DragonBlog

Happy New Year's!!

This is the obligatory New Year's blog post...

Have a wonderful, safe, New Year's Eve! May your champagne (or sparkling grape juice if you don't drink) be bubbly, may your driving go safely (and don't do it drunk please!), and may you have plenty of fun!

Personally, we just dropped Jareth off at his grandparent's house for the night. Brian and I will now proceed with the evening's plans of getting shit-faced and playing like only two consenting adults can...

*big wide wicked grin*

Needless to say, it's highly unlikely I'll be blogging again tonight.

Although it occurs to me - if it's "needless to say", then why the hell did I bother saying it anyway?...

Pah! Whatever...

G'night and talk to ya next year!!

"Girly" Stuff...

So, normally, I don't do the "girly thing". I've always been one of those girls that wants to know why the hell we're required to wear makeup and shave our legs and all that other crap anyway. I don't like pantyhose, damnit! I won't pluck my damned eyebrows and you'd be hard pressed to find anything remotely resembling "bikini wax" anywhere near my skin! I think that's why I found belle de jour so entertaining - she's apparently a "girly" girl, and proud of it. If I get all "dolled up" it's likely been some measure of dragging me kicking and screaming to get me to do it.

Except for my husband. I'll do the "girly" thing sometimes just so he'll look at me with that one look he sometimes gets...

But that, ladies and gentlemen, is the only reason I own so many shades of lipstick. It has not a damned thing to do with any interest of my own in putting the darn stuff on my face except to generate certain responses from my husband. And the obligatory reasons. Like pictures and holidays with family, which often involve pictures.

On a daily basis, however, I only put makeup on if I need to leave the house, and then only the barest of minimums if I'm just going to the store.

So how, you might ask, did I end up at a Mary Kay cosmetics thing tonight?

I don't know. My mother-in-law won this free luxury pampering with glamour thingy and a gift certificate for their products. She got to invite some people and I was one of the ones that she asked. For some odd reason I found myself saying "Ooh, yeah, I'll be there!" I wasn't even drunk at the time...?

But, as today came closer, I was more nervous about it. I'm not the "girly" girl, so I don't play around with makeup for kicks. I don't know for sure which shades of what I'm supposed to use - I just try for subtle and hope for the best usually.

Much to my surprise, tonight was actually... well... I'm loathe to admit it, but...

fun.

*gasps*

Well, shit! There may be a little bit of "girly" in this girl somewhere after all!

I was actually all excited to find that Brian had stayed up a little past his bedtime (even though he has to be at work even earlier tomorrow than normal - but does get to leave at 2pm instead of 5pm for the holiday and gets paid extra for working it) to see how it turned out. And I found myself sitting there at the kitchen table, excitedly pointing at stuff in the damned catalog that I just have to have!

Oh, hell. It seems that the older I get, the more I succumb to my gender.

*sigh*

But the foundation was so light and natural...

Shut up, girly girl! Egads!

And the moisturizer left my skin so soft!

*sighs, shaking her head sadly at herself*

Good night.

Just another non-blog kind of day...

Tired.

I think the hectic holidays and the fact that I have been having trouble getting to sleep at night have finally caught up with me. That, and the messing around with my meds, which has pretty much confirmed that I have some definite allergies.

Sniffling, sneezing, sinus headaches, drippy nose, itchy and watery eyes, and keeping me awake at night.

But right now, I'm yawning... so damnit - I'm gonna try and get to sleep really early tonight.

I've been nearly falling alseep in my chair just after doing Quick Shtick Writing the last couple of days. This screwy sleep thing has got to stop.

I'm getting grumpy. You won't like me if I'm grumpy.

So that's all for tonight. Wish me luck.

G'night!

And now,

would you rather:
1. never have access to the internet again OR never use a phone again?
Phone. Easy. I hate the phone.
2. never drive (or be driven) again OR never fly again?
I've never actually been in an airplane yet, so I guess I wouldn't miss that one. I'd hate to never drive again!
3. never taste sweet again OR never taste sour again?
I can do without sour, but don't you dare take sweet away!
4. never say the word "the" OR never say the word "you"?
I'll go with "you". I could handle not saying that one, although does French count because I could cheat and use their words for it instead! I at least remember those words from French class well enough. The word "the" is just too vital to most sentences though.

All Hail the Consumerism Bastards...

Ahh, yes... time to rant... brace yourself.

Okay, I have just about had it - no, wait, I have had it - with the shoddy, cheap craftsmanship I keep seeing these days. Half the things in the stores these days seem to be made of chintzy plastic bits that fall apart the minute you give them any real use. As a consumer, I am sick and tired of handing over my husband's hard-earned money only to find out that what I thought I was buying is really a piece of crap that I'll have to replace in a year or two anyway.

But, apparently, I am in a minority here... Americans all around me snatch up these cheap-ass goodies greedily, thrilled that they don't have to pay an extra five bucks for something that actually lasts. And, in the capitalistic spirit of our country, the stores raise the prices of what used to be considered "cheap" up to where the "midline" ought to be, to gouge us of every last cent. So my own budget suffers horribly as I try to balance in enough "hamburger helper" that I can at least have a few things - like toys for my kid - that will hold up for the long haul. At least, in the instance of kid's toys, there are still places that sell toys that will survive a child banging on it - I can't say the same for many electronics products. What used to be "really nice stuff" is now considered "high end" apparently. Recalls and returns because something in it broke are becoming more and more common. I'm starting to think that half the products we buy these days are being thrown together and rushed off of mass assembly lines in China.

What happened to the "buy American" campaign? Oh, wait... they overpriced everything. Nevermind. Sorry, business folks, but I don't pay for labels, I pay for quality. Silly me, having standards like that...

But, what is starting to really piss the pants right off of me?

Packaging.

Today I opened up a couple of 12-packs of soda pop to transfer them into an empty cardboard case for the same soda and make it more convenient to store near our mini-fridge (which is on the fritz after only three years - go figure). Inside, after opening it from the ends (not the "recommended way", but how I wanted it to be able to break down the box for recycling) I discovered that the two cans that were positioned at either end of each box had bits of dried glue on them. The ends of the box were so sloppily glued together that the glue got on the cans. This happened in both of the packages that I opened, and it is not the first time I have seen the cans come out this way. In fact, I've been seeing it for some time now. Today's offender was Diet Mountain Dew, but it happens in a lot of the cases of soda pop we've bought lately.

It's "trivial" on one hand, but on the other...

The bits of glue usually pop easily off the can. So, if I slide it into a cover, to keep the can cool, I might not notice if the glue pops off in the process and ends up on the floor. Is the glue non-toxic? What if my cat or my kid finds it and eats it? I can't run around with a dustbuster, vaccuming 24-7. I'm still striving towards "supermom" here... I don't expect to ever be "mega-uber-vaccums-and-cleans-all-the-damned-time-mom". Not ever.

And what about the times when I've had a "half-can" come out of one of the cases. What? Did the machine stop and need something filled, changed, or reprogrammed at that point? How come I get the half-filled can?

Oh, yeah. I could take it back to the store and whine and complain until they did something about it. But they aren't the ones who didn't bother to check and make sure that the product they were sending out wasn't crappy. They're just mean enough to sell it to me at marked-up prices is all. They deserve much different punishment. Not to mention that it isn't the poor sap stuck at the "customer service" desk that really deserves to take the rap for it either.

I also opened up a box for a Lipton tea this evening too, and had to use my mystic oragami skills to put the damned thing back together again, and then put it carefully back into the cupboard such that it wouldn't just spring open and dump it's bags of lemon tea all over the shelves. I ended up having Cinnamon Apple tea instead - it was yummy. That box didn't stay together any better though. Apparently they don't believe in using glue or staples at all in their attempts to use "economical packaging". It may be nicer for our environment, but my cupboard disagrees. Maybe they could just compromise with a couple of staples on either end?

We put a gazillion "safety seals" on half our consumable goods, but then once we've gotten into it, the whole damned box falls apart?

What the???

How much of our money is going to which bit here anyway?

Oh yeah... the money they saved on that packaging is going into the company president's sports car... nevermind.

Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!

I want my money back!

NO! Actually I want the "good old days" when things were made to last. When part of what you paid so much for was the assurance that it would still work in ten years...

