape, but every time I think of it I don't want to miss what I'm watching long enough to go bother with the old bulky videocamera I have. Hopefully the tons of regular pictures and the video clips his grandpa has gotten on his digital camera will suffice. There were digital pictures by him tonight, but none off mine. I was the one stabbing the food with the fork at the time.

Anyway, that's most of today.

I've been meaning to write about both writing and art all week - partially in relation to other blogs I'd read, although my ability to read any this past week has been severely limited. I have also been in the process of cutting my bedtime back to be able to get up earlier in the morning, and thus my blogging and blog-reading has been diminished. Since the only real "me time" I get is after Brian and my son are in bed, I've not much time left for this blog and reading other blogs. Hopefully I'll be able to work my schedule a little better this coming week.

G'night!

Not-a-Blog...

My sister is over visiting and we're watching a movie. We've paused to put Jareth to bed, and Brian is putting him into his nighttime diaper right now, but then we'll be finishing up the movie. I don't know if I'll be up to blogging again later, so I thought I'd drop my line in now.

Not much to say today anyway, it was a reasonably quiet one. Tomorrow, on the other hand, ought to be buzzing as the Sunday dinner thing is here. We're watching a movie then, but one I've seen before, recently bought on dvd, and can quote many lines from...

Wondering what it is?

I've no time to set up the link tonight, so maybe I'll just leave you writhing in anticipation. Okay, maybe not writhing, but wondering anyway. I'll tell ya tomorrow. Nyah-Nyah!!

*wicked grin*

G'night!

Patterns and Routines...

Daily life with the husband at home is not as I expected it. Then again, I knew certain things would happen. For one, I feel watched. On display, I have to keep motivated, and therefore I'm taking less "me time" than usual. Which, as my therapist pointed out, stresses me out (since I'm not getting a break from being "mommy" and housewife "homemaker") and then I tend to "nag" more. Thus, by the time we reach 5 pm, when the "work day" ends, I'm sometimes feeling like nothing more but a busy, stressed-out nag. Ugh.

Okay - in the pointed view of things I am and am not - that is so not in my vision of who "me" is.

And yet, it continues.

You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to that first two-hour class on the 26th. I've already bought my drawing pencil (well two, actually, since it came in a two-pack) and my erasers and ruler to go with my eagerly waiting sketchbook. I also treated myself to a $6 box of 50 colored Crayola pencils. Yes, I know, not the nice pencils one might buy where I went for the kneaded and vinyl erasers and ebony pencils, but they'll do for the price I paid. I can't be spending $80 on a pencil set right now. Not to mention it's not required for the class, I just wanted them damnit! I'm going to rummage through my old supplies for all the rest of the items I want to add to my "drawing kit", since I have some older degrading stuff that I've collected over the years from one parent, one step-parent, and because of previous art classes. I'll just be leaving my crayons and markers in the box is all, and pulling out only the drawing stuff.

In the meantime, however, I am worn out. I know I'm not actually under a "mommy-evaluation-microscope", but it's very strange to have my husband around all day long to see what I do. Not to mention I'm trying to hand off a few of the duties with my son so that I can make use of some time as well. But instead...

We keep running into eachother, our perceptions of what our daily "schedule" should be are not coinciding very well yet. I might be anticipating he will do one thing, and he does something else entirely - like sit down to work in an area too visible for our son, when I want Jareth taking a nap (Jareth refuses to nap while we're both in the room, and will rarely take a nap when it's just me in the room unless it's entirely silent excepting the occasional mouse-click). Or suddenly decide to start a large, unpausable project (like cleaning out the iguana's cage after a particular substrate disaster) at a point when loud noises and him being totally unavailable are neither expected nor desired...

ack!

As I've explained to Brian repeatedly, my day revolves around our son. I set a few things down, often written on a small pad of paper at my desk, that I would like to get accomplished each day. Then, I see how it goes. Usually I'll manage to get 75% of the list done, sometimes more and sometimes less, but I'd say my average is 75%. That other 25% is frequently not urgent and just gets higher priority on the next little list I make. Most things eventually get done. The important ones anyway. But, most importantly of all, I'm available when my son really does need me, as well as available for moments of whimsical play throughout the day as I can fit them in. He does get quite a bit of playing by himself on my busier days, but I try to make up for it on the days when I can give myself a bunch of tiny little tasks I can do in a short amount of time. I have days where I'll place online orders for diaper liners and calcium supplements, call in prescription refills, run the dishwasher, answer some e-mail, and blog. On those days, it doesn't take as long for most of those items - the rest of the time is usually his. Not to mention all the little "breaks" that are required throughout the day, for diapers, snacks, meals, drinks, bottles, and other assorted childcare tasks.