On a consumerism and capitalism level... we are not evolving well here folks. Let's start insisting on some Quality eh?

*sigh*

/rant off

Enough for now. I need to go fetch another can of soda pop.

G'night.

Annoyed...

For those who may have tried read Quick Shtick Writing this morning only to find a blank white page staring at you - sorry! It's the first time it has happened to one of Brian's posts, although it has been happening frequently to mine both there and even longer and worse here on my own blog. Either one of the Moveable Type files is corrupted or something in the database isn't working right, (I guess it's time to make another backup of it!) but I keep having to rebuild the index files and reload until it looks right. Brian now knows to check and fix it too, so if it comes up blank for you - wait about 5 minutes and try again - it doesn't take long to fix, usually, it's just really damned annoying.

In good news, however, we've got the in-laws babysitting Jareth on New Year's!

I sense a night of "grown-up" time coming...mmmm.

But, in the meantime, tomorrow is likely "returns day". At least that means stores with computer goodies in them too... I just hope it doesn't mean horrible crowds as well.

Wish me luck!

G'night!

(Time to post this and "rebuild index files" 2-5 times until it shows up on my web site properly *grumble*)

Compounded Chaos...

I have to say that, after all is said and done in regards to Christmas, I remain torn on what I want for next year. As Brian mentioned on his blog, some parts felt a little more chaotic this year than in years past - I expect that it has a lot to do with being a parent of a child Jareth's age though, where we're helping him unwrap gifts and trying to keep him dividing his attention amongst several things when we normally enjoy the fact that he has such focus sometimes. Jareth was very overwhelmed and yet refused to nap for either day of festivities. He wanted to be a part of everything that was going on, and not miss anything, but it was all a lot more people and commotion than he is used to.

I find it ironic that my mother-in-law gave me an article about the dangers of too much television for children - that it can be too frequently-changing for such a young little mind to absorb, and possibly contribute to attention-deficit disorders later on. And here we were, all Christmas Eve and Day, trying to keep our son from getting overwrought at all the different stuff and people around him. He's used to a slower, simpler pace around here. We don't watch much television ourselves, much less put him in front of it. So he's content to sit for quite some time, playing with favorite toys, especially if we have the time to sit and play with him. He wants to see everything, but at his own pace. Christmas, was not at my son's pace.

He did get some wonderful toys, however, and has been having a wonderful time today as he inspects each of them at his own pace. We've divided some of them up into different rooms too, so he will have new stuff in each area he plays in, as well as to not overwhelm him with all his new stuff at once. Today has been a needed break for him, and he also got to take a nap at a regular time, in his own crib.

Speaking of which, it's time to tuck him into bed now... he's been extra tired today because of the last two.

More from me tomorrow then.

G'night!

Snowy Christmas...

Christmas has been lovely, despite anticipations to the contrary this year... and the lovely surpise gift from Mother Nature only added to the wonder. I think the best picture I got on my camera was after all the festivities, when we set Jareth down and let him walk around and check out the snow this year...

I hope your day was lovely too! More from me tomorrow...

G'night!

Merry Christmas!!

For all of those celebrating Christmas tomorrow - have a wonderful one! I hope you get to spend it surrounded by loving family members.

May your spiritual diety/entity/pantheon/universe/whatever bless you, one and all, even if you aren't celebrating Christmas tomorrow.

And, if you're agnostic. Have a really nice Saturday. Egg nog doesn't require you practice a faith for it to taste good you know. And there's a movie marathon on sci-fi you can watch if you get that channel. *grin*

It is unlikely I'll have much time to post tomorrow, so I will talk about my holiday adventures later on - maybe Sunday, we'll see.

Stay safe, guys.

G'night!

'Tis the Season - Drink up!

T'was two nights before Christmas
and all through my house
Every critter was stirring
including the little brown mouse (whom I haven't seen in about a week, but the cats haven't caught yet)...

The stockings were hung
on the bannister with care
and I'd recently redone
the dye-job on my hair.

The presents were wrapped
or at least those that'd arrived
and the gas tank was full
for the Christmas Eve drive.

And Jareth was snuggled all safe in his bed,
while a mobile of bears spun just over his head.

The dishes, they rattled, above in the sink
while Brian washed up, after Amy's big stink.

When what, in my wondering hands did appear?
Why, a bottle of eggnog, to enhance Christmas cheer!

Ooooh!

Gotta go now - G'night!

Not so hot-so...

Uh-oh. I do not feel so good today. From the moment I got out of bed I've wanted to get back in it, and I overslept some to begin with. I started taking a different antihistamine recently and it dried my nose up something fierce, but now it is suddenly trying to get all leaky regardless of the meds. I've a nasty little sinus headache brewing and this morning I sneezed up goo! Eww!! As in, a big globber of goop that didn't come out of my nose! Uchhhh!

I know... right about now you're thinking "gee, um... thanks for sharing... not!"

At least the errands are done, but I may stick Brian with the dishes and cooking today. It'll be a miracle if I get much wrapping done as it is.

*sniffle*

Oh, crap... and I don't have anything pulled out for dinner yet either... I guess he gets off easy on the cooking thing then, 'cause all he'll have to do is heat up the cheap frozen mexican snacky things I got for a "junk food" night. I had anticipated we'd have those Thursday, while I'd be busy finishing up any last-minute wrapping, but I guess I'll bail and we can have them tonight instead. I should pull chicken out for tomorrow night though...

And today - my son has figured out what that plastic hammer that came with one of last Christmas's toys is for - hammering. As you can imagine, this goes vastly well with the aforementioned headache...

mwaaaaah!

Although I did just ask him to stop, and I think he may just have understood?! Wow... I have one incredible little boy!

I need a nap. I may not get any wrapping done at all today. I may just crawl into bed while Jareth has his nap.

More later maybe... but only if I'm conscious.

SuperMom shops again!!! (or something like that)

Today, hopefully, was the last of the errands I will have to undertake until Christmas is over. The last Christmas gift has been purchased - only because of some person on Amazon who didn't say upfront that they wouldn't sell to Illinois, and suddenly refunded my money without time for me to order from someone else. With the exception of the gift that is taking forever to ship to me, all the presents are waiting - either wrapped or in the queue to be wrapped. The groceries are done too, including the stuff we're to bring to the two parties - both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Since Brian has both those days off, I have fun breakfasts available for those mornings as well - easy, yummy, no-hassle stuff so we have more time to spend together.

Today was also Solstice... so, um... Happy Solstice. Except we didn't really do much more than say it to one another this year. We've just been too busy with all the Christmas stuff instead.

Today was also really damn cold outside! Brrrrr. Jareth thought so too.

Today was just plain insane.

Allow me to elaborate...

So, first there is store #1, Best Buy, where we stop off and find that the aisles are too skinny to wheel a cart through - but I need a cart or my little boy will run amuck in the store - and at least it's still afternoon at this point, so it isn't horribly crowded, so getting through the checkout line isn't bad. We get what we need and then we bail out of there as fast as possible.

Then we stop off at a Wendy's so I can grab a quick lunch, since I hadn't had a chance for any prior to that point, and I share some unsalted french fries with a grinning little boy in his car seat. He's finally got "french fries" figured out. He can't say it yet, but he sure knows how to eat them when he gets some! I prefer my fries without salt - the bonus is that they always come piping hot that way, as they usually have to make a separate batch just for you!

Then off to the "evil store" - Wal-Mart - where we run rampant through the aisles, grabbing up the items on our list, some of which for the dessert I'm making for Friday night. That store went surprisingly smoothly - I even got out of there in a reasonable amount of time. Then again, I finished there just as rush hour started, which meant that it probably got hellish after I left.

Then, things got complicated.

Brian was out doing some shopping of his own tonight, so we agreed that we'd each just catch some dinner out somewhere. After some thought, I decided to hit a specific restaraunt near the mall by us, and drove over there next. It's always good to eat before you go to the grocery store. I found a parking spot and put the car in park...

Jareth was asleep. My little guy had finally decided it was naptime.

*sigh*

I'd like to take a poll of how many other mothers tend to go on "longer" road trips when they find out their kid has fallen asleep in the car? Hands? Uh-huh...