I've grown accustomed to learning what my son's schedule is, as it changes. By the end of each month it's a whole new ballgame compared to the previous one, it seems. Now I'm trying to teach my husband how to work with us on this while he's here - also because if we switch roles and *I* go off to an office each day, he needs to know how to handle this. If that happens, I don't forsee my husband getting much of anything done that first week. God help us all if my son happens to be teething at the time too! LOL!

Ah, well. The resume is done, as I said before. But we had a doctor's appointment for Jareth today (with his first time not crying when getting his shots!!! I'm so proud of him!!), followed by three store stops and then a run for a haircut - Jareth's bangs were in his eyes all the time! Now he can see again! Poor little guy was so worn out (and no nap) that he passed out in the back of the car about five minutes before we got home. I had to wake him up to bring him in for a proper nap. But he was a relative angel through all of it today. I haven't dragged him around like that as much this past couple weeks, as Brian was here to watch him. Brian was off doing some testing stuff for one of the agencies he signed up with. He scored very highly - I'm so proud of him too!!!

So I'll have to wait until Monday to start calling the agencies myself. Didn't I say I'd do that last Monday? Damnit. I wanted my resume ready though, and it ended up taking most of the week to finish. Watch - they won't even like the resume! Pffft! Well, I rather like it anyway. And it got my husband's stamp of approval, so it must look good!

Yeah... I am really f-ing nervous. I haven't done this in a while.

*Takes deep breath*

*exhales*

Good.

Okay, well I'm just not going to think about it any more tonight or tomorrow, but enjoy the weekend instead. Nyah. I'll start contemplating job stuff again on Sunday sometime.

For now - G'night!

Blogging about not blogging again...

Busy, busy, busy day. More business (think busy-ness, not corporate America) tomorrow too methinks, with Jareth having a doctor's appointment and some errands to run. The little one desperately needs a haircut too, so I'm hoping to stuff that in somewhere as well.

News for today - I finally got my damn resume done. Sheesh. Usually it's just a matter of pulling it up and adding or changing an entry or two, but this time I was doing an entire makeover, after I looked at some pro resume examples and didn't like the way mine looked anymore. The true irony is that Brian had a job interview today too. My theory is that I needed him out of my hair long enough to sit down and bang it out.

*wry grin*

As much as I miss him when he's not around, I'm entirely unaccustomed to the change of having him around all the time. More on that another time though.

We rented a movie, and I need to hop into bed early tonight if possible, so that's all I'm putting up here for tonight.

G'night!

Class & Shtick

Well, it's official. Today I signed up for an art class. No credit, just a "continuing education" class where I can learn stuff. Yipee! Drawing I, here I come! Well, okay - on the 26th anyway.

I also appear to have hit potential jackpot with the advisor I talked to over there today. I had an appointment, as the letter I got said I needed one. Once I got into the office with the advisor, however, we started chatting and I found out I actually needed to be one office over paying a fee and getting registered right off. But I did get a catalogue, in case I decide to take some credit classes as well at some point. Although credit classes there will cost a pretty penny, as I'm out-of-district, which apparently raises the price per credit hour by 3 times the in-district fee. Ouch.

I happened to get the advisor who was retired, but filling in for someone on vacation right now. By the end of our chat he'd given me his home phone number - no, silly! Not for a date or anything! - so I could get in touch with his wife who is in an art "guild" nearby. Basically, it sounds like a club that gets together and paints stuff - furniture, plates, whatever they enjoy. His wife teaches too, and I guess there's a lot of opportunity to learn new stuff. He also told me about a shop in a nearby town that has art classes as well. Great guy! I think I seriously lucked out! I didn't get a chance to call his wife this evening, as we were out for most of it, but I plan to try tomorrow sometime. We'll see what comes of it.

I'm so excited!