So, I rethought dinner, pulled out of that lot and headed towards another spot, then thought that I might as well give him more time than that so he wouldn't be grumpy when he woke up, and changed course to head for a favorite hot dog joint of mine.

But, nearly there, I decided that maybe hot dogs weren't the healthiest nor most convenient of things to feed my kid tonight. I saw a Boston Market (chicken and turkey joint, for those who don't know), and headed to that instead.

I guess my timing was impeccable, as he woke up when I turned off the car. Either that or the turning off of the car woke him up...whatever, he'd gotten at least a half an hour nap, thus avoiding the grumpiness factore.

Boston Market, on the other hand, has obviously gone far, far, far, downhill as of late. Egads!

I ordered the "Lemon Herb Rotisserie Chicken, Fresh Steamed Broccoli Spears with Hollandaise & Potatoes Au Gratin". Sounds good, eh? The chicken wasn't bad. A bit salty but not bad for quck food. For 55 cents they "upgraded" my meal from 1/4 chicken to 1/2 chicken, which sounded like a decent deal in order to just share one meal between myself and my son. In the end it was more food than we had room for, so I suppose we got our money's worth...however...

Okay, the "fresh steamed broccoli" was not in "spears", but one big clump of broccoli. I never even tried the hollandaise, as it was on the side in a little cup, and the plastic knife they gave me refused to cut the broccoli! I dented the broccoli slightly and stabbed it some with my fork, but I think the broccoli won. I went back and mentioned this to one of the people who worked there, who got the guy that had put my order together.

He offered to cut it with scissors.

Um...?????

I suggested that that wasn't going to work. The next suggestion was that I just pick it up and eat it with my hands...

...?

I was a bit speechless and caught off guard, personally. I hastily suggested that I was trying to set a good example for my son - hey, it was the first "polite" reply that came to my mind. He asked what else could be done about it...

Um... duh!!! How about giving me something edible you moron!!!

I politely asked if I could have a different side dish, and he said yes. Since I was trying to stay in sight of my son, however, I couldn't go to the counter and look at the side dishes, so I just suggested macaroni and cheese, not wanting to guess at what I remembered them having. Fortunately, I didn't have any troubles with the mac and cheese.

Then there was the Potatoes Au Gratin. They were reasonably tasty, although I could tell they were chock full of grease, and not the best food for us to be eating. I tried one first, and it was lukewarm, so I didn't think twice about sticking one into Jareth's waiting mouth... unfortunately that particular piece happened to have been the one HOT one in the plate! Ack!!!

There's a certain look a child gets when you put something too hot into his mouth. It's this look of panic, and for some reason he closes his mouth tightly onto whatever it is that is causing him the pain! It's only happened maybe three times ever, and so he's still unsure of what to do! I keep trying to get him to open his mouth or take some water to cool it down but he just clamps his mouth shut and looks at me with this "Mommy, what the hell did you just put in my MOUTH???!!!" sort of look. I kept apologizing and trying to help him, but eventually it got cool enough for him to chew and swallow down.

My poor little guy! *sniffle*

Let's just say he wasn't going anywhere near the potatoes after that!! I managed to make amends by letting him eat nearly all of the hunk of cornbread they always give you with the meal at Boston Market. He was all smiles again once he'd tasted that, and enjoyed taking big honking bites out of it while getting his hands all sticky.

For some reason, though, he didn't like the chicken. I cheated, however, when I found that he liked the mac and cheese - I took bits of the chicken and served it in with the cheesy noodles and he didn't seem to notice. Yay! Protein in the kid! Too bad the veggies didn't pan out though... *grumble*

After that, I needed to pee. Now, see that's a hard thing to do when you're out alone with a kid who doesn't know to stand while in bathrooms (instead of plopping down on the floor to check out the tile), and even if he does stand up for you, he'll wander off now that he knows how to walk! But, again, I cheated. The bathroom was a single, and big enough to get wheelchairs in and out of, so therefore - big enough to roll the wheeled high chair into! Mwahaha! I rolled him in there with me, got to pee without having to worry, and then made use of the fold out diaper-changing station in there for him too! Maybe I'm not the first parent to think to do that, but I also usually have Brian around at restaraunts so we can take turns and being alone tonight I allowed myself the luxury of thinking it was rather clever of me to do that. The people who worked there, however gave me rather odd looks!

After that, we had a quick trip through the grocery store and a stop at the gas station to fill up for the weekend. By the time we got home it was clear that Jareth had had quite enough of the shopping for one day! He wasn't cranky about it though - he's rarely like that. He was just zoning out in the grocery store, looking bored and tired. As usual, I'm amazed at what a good little boy I have! As soon as I got home I got him inside and out of his jacket so he could play and move around some while Brian helped me get the stuff in from the car. He cheered right up! Once we were done putting stuff away, we hung out with him while he played until it was time for his bedtime bottle.

So, that was my adventures for today!

Until tomorrow...

G'night!

And now,

Yes, I totally forgot this last week. I did remember, but by that point it was Saturday or something and I figured it was way too late by then... Blame the holidays, I'm just too darn busy! But back on schedule this week!

Would you rather:
1. walk a mile over broken glass in nothing but bedroom slippers OR spend an entire day in nothing but a bath robe?
Um... bathrobe. That was so not a hard choice - my bathrobe is comfy!
2. catch your neighbor digging through your trash OR digging in your backyard?
I think I'd rather they be digging in my back yard. Besides - then I can sue them for destruction of property! Mwahaha!
3. eat 12 pounds of chocolate in one sitting OR 12 pounds of potatoes (cooked any way you want)?
Easy! Chocolate! I wouldn't want to eat that much grease off all those french fries anyway! Eech!
4. be constipated for an entire week OR throw up twice a day for an entire week?
I've done the constipated for a week thing - I can handle that again if I needed to (and probably will when I get to the last few months of pregnancy, actually). It's actually a whole lot worse on the body to repeatedly throw up! I wouldn't want all those stomach acids tearing my throat apart! Yecch!

Looks like a few things are running a bit late...

Well, while the chaos continues in the buildup to Christmas, let's not forget that tomorrow is Solstice - apparently the shortest day of the year, with the longest night. Meaning the sun will be out less than usual tomorrow. After that, I believe we hit the backswing and daytime will start getting longer again.

Today, however, I didn't really even notice the sun, as I did laundry and started wrapping presents. I'm especially upset at one company that I ordered from, however, that haven't gotten the items to me yet. I ordered from them early (December 8th), under the assumption that the items they had listed on their web site were things they actually stocked. How silly of me! I signed up for their free shipping option, which meant I could order an extra item for the person I was buying for without breaking the budget. After several e-mails back and forth, they tell me that the items arrived at their place today and would I like to spend an extra $20 to have it shipped sooner?

*roars angrily*

Would I what?

Now, see, if I were made of money I might like to pay extra to get it here in time for Christmas, but I'm NOT! I have a budget to try and stick with here, and $20 actually can be a lot of money to just casually spend on shipping!

Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!

I've already warned my sister-in-law (whom the gifts are for) that her gift may be late this year. I am very disappointed and it is unlikely I will order from this company again. I'll probably mention them more specifically after I've given my sister-in-law her gifts. If she reads this, I don't want her figuring out what we got her by checking out the web site I bought it off of... heh.

Oh, and then there's the bit relating to my rant last night...um... yeah.

So, the company our health insurance is originally through decided a while back to change the company they do it with. Because he was laid off from that job, and has the insurance still because of this "cobra" program, Brian didn't realize that our insurance was going to be changing next year. Apparently there were forms we needed to fill out to "enroll" in the new program or something.

Those forms, as we realized last night, needed to be filled out by December 3rd.

OH FUCK! PANIC !!!!!

Let's just say I was not a "happy camper" when I found this out last night. Basically, it means that our insurance runs out when the year does. Happy fucking New Year's.

Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!

Now, we already had an application we were working on to apply for insurance of our own, instead of paying so much with the Cobra program. So we've finished it, and our agent is picking it up tomorrow. But that will still mean weeks of processing. The agent has some other option for us I guess, and I'm sure we'll get it all worked out, but I'm still in a bit of a "panic mode" until it's fixed.

But, I suppose I've got to love the irony of finding out about it after last night's blog. Sheesh.