*bounce, bounce, bounce*

The other thing I've been really excited about lately is Quick Shtick Writing. I need to fix it so the older story is on a different page, in order, so that it's easier to follow the links on this one. I guess that's the next web redesign I'll be doing I guess, although not for a bit yet. The story we're on, however, is going much differently than the last one. We're writing a fantasy this time, and it seems to be following a slight horror/disaster theme too. There may even be potential to toss in a little romance as well, who knows.

We're writing more than a paragraph at a time during this one, and it often takes me about an hour to put my entry down each day. We're writing "segments", which gives us more leeway to follow through with a thought, instead of leaving things dangling about all the time. It's also helping us flesh out the characters more, I think. We are talking to eachother a bit more on this one, discussing possible things going on in characters' minds and events that could happen in the future of the story, but we're not setting anything in stone. The last completed paragraph, for example, introduced another character after we'd already thought we'd covered all our main ensemble cast. Stott, a fisherman's son, was needed to be introduced in order to give our townsfolk (and our readers) a preview of what's coming to their town. I'm afraid we put the poor guy through some relative hell in the process, however.

I'm still finding this back-and-forth style of writing to be a thrill. This story, we've agreed recently, has potential for re-edit and possible publication once it's finished. Unless it goes dramatically downhill at some point in the future, I think it has potential. Well, *I'd* read it, anyway. Although I do agree that it would need some editing before it would be ready to be sent out to publishers.

Man, this week is just chock full of blog material, but I don't want (nor have time to) write the inordinately long blogs to cover it all. It's interesting how one week can be dirt dry of anything to really say, and another can be too busy to take time to type it all up.

But, I'll get to more tomorrow maybe.

G'night!

Rinse and SPIT!!!

On the back of the box for a recently purchased tube of Colgate Total (plus whitening) toothpaste:

Directions:

supervise children as necessary until capable of using without supervision.

Um... yeah. What marketing genius thought to put that on the box?

First, there are no directions! Toothpaste huh? We have to put directions onto toothpicks, so I'm thinking we might need to with toothpaste too. I think it's pretty likely it won't get confused with, say, Monistat, for example, but someone who's never been introduced to a toothbrush might not know what to do... And toothbrushes can be pretty intimidating these days. They spin and shake and all sorts of crap. I had a coupon for a new Crest toothbrush too, and they had to include the word "manual" to not disclude the kind I wanted to buy. You know - the kind that just sits there with the bristles and you have to actually move your own hand while brushing your teeth? I know... such tedium. Oh, the horror to have to put so much of my own energies into such an otherwise simple task!

Then again, would the toothpaste company need a pull out leaflet in order to explain the different ways to apply toothpaste to the varying types of non-manual toothbrushes? Hrm. I think we could probably get away with some basic ones based off the "manual" brush if need be...

Directions:

1) removed cap

2) hold open end of tube over bristled end of toothbrush

3) squeeze gently, applying desired amount of paste to the toothbrush bristles

4) brush teeth with paste-coated toothbrush (for best results, consult your dentist for appropriate brushing techniques)

5) return cap to tube in order to maintain paste freshness

children should be supervised as necessary

There now. My job here is done. With my directions, the world is now safer (no, not safe, just safer - some people just can't be protected from themselves no matter how hard you try, and the jury is still out on whether or not we ought to with such knuckleheads) from unintentional misuse of toothpaste. I can now sleep soundly tonight.

G'night!

And now,

Would you rather:
1. be unable to look people in the eyes OR only be able to stare too intensely at people?
Stare intensely. I'd miss eyes too much if I couldn't look into them. They can tell you so much about a person.
2. play 30 minutes of professional football OR ten minutes of professional rugby?
Not likely to happen either way, but I'm no fool. I'll take the nicely padded and helmeted football please.
3. eat a hot dog coated with chocolate frosting OR a piece of white bread soaked in vodka and dipped in ketchup?
Hot dog sounds less awful, so I'll have to go with that one. Big bites and it's all over. I might have some vodka handy for a chaser though. Uchh.
4. be the world's greatest opera singer OR the world's greatest pan flutist?
Opera singer. I love to sing, though I don't sing in front of very many people. My mom always said I was tone deaf.

Shop-ping!

According to some ridiculous stereotype, women are supposed to love shopping. Well, women and gay men anyway, if you really want to market to the specifics. Trouble is - I don't fit that mold. Especially when I'm shopping for clothes because I've gained weight.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*

But, off we went today and spent several hours sifting through clothes to find the best *bang for the buck* as I like to phrase it, and picked up some interchangeable outfits that can be worn casually or mixed with other stuff to become part of work attire. My wonderful husband, who helps me narrow down stuff based on what looks good and what will also suit our budget, went easy on me today and allowed me to get a couple of inexpensive pieces of loungewear as well - although possibly because of the countless times lately he's had to hear me whine about how my favorite sleep shirt is actually falling apart.

It is very rare for me to have clothes that I love so much they literally are worn to the point where they have holes, but one shirt that I tend to sleep in and lounge about the house in when I'm not going anywhere or seeing anyone is really becoming tattered. I actually got it at my wedding shower, from one of my husband's aunts. At the time I was slightly less impressed by it, as it looked comfy but wasn't the anticipated silky-feeling lingerie. This silly, oversized gray tank-top with a couple of buttons and a little satin bow on the front collar has been one of my favorites from the moment I put it on though, and I recently even looked online for another one like it, but I can't find a web site for the company that makes it (Sostanza), although I find other items by that company here and there on e-bay and other sites.

Anyway, I'm already wearing the shirt I bought today that is very similar to it, except it has some blue in the edging and blue spaghetti straps instead of just being sleeveless. It's also missing the bow, and its two blue buttons are in a bit of a blue V pattern on the front of the neckline. It's comfy, although I'll have to relinquish it to actually wash it tomorrow. I will admit, I love finding new comfy loungewear. Snuggly soft clothes that I'd never wear out of the house except for a "pajama party" or "sleepover" type of function.

The other clothes aren't all snuggly, per se, but most of them are more comfortable than I usually wear, as I bought things that were my size or bigger, instead of assuming I'd lose a pound to fit nicely. I figure I can still wear it during the next pregnancy if I do get so lucky as to lose weight in between, but I need stuff for job-hunting now. Some of my work clothes haven't been worn in a good couple of years, and many don't fit me right now. So I've got a couple more items I can mix and match in with my remaining stuff that does still fit, since I tend to buy interchangeable stuff more often than not anyway. I was busy matching up old skirts and jackets with new tops in my head.

The other bit that Brian let me break the initial budget on was shoes. I needed to get a new pair of brown shoes to match up with some brown and tan stuff I picked out today. I have one pair I've been wearing since Brian and I were dating, and his folks dogs got at them one evening and chewed on the insides some. They technically look okay, but I've only been wearing them out of necessity, when an outfit calls for something other than my usual blue or black flats or sneakers. While we were scanning the shoe aisle, he happened across some extremely comfy Dr. Scholls. With my already swollen feet (from standing in my socks on wood floors for a couple hours trying on clothes) they somehow actually felt like slippers instead of shoes. Amazed, I found myself checking on the others of that brand that were similarly styled, and in the end he let me pick up a black pair and a new pair of white sneakers as well. He knows I've been looking for actually comfortable shoes for some time now - my feet are really picky. When I was little we had to go to expensive shops for most of my shoes as my feet tend to be narrow. I've been more lucky in recent years as they do some shoes in narrow sizes at the less expensive stores, but it's still hard to fit me sometimes. I changed into the new sneakers right then in the parking lot after we'd paid and left.

I'd already sorted a bunch of things I'll just never wear again, out of my closet, although there's still some in my wardrobe that need to go. Now I need to box up those things I refuse to get rid of but don't currently fit me, and put those next to the box of pregnancy clothes awaiting the next one. I should just mark them in boxes with sizes on them, and then I can swap them out as I gain or lose weight, right?

*sigh*

At least I was still in a reasonable pants size, after my fears that I'd gone two sizes up the scale instead of just one. But I still bought the shirts to be bigger. I've always preferred my shirts to be big and comfy, no matter what size I'm currently at.

At least I'm still at the low end of the "plus sizes", although I'll never forget how excited I got when I dipped back into the "regular" sizes a couple years ago. I have clothes from a shopping trip I treated myself to at the time that I have mostly boxed up for the next time. Because I do plan for there to be a next time, even though I never did find out what kicked my metabolism to allow for that to happen in the first place. It certainly wasn't diet at that particular point in time.