Oh... and I think the kitten is sick. Her nose has been unusually moist the last couple of days, and she seems a bit under the weather. Not too much though, as I've still seen her playing some, but I think she might have a "kitty cold" or something. She hasn't vomited or anything though, so I'm hoping it will pass. The vet is already coming on January 3rd as it is. I'm keeping an eye on her though.

Oh... and one other tidbit. A cute thing my son is now doing. I guess he's seen me pick up the phone to answer it just often enough to want to mimic it. He's pretending with puzzle pieces and other toys - he holds them up to his neck and says "hello" as if answering the phone! Needless to say, one of the toys we've gotten him for Christmas is a play phone. It can record a little message, so I want to record one of us saying "hello" back to him for now!

He really does notice things - I'm not a phone person, so I'm only really ever on the phone when someone calls here, and we don't get a ton of calls necessarily. I love the little things he picks up on.

Okay, that's all for tonight.

G'night!

Falling Short...

Some days I find myself wishing I could do things to fix situations that aren't mine to fix. I'm watching my in-laws having to worry over the fact that they don't have insurance yet through my mother-in-law's new job. They didn't have the budget to put her on their regular payroll for that department, or something like that, and so they've got her working through a temporary agency until their budget refreshes. Meanwhile, they're still without insurance and she just needed to have her gallbladder out. She decided she was up the trip to our house for dinner tonight, so they came over and much of the conversation had to do with options and avenues they are looking at to get through this.

We've offered up what assistance we can, but I can't just wave a magic wand and make the new medical bills and the tension they cause vanish in a puff of smoke like I'd like to. It's all an evil thing, especially around the holiday season.

I have to say I was very impressed, however with my mother-in-law coming over here so soon after surgery. I had been sure that we'd either be going over there or cancelling altogether, but she seems to be quite a trooper in recovering. Physically, it looks like she's doing just great. Emotionally, though, the whole "no insurance" thing is very stressfull. I think it's terrible that they should even find themselves in this situation. I think it's almost criminal that this country can allow people to end up having to worry about how much their medication is going to cost to make them well. So much so that some people will even refuse to take their meds, suffering because of the cost.

I cannot believe that we can consider ourselves so much better than other countries when we let some people suffer and even die because they can't afford medical care. The hospitals now can't refuse to treat you in an emergency, but that doesn't mean they can't run you bankrupt instead if you don't have insurance. I've been there - just before my own gallbladder surgery, actually.

I had a pain while at work one day. I was working a temp job (with possible permanent opportunities if I remember correctly) and they had a nurse on location. I ended up going to the emergency room. I had no insurance, and they didn't figure out what was wrong that day. I later found out that the additional pain I had was also my colon, which suffered some damage rubbing up against the gallbladder too. All I knew at the time though, was that I was in pain and something needed to be done. I went to whatever doctor would see me - which meant I got referred downtown. We only had one car at that time, so Brian had to take most of a day off each time I went down for an appointment to a medical center through the University of Illinois Chicago. They didn't refuse to see me, but instead they treated me like a number. They didn't find the problem either - so, instead, they made me feel like I was lying and wasting their time.

I started to doubt myself, as a result. I cried every time I left an appointment from their office...

Then Brian got hired permanently at his job, and his insurance kicked in. We were able to go see a doctor under the insurance, and I started anew with him - letting him know that nobody seemed to know what was wrong with me.

After one test, he had determined that I had gallstones. I had my gallbladder removed and the majority of the pain was gone. It took a while for the scar tissue to heal and my colon still bugs me sometimes in that area, but the removal of the gallbladder took away the problem. It was a marked, huge improvement.

I think that's the main reason why I'm so scared about the insurance right now. There's a limit to how long the current "program" that lets us keep our insurance during Brian's job hunt will last. After that, if something hasn't changed, we'll be in that same place again - only this time, we have a child. That terrifies me. I don't want something to happen to my child and find that people refuse to treat him, or treat us like someone too negligent to be able to take care of our child!

I have to say, a part of me is shocked at how we treat each other here, that the most basic of medical care isn't readily available for anyone who needs it, without there being a price tag on it. Well, fuck you, capitalist America. You selfish, fucking, bastards...

Yeah, I know... I don't usually swear here. Sorry, but I can't help it on this one. I mean - how much better are we than other countries if we turn our backs on our own like that? What, is it meant to be a "culling of the herd"? Survival of the fittest? Here we are offering aid to other countries, at what cost? But we can't even put a healthcare program in place for those who can't afford insurance.

It ought to be a crime. Morally, I think it already is...

G'night.

Social Chaos...

Wow. With the party last night and our friend who babysat last night hanging out with us today, as well as having my sister and her boyfriend over for dinner tonight... this has already been a busy, busy weekend and there's still one day of it left! It has also been a while since I've made post-midnight posts to this blog, but this will be the second night in a row for that. Tomorrow will probably seem much more sedate in comparison, although we're still hoping to go see Brian's folks if his mom is feeling up to it. It was supposed to be at our house, but they kept her longer at the hospital (she came home today) after she spiked a bit of fever and they wanted to keep an eye on her. I certainly don't expect her to be feeling up to hopping in the car and coming to our place for dinner. She may not feel up to having us over there either. We'll see.

Other than that, I think our only plans for tomorrow are to catch up on some taped television from last week that we haven't had a chance to get to yet.

Mind you, I've already got errands booked up to run this week. I thought I had the last present ordered and dealt with this morning, but I got a "refund" from someone who won't sell to me because I happen to be in Illinois where they'd need to apply a tax. Instead of giving me a chance to pay the tax, they just refused to send me what I had ordered and refunded the money. Now, I'll have to run out and purchase it locally, if I can find it, and deal with the stores. Ugh. At least I have the chance to go during the daytime.

I'm tired. A part of me can't wait for January, when things will hopefully calm down for a while again. My piles of stuff I don't have time to get to have doubled in the last couple of weeks - it's not pretty.

But right now, I plan to wind down some and then crawl into bed.

G'night!

Company Christmas Party...

Well, we did still get to go the the Christmas party that the company Brian is working at had this evening. They held it at a room in a nearby hotel - nice place, beautiful architecture and some beautiful furniture and lighting pieces although an odd mix of styles. The food was pretty darn good, although a little optional salad dressing on their fancy green salad would have been nice. The chicken dinner was surprisingly filling, tender, and tasty, not to mention very attractive on the plate. Thumbs up on Hotel Baker in St. Charles, Illinois. The staff was also friendly and efficient. I think the only complaint I had with the whole thing was that there were only three water glasses on tables with four seats - huh? That meant I was the one sitting there dying for a glass of water and I was busy enough with conversation that I never found the chance to ask for one. Brian did the gentlemanly thing, however, and tracked down one for me a little later. They were also a little too efficient in cleaning up, as the water glass vanished after we'd made a quick trip to the restrooms, but that commonly happens wherever you go. I'm just the type of person who likes to have that glass of water handy all the time. We tracked another one down at the bar instead.

It was also fun to put faces to the names of people Brian has come home mentioning from work. I thought it was really nice that the company invited the group he's working in, as they are all temporary employees, brought in for this specific project and not really part of the whole "company" in that regard. Some companies treat temps like crap - they don't get invited to lunches or included in weekly "fun" things (like when donuts are brought in for the staff or pizza). Other companies are decent to their temps, and this one seems to be one of those. They made a point of making sure that the temps are getting pay for the holidays, even if they haven't been with their temp company long enough to qualify. I thought that was really cool, and got to meet the woman who set that up.

Not many of the temps actually went to the Christmas party, so it was a small group of people that Brian knew and could introduce me to, but I thought it was really cool of the company to include their temps in the invitation in the first place. It was really nice to have a night out where we got dressed up nice and went out somewhere. We made "grown-up" conversation, and did a little dancing. It was a relief to know that I can still make some measure of small-talk without utterly embarrassing myself. At least I don't think I embarrassed myself. Other than my sudden inablilty to spell Massachusetts...and yes, I did just look that up to make sure of my spelling. And no, I didn't spell it right the first time, I missed by adding an 'e' before the 's' at the end... damnit! But I wasn't having trouble because of too much wine, just because it's a damned hard state to spell! Remind me never to move there! Yeech.