I think I've been battling with weight ever since puberty. Rod thin, high metabolism as a child, but the boobs popped out and I "fleshed out" everywhere slowly. I was at a higher weight point for my wedding, for example, 7 years ago, and I'll never forgive the one woman who clapped her hands at me and said "oh, they have such nice dresses in the big girl sizes!" whilst I was shopping for my wedding gown. I could have smacked her. I didn't. However, I did not buy anything at that shop either. I don't care how much my husband loves me the way I am, no girl wants anyone pointing out anything more harsh than "well, I suppose you could stand to lose a couple pounds..."

It's hardest for my husband though. On one hand, I only want complete honesty from him. On the other hand, I remember when he came home after I'd gotten a spontaneous haircut, and he told me he needed to "get used to it". My surprisingly female reaction to that startled even me, as I tend to be more tomboy on a lot of things. My hormonal brain, however, interpreted that immediately as "he hates it! Waaah!", and problems ensued. We're still working out the kinks on how the new "diplomatic honesty" thing should work when it comes to these sorts of matters. The best solution so far is to bring him along for the purchase of clothes - I try stuff on and have the first vote. If I like it at all, he gets to see it and has the second vote. If I like it a lot, I'll sometimes veto him, but usually we agree anyway. Sometimes I'll come out unsure, and he can settle it one way or another for me too. That's how it was today - a series of these that resulted in some new clothes.

Anyway, that was today. Well, actually I spent this morning working on my resume, trying to get it spiffed up. I was hoping to call the temp agencies today, but the resume isn't finished yet, and we'd decided on a time to head out for shopping before I'd started. I'll have to make the calls tomorrow instead, I just may have to put them off for a day on e-mailing my new resume to them, if I don't get it finished up right off tomorrow. We'll see. I've been looking at sites, trying to determine in what ways the "new" format differs from my older, chronological one. I'm adjusting some of my older job descriptions to be more concise, whereas I tended to make them more flowery before. Ugh.

Ah, well. Enough for today.

G'night!

Chaos.

We had extra family in town tonight, and also Brian's grandma that lives here in Illinois came to join us as well. One thing I can generally say about my father-in-law's side of the family is that some of the men in it tend to have this affinity for being the loudest, longest-speaking men in the room. Amazingly, my son already shows signs of this trait himself, chattering along nonsensically even louder than his grandpa and great uncle were chattering along themselves tonight (yes, if you know them - I thought it too, but I'll grant them that their conversation made sense at least!). Oh dear. My little boy has the "loudness" gene. Be afraid. I am somewhat amazed, as it seemed to have skipped a generation in my mostly mild-mannered husband. Then again, it's the quiet ones you've got to watch out for... *wicked grin*

My little boy (and his great grandma, for that matter) is not as accustomed to all that noise and commotion, however. Poor little guy had only gotten an hour of nap after his bath earlier today, and was a little bit cranky. He did, however, spend some time today with his first box of crayons - sized big for his little fingers - that I picked up for him last week. We were celebrating my father-in-law's birthday today as well, so I'd had him "sign" with some "artwork" on the blank white space of the card before we left the house. I'd done such things before, but usually it meant me holding the pen firmly down while he pushed at it, thus wiggling the other end being pressed on the paper. Today, however, he did most of the light scribblings himself. Before dinner, however, I put him in the high chair they have there and set him up with four crayons and the Crayola sketchpad I'd bought just for him.

Good thing I'm a smart enough mommy to buy the "washable" ones.

Yup.

Most of his first "masterpiece" had to be washed off the high chair itself, and I hopefully have a couple pictures of the thin blue goatee? he managed to put on his face, but he did get a considerable amount on the paper as well, along with a few small example doodles (suspiciously looking like the Xs and Os of drawn kisses and hugs) from his great grandma and a small blue smiley done by me. We were trying to show him the capabilities that these new funny-textured toys of his had. I don't know how far we got, but he was amused by them nonetheless. I just couldn't wait any longer to introduce him to crayons. I mean, c'mon - I bought hiim the 16-count box, not the wimply little 8-count one! I did, however, stick to the primaries - blue, green, red, and yellow for tonight though orange came out to play too, about midway through.

And yes mommies - washable actually means washable. At least with the crayola ones. I only needed a damp cloth to get it off vinyl, hard plastic, clothes, and skin. Go Crayola!