Overall, it was an enjoyable evening. I didn't think I was going to get to go, after finding out about my mother-in-law's gallbladder, I thought I'd have to stay home. In the end, a friend of ours came over and watched over our little one while we went. I set up enough chili in the crock pot today to cover tonight and tomorrow night's dinners, although Jareth apparently was unwilling to eat. He gets really picky about who feeds him, so I'm not concerned. He'll just be extra hungry tomorrow is all. Especially since he refused to drink his bedtime bottle either.

For now, I'm going to kick back for a little bit and then turn in. It's been a hectic day and a busy evening.

G'night!

All Manner of Chaos...

So, it's not the best idea to start way to start telling someone a story by letting them know that it ends in the emergency room. Apparently I need to fill my father-in-law in on that little idea, as that's basically how he started one when he called us yesterday.

Turns out my mother-in-law had a gallstone blockage and today they did the surgery and pulled the gallbladder out. It sounds as if everything went well, based on Brian's recap of the conversation he and his dad had a short while ago. She'll be home again sometime tomorrow. If I'm remembering, from my own gallbladder surgery a few years back, they mostly want to monitor her overnight for any adverse reactions to the pain meds or the body being finicky because they went and poked three holes in it so they could suck a small internal organ out...

Heh. um... ow! I know I stayed in bed at home for at least a couple of days before I was really up to much after that one. It was probably a good week before I was really feeling myself again. At least she'll be done with the worst of it by Christmas. The company she's working at is also taking the week after Christmas off entirely, so she'll get some extra kick-back time then too, which she might need after the hectic couple of days at Christmastime.

They were supposed to babysit for us tomorrow, while we go to the Christmas party for the place Brian is working at. We hastily rescheduled and a friend of ours is going to come and babysit here instead. *phew* I think I have to show him how to change a diaper though... egads!

More irony though - Brian told me he just might dance with me at this darn party. He just generally doesn't dance. He gets all full of inhibitions and stuff. But he said (of his own volition even - no prodding on my part) that he planned to dance with me! So, naturally, my left leg is giving me fits tonight. I've pulled the crutches out early and plan to baby it until tomorrow afternoon, in the hopes that it clears up.

I'm printing the newsletter (finally!) as I type this. There were some last-minute changes on design and a couple of typo fixes, but it will definitely be mailing out sometime tomorrow or Saturday at the latest. Once they've finished printing, I just need to print the labels, fold, stuff, stick and then haul myself over to the post office.

Even more chaos is the amount of packages I'm still waiting on to arrive in time for Christmas. I have packages with items for five different people in them that I still haven't gotten yet. One of them looks as if it might not even ship by Christmas at this rate! I've sent them an e-mail hoping for some better info. The others I'm still holding out for though - most are from or through Amazon.com, and some are toys for my son which had better be here in time or heads are gonna roll! If there's anything that can bring the dragon out in me, it's if somebody messes anything relating to my son... mwahaha!

His new winter coat, on the other hand, finally did arrive today, and looks adorable on him at least. I'm hoping it's warm enough, as it looks a bit thinner than I had thought it would be. He also didn't like the bumpiness of the hood that came with, but it snaps on, so I detached it and he seemed fine after that. I do have a hat if the hood doesn't work out on colder days, although it's red and kind of silly looking and won't remotely match the jacket, sooo.... we'll see. Perhaps I have grounds to buy him a new hat when I get him some snowpants so I can let him loose on the next snow that comes. We shall see.

In the meantime, I'm off to merge spreadsheets into label documents for printing, and other such nonsense...

G'night!

The Newsletter...

I've spent a good chunk of today getting the final version of our yearly newsletter done today. I have a few last changes from Brian and then I think it's ready to print. I still haven't decided if I should put a .pdf up here or not, as the darn thing has a picture of me in it and I've managed to keep my own mug shots off this weblog until now for the most part. It's a recent picture too, and I've not exactly been at my skinniest this year... rather to the contrary actually, which generally makes me that much more photo-phobic. I'm usually the one taking the pictures...duh!

Maybe I'll just make a "weblog safe" version and put a box over myself in the picture?

Grrr... I'll have to decide. But first there's the printing and folding and labeling and all that to do.

I didn't think I'd come up with much for my segment in it, but in the end I had a nice long recap of the year and even left out a couple of things, like the new kitten and the finishing of Jareth's bedroom. I'm not going to add those in, as I've already taken up a bunch of space as it is. I still managed to make it come out to the usual two-page sheet though, so I can print both sides of the heavy stock paper I have and keep it simple. I guess the biggest change is that I did most of the artwork in photoshop this year instead of my usual handheld drawing. I so badly want one of those Wacom (?) tablets that you can hook up to the computer and do the drawing by hand. I am very curious how sensitive they are, and if they allow for any pressure compensation so that you could do shading and stuff. Mmmmm... toys...

Of course there's little real reason why I'd need such an expensive little toy, although I thought I saw one at CompUsa for a reasonable price... drool.

Anyway, the newsletter will get finished today or tomorrow, and then hopefully be off in the mail soon! Yay! One more thing to check off my list!

G'night!

Bead Rock...

Hmm. I poked the weblog a few times at the point when I usually blog, while Brian was getting Jareth ready for bed (also known sometimes as the "Bedtime Ritual" apparently), and the server was all laggy and wouldn't let me get to the "new entry" section. Bugger. So I'm posting later than usual tonight.

I guess it's movie week here at our house, two rentals in as many nights. Last night we did the Harry Potter flick and tonight was I. Robot. I can't remember when the last time I saw a movie in an actual theatre was... I seem to recall greedily seeing a lot in the theatre while pregnant though, knowing that my days for such luxuries were numbered. I do have to say that it's always nice being able to pause and not miss anything if you have to hit the bathroom midway through though. *grin*

I have to say I find it encouraging that Jareth still seems to show little to no interest in watching television, even when we are. We started watching the Harry Potter one early enough last night that he could have watched it with us, but he's still content to sit and color or play puzzles on the floor instead. There's frequent pausing sometimes when he decides it's time to "share" his crayons with us, but he's amazing at playing quietly when he wants to. We've pointedly tried to give him a lot of more simple toys, many with stuff for him to learn but without all the extra lights and gadgets that so many of the toys today seem to have. Toys 'r Us actually scares me this time of year! I haven't set foot in there this year yet, but I'm searching for a play phone that isn't so "interactive" and I may have to try there soon. I've seen him walking around with the occasional toy held against his cheek or neck, as if he's mimicking me using a phone, so I thought would find him something that looked more like what he was pretending to use. I feel so sure he's pretending though - I'm thrilled to see his little imagination at work!

Today we played "music" games after breakfast for a while. I started up some music on my computer, and for a while he was a bit baffled as to where it was coming from. After he'd adjusted to that, he started playing with some glass jars of beads on my desk instead. I've been using the beads to make some earrings to wear over the holidays, and I store them in baby food jars. If the caps are on tight, I see no problem with letting him shake and stack them while sitting with me at my desk. Today I saw him "get it" as I shook one of the jars of beads in time with the music. He was shaking another one excitedly, (not exactly in time, but give the kid a break - he's not even two yet!) and so proud of himself.

Sometimes my little family gets me all weepy-eyed with this silly grin on my face. Mmmmmm.

G'night!

Small World...

Oh, wow... Mrs. Ljung left a comment on my blog! I guess I'll be sending an e-mail out tonight, telling her more precisely who I am. Or, perhaps I should think of it more as who I was, as I'm certainly not quite the same person I used to be back in high school...

I've been doing my posts on To Our Children's Children regularly for some time now, although my Brian has *ahem* slacked off a bit on that one. Then again, his habit is to tend to the blogging in the morning and he'd have to get up awfully early in order to do half the stuff he'd like to be doing on a regular basis. So I try not to bug him about it too much.

I'm currently into the section on "college" now, which is kind depressing, as the completion of my bachelor's degree still eludes me. I won't knock the importance of my Associate's, as it has given me a step up on the pay scale and job market from time to time when I've been working, but it still isn't the oh-so-coveted bachelor's that I wanted so very badly. Having my health smack me back down the last time I tried to go back didn't help either, so my answers on this chapter might be a bit short and to the point. I just want to get through it. The idea is to go back in ten years and answer them again, so maybe by then I'll have more interesting things to say anyway. I am planning on taking some more credit classes next year at one of the community colleges. It might be on a variety of subjects though.