Though the evening itself was fun and family - it was also a chaos of topics to discuss and attentions to be divided amongst both those we see on a regular basis and those we don't. Both wonderful and exhausting in the same breath, really. I'm not at all surprised there was no crying when we tucked our tuckered out little boy into his crib tonight. Some nights he's not ready to stop playing and go to sleep yet. Tonight, he was pooped. I know the feeling.

On that note...

G'night!

Slightly used WHAT???

Davezilla has done it again.

No words. Just laughter here.

More words maybe later.

100+ and counting...

Well, ntexas99 put the 100th comment on my blog today. Although that does count my own replies to comments, I still think it's way cool. It also counts the comments from before I moved off blogger - since I did transfer everything from this blog in from haloscan. I feel like I ought to be giving out a prize or something, but I haven't a clue what. So I'll just link her here instead.

LINK.

LINKLINKLINKLINK...

*evil grin*

The person I won't be LINKing, however, is the *ahem* lovely soul who decided to drop three more comments on today that required deleting. I've apparently moved on from *Peenus en-large-ment* on up to *V-eye-ag-rah* instead.

Actually, I'm not sure if it's a move up or down in "blogsphere terms", but it still required several minutes while I went ahead and banned all three IP adresses off all four of my currently active blogs...

And, thus, I present to you the following - my current list of banned IP adresses, for your banning pleasure. Enjoy:

• 66.114.211.138
• 148.244.150.52
• 193.224.42.8
• 213.25.96.194
• 200.48.218.179
• 200.83.0.201
• 218.32.241.53
• 200.177.167.28
• 200.62.136.145

And, if anyone know a way to block these some easier way, please let me know, will ya? I'm sure these people are not on static IP addresses, so it's a pretty good bet I'm just wasting my time.

Although I do have to be slightly amused at the choices of posts that get these comments sometimes - one of the ones today was dropped onto my post about why I don't always comment on other people's blogs, where I asked for comments from people on what their criteria might be to determine if they leave a comment or not... I guess "sales" wasn't one of the responses I had expected, really...

Got an unexpected visit from my sister today, all dressed up to go to a wedding reception with her boyfriend. My sister, in a dress and heels, is a rare thing to see - hopefully the pictures I took will turn out. She looked awesome.

*mutters something a tiny bit jealously*

What? Oh, nothing. Nevermind.

But it was just cool that she was in the area and had some time, so she stopped by. It was a nice change to see her when there wasn't anything "dire" that needed discussion - which meant we actually got to enjoy being around each other for the duration. Well, I did anyway. I can only assume she did too.

It was a lovely breeze passing through in my otherwise less than perfect world these days.

The other bright spot was a friend of ours, who we'd met through Brian's job, stopping by to drop off a couple of things he'd had to leave at the office. His little water fountain, his desk picture of me, his "brag book" of pictures of Jareth, and the couple of other personal items he'd had at his desk. Ironically, he'd only just started feeling comfortable having more than a picture of me there (and the brag book after Jareth was born) about six months or so ago.

The main item to come home was his insulated snap-top coffee mug (smooth, no handle, like a mini-thermos combined with a travel mug top) that he carried to and from each day. He's been pining for it since he lost his job. We'd even discussed the possibility of getting a "spare" that I could use once his came back home to him. I think he all but hugged it when he came home to it today.

He, on the other hand, spent today off at an energy fair with his dad and a friend of their family. So, since he wasn't getting squat done today either, I blew off a good chunk of it playing computer games when I wasn't amusing our son. I did get a couple of things out of the way beforehand, but really wasn't in the mood for much. I've started to realize that *I* never go off and do things with people other than my family at all. Whenever I have plans, it usually involves at least one family member. Hrm.

I can't wait for class. I have my "advisor" appointment this coming Wednesday. I think they really just need to tell me how to register and who to make the check out to...

I recently ended up in an art supply store. I bought myself two sketchbooks already (since they were bundled on sale), one medium and one small one. I've also yanked my drawing bin out off the shelf so I can rummage through it and determine what I have and what I might need to buy.

Tons of stuff to think about. As my husband keeps saying lately - my mind is awhirl.

Oh, and LINK!

Okay, I'll stop now. *grin*

G'night!

Uchhhh.