But, for now, I'm off to tuck in my little boy. He's going to bed late tonight since we rented one of the Harry Potter movies and I kind of overslept a little this morning anyway.

So, until tomorrow...

G'night!

Localized Morality vs. Spiritual Morality

It is very odd sometimes to have to refer to myself as a separate entity from my "spiritual self". This was something I had to do repeatedly in a conversation with Brian on the way home from dinner tonight. I find that sometimes I am at odds with myself, as I have very solid feelings about positions within both entities. This discussion ended up on, as it frequently does, the topic of murder...

Now, I, meaning myself in this lifetime and not my spiritual self", am a pacifist. I think I can make an exception with the death penalty for certain violent and cruel crimes, but overall I can't stand the very idea of one person taking the life of another. It's wrong. It goes against my every moral fiber. The horror I felt over 9/11, as I watched the twin towers fall only served to help solidify that. I cannot understand how one person could knowingly take the life of another, except perhaps in self-defense. There is a part of me, perhaps just too niave and innocent, that can't comprehend how someone could do it. Yet it happens all the time.

And a part of me does understand, even if I don't want to admit it. A part of me inside lies dormant. That part of me knows that I would want to do physical harm on a large level if someone were to ever hurt my child or my husband. A part of me that is connected to those them would be unable to cope with the loss.

But, I'd have a really hard time coming up with any other circumstance where I would take the life of another human being away...

But then, the "spiritual me" steps forward to whisper in my ear, and remind me that "it's all part of the experience". Meaning the experience for the one who dies, the one who does the killing, and all the others who are affected by it - either directly or indirectly (such as my reaction when I hear about people commiting violent acts of murder). We are all connected, and we all need to have the experiences we are meant to have. For some, that might be what I consider a horrific experience, but it is what was meant to be...

And then, argh... sometimes it's really hard to resolve all of that together. It's like two people living inside one body sometimes. The one living the life, and the one who understands the greater scope of things.

Some people, especially those who do the Live Journal blogs, have a little icon and a "current mood" spot. I guess you could say that my current mood is "conflicted" as I try to hash out where exactly I really stand on such things. It's "all good" to take the "it's all good" approach on a spiritual level, but I just can't ignore the feelings I am here to have during this lifetime, and those tell me that it is not "all good".

In the end, I go with my gut feeling. And that means that some things, like the taking of another's life, are just plain wrong. It's what I'm meant to feel, so it's what I'm going with, barring any incident that might change that opinion along the way.

However, I do believe that we need harsher punishments for crimes in general. We need more cut-and-dry laws that don't have all the loopholes that let some criminals slide while innocent people end up behind bars. And we need to put our collective feet down when a criminal is convicted. Some days I think we need to step back to some of the harsher penalties of the past. Then again, I know I'd have a hard time carrying out those sentences myself, so asking someone else to would be hard.

There's so much that is so wrong with how it all works right now. Society, law, government, business, morality... it's all a mess at the moment. Short of a huge disaster to wipe the slate clean, so to speak, I don't know what will really fix it in the end. We are not so much an evolved people as we like to think we are.

Okay. I've rambled enough. Much more than I usually do on any given Sunday night.

G'night.

The Mall.

Yes, that's right folks. I tried, I really, really did. But, as always, Christmas shopping took me to The Mall again this year.

Oh, the horror. The music, the mayhem, the madness...

By the end of tonight, however, I should have 90% of my Christmas shopping done, however. This is a serious record for me.

We also did some clothing shopping for me this year too. I have a new winter coat, which I desperately needed. It's warm and comfy and has lots of pockets and a big hood for when it's icky out, and I absolutely love it. And it's blue too! I love blue. It's my very favorite color lately. It used to be green, but a couple years ago I decided I had overdone the "green" thing. Also, since I started adding red highlights to my hair, I don't look as good in green... heh.

I also got some clothes to wear for the Christmas party we'll be going to next Friday for Brian's work. I want to look really good when I meet these co-workers of his. I had wanted a dress, but couldn't find one that fit me right and I liked, so I settled for some pants and a jacket and a couple of little shirts for under the jacket. I can mix and match with a couple things I already own, so I should get plenty of use out of the stuff over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as well. I wanted to step out of my "safe zone" and do some brighter colors and spice things up a bit, but in the end I still came home with solids that I can mix and match safely. Oh, well. Maybe next year I'll jump into the deep end. You never know.

As was the case last year, our son was a saint. He wasn't happy at the mall, and hadn't had a nap, but overall he still smiled at people and behaved like the wonderful little boy I love so very much! I am amazed by him daily. Wow. We spent most of today shopping at stores and then went to the mall, and he somehow was a good little boy through it all. I say again - wow!

And he's about to go to bed now, so I have to go tuck him in. Perhaps I'll write more on our adventures today at another time. Perhaps not, if other adventures take priority. We shall see.

G'night!

Would you like some 'God' with that?

We have this little "snow village" thing that we put up each year. I got it as a gift one year from my ex-stepfather just after they divorced and I've kept it as it's pretty. It has four ceramic buildings and some trees. There's a bakery, a toy store, a candy shop, and a church. Also, one of the trees has "lights" on it and lights up when the thing is plugged in. There are lights inside the shops and church as well, and the ones in the shops turn on and off. The whole thing also has a wind-up music box thingy in the bottom too, that plays a christmas carol - although I forget which one it plays.

We were noticing that the church doesn't turn on and off with the other lights. It stays lit all the time. And then, it was jokingly said, that it had all the elements of "Christmas" on it... toys, sugar, consumerism, god...

Then, suddenly, the title of this blog popped into my head and I said it. Brian said it sounded like a blog title. I agreed, but didn't know what the topic would be under it, so I figured I'd just explain the path that got me there.

I don't know, but I envisioned this church where you could order your communion or whatever at the one spot, pull up to "donate" at the first window, and then receive communion (or whatever service you required) at the second window.

Mind you, there are drive-up chapels in Vegas... which makes me wonder if they offer more than just weddings there? That's not a part of Las Vegas I specifically checked out while I was there. We actually spent little time in the more "touristy" spots until other relatives joined us there and we all checked out the hotels on the strip together.

See how oddly my mind can take one little thing and warp it off into an entirely different tangent of thought? Eeesh.

Now I'm busy missing the climate out in Nevada. The damned weather here hasn't made up its mind yet and keeps doing that raining thing. Which, while absolutely pretty and fun to play in, is absolute hell on my sinuses. And right now it's cold rain too, which is no fun to play in at all.

I gotta get me some desert one of these days. Mmmm yeah.

But, for now, it's Friday night and I've got funner things to do than blog. So, it's off to tuck the little one into bed and then spend some quality time with some ice cream and my husband while we try and relax the weekly woes away. Mmmm.

I hope it works. For tomorrow... we Christmas shop.

*shudder*

G'night!

Budget, shmudget...

It is December 9th and I have more than half my Christmas shopping done. This is an unprecedented thing. I am hoping to get it to a "nearly done" point by the end of the weekend, although there are two people who I haven't a clue what to buy for yet, so I'll have no choice but to wait a bit on those. I plan to order gifts for my son, Jareth, online either tonight or tomorrow. Last night I ordered him a new coat, but that's just something he needs, not specifically a Christmas gift.

The real question is... will I still be up late two nights before Christmas doing the wrapping again this year or will I actually get my butt in gear once the packages start arriving? I have all these pretty little parcels that will be showing up on my doorstep with fun things in them that we plan to give to people this year.

Oh man, do I love the internet! I may, just maybe, be able to avoid the mall (insert ominous music here) this year after all! If so, I may be merry indeed!

And I've even managed to almost stick to the budgets... almost. Yeah, I know. I'm not so good with budgets when it comes to gifts for people. I get within five dollars of the set amount and then see something that I just have, to add to the pile! Every year there is at least one person I go over budget on.

Does shipping count in the budget anyway? If not, then maybe I've stayed closer than I thought...

Meh... whatever. Budget, shmudget. I think I've stayed closer to it than I usually do, so it's really a step in the right direction for me.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm pooped out from running non-Christmas errands today and may turn in early as it is. My son, on the other hand, is headed to bed now, so I need to go help tuck him in!