Well, I suppose I don't feel as bad as I did yesterday, although I did wake up having slept funny and it took a while for the aspirin to kick in so that my entire upper back and neck stopped hurting so I could lift my son without saying "ow".

I'm not particularly fond of saying "ow".

It frustrates me.

I didn't fall asleep early as hoped last night, but found myself (after a while of tossing and turning and angry "fluffing" of my pillow that didn't seem to make it less flat in the least) sitting back down here in front of the computer again, browsing a couple of blogs and then playing some computer board games against the usual computer opponents. Lately it's Hoyle Table Games.. I like the word games and gravity tiles the most. Parchisi has always been a favorite, but this newer version makes more noise than I'm accustomed to. My mom used to keep me up for hours playing games such as these with her. Some habits never die, though some ought. The games part needn't die, but the staying up late all the darn time ought. I'll keep trying to hack it.

*sigh*

On the plus side, I think I am possibly fending off whatever ailment is trying to take hold of my system. Then again, that may be the aspirin talking. I had a relatively unpleasant disagreement with my body earlier. I think I may have been arguing with my esophogus? Oy. Whatever. Maybe I can sleep off the rest of it tonight. At least it looks like I'm the only one to be affected, which means I didn't give it to anyone else. (hopefully)

I think I may need new clothes.

Argh.

One of those things I do truly hate is shopping for clothes. Except for on those rare occasions when I manage to lose a bunch of weight for no apparent reason and can shop for sizes I haven't fit into since high school.

But I'm not. That's only every happened once since high school, and we never did find out why I suddenly lost weight. Metabolism shift was the best guess. Then I whacked my head on the street and spent 10 days in the hospital, followed by a few weeks worth of headaches and a resulting attachment to staying quietly in bed. Which seemed to end that metabolism shift. Seven months after I got the all clear from my last x-ray on the head injury we went and got me knocked up (on purpose, even) and I haven't been below a specific, unmentioned weight since.

Thus - I have begun another "salad kick". I'm attempting to re-create some (although not all) of the things I learned while I had gestational diabetes during the pregnancy - when I actually found myself losing and maintaining weight, instead of gaining. I technically came out of the pregnancy slightly lighter than I went into it, once Jareth was actually out on his own. However, the three months immediately following Jareth's birth - when all I seemed to have time to eat was granola bars and the occasional piece of fruit - managed to make up for all I lost and then some. And since I've recently been on a binge, with a chocolate craving nonetheless, I've not exactly been on the healthiest diet.

So now - salad. For lunch anyway. Hopefully well-balanced, light meals for dinner, less snackies after hours, and less chocolates. Breakfast and I are leaving the blindfolds on for the moment - I do eat the more granola-based cereals, but I know I'd be better off going back to the slim-fast shakes again. It's just hard to give in. Little steps here.

It figures, however, that Jareth is absolutely fascinated at all the colorful goodies I have in my salad, but he probably can't have most of it yet, as it's raw crunchy and easy to choke on. He's notoriously uncooperative about chewing all his food before swallowing. Which means I'm introducing him to the harder stuff very slowly. He's had lettuce before - but mostly cut up into confetti-sized pieces. I haven't yet the patience to cut up my salad into confetti-sized pieces, although I did switch the bread for his peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches with the "Iron Kids" stuff this week, and we'll see how it goes. I had quickie (unbuttered, toasted bread, then microwave to melt the cheese) grilled cheese for dinner on it and it seemed okay, although a little denser perhaps. We shall have to see what Jareth thinks.

Meanwhile, I'm going to make the attempt at sleeping early again tonight, so I'm stopping off here.

G'night!

Ugh.

Don't feel so hot.

Took a nap earlier, and it's likely I'll be heading back to bed early tonight, so no real blogging shall occur.

Abnormally tired (like nearly falling asleep in my chair with my kid in my lap), stomach upset, digestion funked up, and hot and cold waves washing over me.

Ick.

I think I'm fighting something off. Keep your fingers crossed that I win, eh?

Keep your fingers crossed tighter that I don't give whatever it is to my kid.

Thanks.

G'night!

My Guys...

Recent pics of my guys...

Can you see the resemblences? I can. Jareth is so Brian's little boy.

(and not just because Jareth's hair needs trimming either)

*beams with pride*

Okay, that's all for tonight. Busy now.

G'night!