G'night!

Hey! Happy Hanukkah!

I know I'm not Jewish, but that doesn't have to stop me from wishing others well on their holiday. Have a wonderful eight days, folks! I hope the candles burn brightly!

Which reminds me, it's time to order the next edition of my Multicultural Calendar. It was very cool to have this year, and I encourage others to pick up a copy. The short descriptions for each holiday make it both interesting and handy to have around. There's a lot of thought that went into the artwork in it as well.

It's been an odd and chaotic day. I was up late last night doing some online Christmas shopping, which I continued working on today. I also have a new pillow in my bed, which left me sleeping at an odd angle during the night I guess, as I woke up late and with a slightly sore throat and a headache. I'm thinking it's just me needing to break in the pillow some, and that it's unlikely I'm coming down with something. Time will tell.

Anyway, I've still got stuff to do tonight before my day is done, so I'll just leave this as a short one tonight.

G'night!

And now,

Would you rather:
1. be best friends with screech from "saved by the bell" OR urkel from "family matters"?
I think I know who the Urkel guy is, so I'll take the other one, purely out of ignorance. *shudders*
2. discover a rare new mineral on your property OR a species of animal once thought extinct?
A rare new mineral. I think I could make some big bucks off of that, and I also wouldn't accidentally hit it with the car or something horrible and ruin everything. heh. Not that I'm prone to hitting things with my car, but that would be the point it would happen - Murphy's Law.
3. fart everytime you sneeze OR everytime you hiccup?
Sneeze. Then it's an outward push both ways. Less stress on the body that way. The other one would likely prove more painful.
4. get scammed by one of those nigerian bank account spams OR by a pyramid scheme?
I'm not familiar with the bank account thing, but I'd still say pyramid. You can usually bail early on those, so I'd probably lose less money overall.

That's all for now!

G'night!

More on Christmas...

...I agree on exploring the different religions. We do want him to know about them, and will end up doing a lot of research probably over the years to check out the traditions of other cultures as well. I want him to have a broad pool of information to draw on when it comes time for him to make his own choices on what he believes.

The holiday memories from my own family aren't as nice. Sometimes I think my family managed to pervert everything they touched, and I am attempting to end that cycle here and now. For one thing, my grandmother tended to "buy love". Around Christmas I tend to wear myself out trying desperately to find the "perfect gifts" despite the budgets, as my family somehow managed to decide each year just how much love is "worth" monetarily. So there's a tradition that needs to end for me somehow. Every year I find myself in a store, miserable because I usually can't possibly spend the kind of money to get the gift I really want to give the person I'm shopping for, and I settle for something I can only hope they will really like. I think last year I just gave up, threw in the towel, stuck to the budget (mostly) and bought most items directly off the gift lists. People got what they wanted, but it didn't feel as special. Mind you, I was also dragging an infant through the stores last year, which added to the reason why I threw in the towel.

Also, for Thanksgiving and Christmas, was the dinners. In my family there was almost always someone that got angry with someone else and an argument of some sort would ensue. If it didn't start then, it would brew for a few days and then drag on for a week of angry phone calls instead. Usually it was between my mother and my grandmother. It probably had something to do with money too, as my mom was always broke and my grandmother frequently gave her money around the holidays so she could afford to buy me Christmas gifts. Which left my mother "indebted" for the holidays. She didn't owe them the money back, but she owed my grandmother love. In whatever fashion my grandmother decided she should show it. My grandfather somehow managed to keep the whole family from killing each other - how, is beyond me. The man was either a saint or too cowardly to bail. I like to think of him more as a saint.

Around easter, we had spring clothes, and my birthday too - more money needed there. So you can add another spoiled holiday. I have a vague memory long, long ago of my mom and I dying eggs. I want to try that with Jareth some time. I seem to remember it being really fun. It also makes for egg salad sandwiches if you keep them in the fridge instead of hiding them. The plastic ones are for hiding. I like the egg hunt thing, and the basket is fun too. But it's more likely we'll just add that to our spring "Oestra" celebration, about fertility. That's where most of that stuff comes from anyway, according to Brian. The bunnies, eggs and birds all migrated to easter from there.

We're thinking more of celebrating the changing of the seasons, the movement of the journey through life. The days growing shorter or longer. Spring and fertility. The bringing in of the harvest (figuratively speaking, although maybe not always - we could always go watch someone harvest corn around here). The coming of winter. We want Jareth to be aware of the traditions from others, and may choose to incorporate some of them, but not all. We may discard some of the ones of our past. We're discussing it at length and making choices and compromises to hopefully incorporate what we both want "Christmas" to be for us next year.

It's complicated. I both want to purge the bad things that tainted holidays for me growing up, yet preserve the good things that Brian had and the few good things I remember. But I also want to be able to explain *why* we do the things we do at Christmastime. Why we put up the tree. Why we buy each other gifts. I want there to be meaning in it for him. It was a facade in my family. We all pretended it meant something special, but really it was just another instance where one person could try and manipulate control over another. I get very cynical and unhappy around the holiday season. Until the Christmas morning Brian officially proposed to me, Christmas wasn't something to look forward to. It was something to just get through. I don't want the holidays to be like that anymore. So we're gonna try and fix it so that we know why we do it, and what it means to us. We're just making it extra special.

As a final note: the reply my sister-in-law sent back was thoughtful and touching. I got all weepy just reading it, and have been at a loss for words to send back to her yet.

Magic, and the meaning of Christmas...

One of the big "discussions" going on in our household is the "what do we tell Jareth about "Christmas" and what it means to us" discussion. It's becoming more and more clear that neither of us is entirely sure what we're going to be able to agree on. We had this discussion a couple of times, even before I was pregnant, and we always ended it by putting it off as something we could decide later on. Well this year we're still technically off the hook, but we're working on the answers now, while we're thinking about it, because next year he's going to want those answers.

The conundrum begins. Neither of us really buys into the "Jesus is our Savior" thing, see. I'm not denying that he was a guy with a lot of good things to say, but *I* didn't commit the sins he supposedly died for. My personal opinion is that the guy had some moments of clarity and a rough time trying to explain what he felt was an important thing to a bunch of people who didn't quite get it. I feel there's a lot of flaws and missing information that we just don't have the answers to for the whole story on the guy, including his birth. There's some very nice songs and a lot of good moral code that has come out of it all, but I'm afraid I can't just take the "written word" on faith. I make too many typos on my own to trust that those old priests got it all down exactly as it happens, and didn't spice things up a little to make people more interested.

Besides, since my own little moments of clarity, I have this greater scope on things that makes Christmas and religion overall seem small and unecessary on the overal scope of things. Time is passing (relatively speaking) and we have reached the end of another year. Should we celebrate this more than we should celebrate each day of learning, growth, and experience? When I've stepped back, into my "infinite soul self", the seasons passing means nothing more than a changing of experiences... Thus, celebrating winter solstice becomes a close possibility, reflecting only the passing of time. But, technically, time doesn't actually pass us. We are time. We always have been. We always will be.

Oooch. Wrap your mind around it a while. It might give you a headache too. Time travel isn't impossible because of the speed of light, or theory of relativity, or some other what-not. Time travel isn't possible because we disallowed it for ourselves. Because we cannot truely experience this mortal life if we can pop all over it, bumping into ourselves and mucking it all up. Just like a computer program needs rules to tell it when to stop compiling and calculating, we placed boundries on this life. We need to not know everything. Part of this journey is the wondering.

But, back to the point. Christmas. So it's not a quite a solstice thing, and celebrating Jesus' birthday - well he made an impact, like Martin Luther King, so a holiday for him isn't unacceptable in a "day off work to remember a great guy" kind of way, but why is it that I should be giving people gifts on that day then?

Ahhh, yes. Santa. Now there's the real dilemma. What do we tell the kid about Santa too? After all, all the other kids are doing it...

I don't want to lie to my kid, okay? I don't want to feed him some line of crap about some fat, fuzzy man dressed in red stealing into our house to leave him presents. I will not bribe my child to be good by promising him more presents from said Santa either. These gifts that will be sitting under our tree for him on Christmas morning are meant to be more special than that. They will be given in love, from us, not some made-up stranger.

I also, under no circumstances, want my son to have to go through that crushing feeling that I had when I discovered there was no Santa. My mom rambled out some line about giving and the spirit of Christmas and all, but it was as if someone had squeezed all the magic out of the world! Suddenly there were no flying reindeer or elves! And the tooth fairy didn't exist either? The world was suddenly such a mundane place... I still want the magic back. I want to feel the wings in my back again, and soar the skies with dragons and fairies playing at my side. I want to sing with the angels again. I want it back, but I'm a "grown-up" now. Something was lost, and I'm pretty sure it began that day, when some kid on the winter playground told me that their mom had told them Santa wasn't real. I nearly peed in my snowpants I was so upset. Even worse - my mom had lied. *I* had been taught to never lie, it was a bad bad thing to do! How could she betray me like that?!

So this year, we will likely be looking up stories about those who started the "Santa Clause" stories. Maybe we can tell those to Jareth instead.

Last year I read "T'was the Night Before Christmas" to my son on Christmas eve, like my mom had done when I was a child. It was tradition, and I wanted to continue some of my own family traditions with my son. Now I'm not so sure about that one. Time is running out to decide too.

I want him to understand the "spirit" of Christmas. Where did this tradition of giving presents to each other originate exactly? What about the tree? The lights? I have a lot of questions that I need to find the answers for before a little voice begins to ask them.

But I also want to be careful to make sure that the magic stays. He's got it now, I saw it in his eyes when he saw the decorated Christmas tree, all lit and glittering. I want him to be able to keep that magic longer than I did, without having to lie to him about the world in the process.

Damn. This parenting thing can be pretty rough sometimes.

G'night!

As the Week Ends...

Another Sunday.

Another end of the week.

Another list of things remaining to do during the next.

I remain confident that December is the busiest month of the year.

It's only the 5th, and yet I'm already tired.

And I'm waiting for something. I'm just not entirely sure what.

I'll know when I see it.

Maybe.

G'night.

'Tis the Season...

I am pooped. Tired. Tuckered. Perhaps even "shattered" - a term a british friend I had once used.

"So, what have you been doing all day?" one might ask.

Behold...

Yep. Today we decorated. My husband (who will likely blog about today as well) decorated the outside of the house while I got the tree up and got lights and garland on it. Mind you, in the process, he went to the store for me no less than three times! First we needed new lights - we'd agreed last year to replace them and hadn't bought them yet. Then we needed more lights, as we underestimated how many strands it would take to cover the tree adequately. Then we needed more garland, as they had run out of it last year (it's cool looking up close - maroon and gold stuff), so last year's tree had looked odd. He bought them out again this year - Technically I still could use another one or two strands, but I left it off areas in the lower back of the tree where nobody will see it for now.

With him running out to the store every other half hour it seemed, things didn't exactly go as I had planned for them to this year. It was, however, better than years in the past. I don't know what it is about Christmas decorating, but Brian hasn't been too overly excited about it, and I've always felt disappointed that it wasn't a more "togetherness" thing, but just seemed like a hassle. This year Brian seemed ready to take it all in and enjoy it with me, but he took on the arduous task of running back and forth to the store, which kind of spoiled some of it.

Next year we'll have all the stuff we need, finally, so it ought to be great!

So now the stocking are hung, although we don't have a chimney so they hang off the railing on the stairs instead, the tree is up, and there are other assorted decorations scattered throughout the house.

And maybe, just maybe we'll even have someone over this month to see it. Tomorrow and the next Sunday our usual Sunday "dinner with the folks" is at their place instead of ours, but the following one should be here. It had better be, anyway, since the one after that is Christmas.

Damn. I'm running out of shopping time already, and I need to get the newsletter together. Argh.

December is definitely the busiest month of the year.

But at least it's starting to feel like Christmas around here!

G'night!

Temporary Measures...

Well, for the moment, Wordpress seems to be beyond my abilities within the current time constraints. Which means I just don't have enough time to muck around trying to make it all work with an interface that doesn't work with Opera, so I'm putting it all on the back burner until at least January, when I've got some time. I did a re-direct on my domain name, so that www.rayndragon.com is actually directing here instead of a message with a link here. I also have started battling the evil spam monsters in MT for the moment, although I'm having trouble getting mt-blacklist installed. I keep getting error messages even though I think I've dotted all my 't's and crossed all my... errr... you know what I mean.

I think my redirect has mucked up the ability to get to the new dragonbytes site for the moment too, so if I have any updates there I'll just save them until I get it all sorted out probably.

In the meantime, tomorrow we decorate for Christmas. I have a strange feeling it might involve a run to the store, as I think we decided last year that we were going to replace the lights on the tree this year. Last year we replaced the whole darn tree! And the garland and angel at the top. We now do a star, which is really more appropriate than the old tattered angel my mother always put atop the tree. I'm still saving that angel though - my sister might want it one day, or I might want to show it to Jareth one day so he can see what was atop my Christmas tree when I was a child.

There's a lot of other stuff, however, that requires chucking out into the trash. We shall see what becomes of the decorations this year.

That's all for now. It's a Friday night, and Brian and I are just about to put Jareth to bed. And then I've got far better things to do than blog...

*wink*

G'night!

One whole year!

Wow! Today is the anniversary of my first whole year of blogging. Does that mean I have an online "presence" now?

Nah. More likely I just can't seem to keep my thoughts to myself is all.

I thought about putting up a picture of myself. I even went in and took a few in the mirror, but they all turned out crappy. I can't seem to get a picture I like lately. I have to be brave and not crop myself out of the one we took for the yearly newsletter...

So, instead... I give you recycled cake:

Actually, that's one of the cakes I made for my son for his birthday, but my blog didn't give me a birthday wish list, so this is the best it gets.

*grin*

Yeah, I know, I could have at least lit the candle.

I wonder what all I'll write in here over the next year, and how it will differ from the last?

I guess that's a question to ponder a year from now.

G'night!

Sometimes it's the simplest things...

Sometimes the simplest items can suddenly become toys in the hands of a child. I was far too busy watching and enjoying to risk missing anything by running for the camera this evening though. My son got ahold of a camoflauge army had that my husband has on his side of the bed...

Okay, actually I pulled it out and handed it to him, but hey...

*grin*

He liked to pull the brim sideways though, it looked very cute all cockeyed on him. I also showed him a back massager thing - a wooden half circle thingy with wheels on either end - it rolls great on our headboard. He's finally at that stage where toy vehicles are getting rolled around on the floor, and the massager will probably get more use as a child's toy in our bedroom than it has ever gotten as a massager!

We keep this three-page coupon and info sheet for a particular cat food sitting on the headboard as his personal "book" too. It was lying about and he took interest in it a while back, so he likes to "read" it whenever he's visiting in our bedroom.

Today, I also showed him the small flashlight I keep on my side of the bed. Oh, boy was that a treat! He kept trying to look inside to see how it works, but then it was bright and he'd make such a face - all squinty and surprised - whenever he pointed it right at himself to see the bulb in it. He also enjoyed watching the light as I played it on the walls and ceiling too! He even recognized when my "shadow hand" waved at him, and he waved back at it up on the ceiling.

We must have spent close to an hour just lounging about on our bed with him this evening. We will sometimes hang out in there for a little while in the mornings on the weekends, and in the evenings we'll sometimes follow Brian up when he goes to change from his work clothes to comfy clothes. One of the last times we were in there, he discovered that he can turn the two lamps that sit on our headboard on and off. They have the older key-style knobs that make it easy for him to get ahold of. He gets a great kick out of making things work, and lights are an easy, obvious show of success.

He also has figured out that the alarm clocks are what make the beep beep beep beep noise, even though we haven't specifically shown him. I did forget to turn it off one morning and went in there while he was in my arms, so he's only had that one instance of seeing the clock in direct relation to the beeping noise. The noise, however, he ought to be fairly familiar with, and he does a pretty decent rendition. I tend to snooze my alarm clock far too often still.

How is it possible that my kid just keeps on getting cuter and more fun?

Wow.

I am so digging this "mommy" thing. Oh yeah! And the good parts definitely overbalance the poopy diapers. Although (*knocks on wood*) I've gotten very lucky in that he hasn't really had any bad sicknesses. With the exception of s