DragonBlog

Praying to the Porcelain Gods...

Wondering why I didn't blog last night? Ah, yes... free games jar

So, after we had safely tucked our son into bed, we began indulging in a couple of drinks. I think it's when the drinks turned into shots of hard liquor that things slipped some. Or, perhaps, because I let (okay, actually I asked) Brian make the drinks. And he made them rather potent. And I also drank them a bit more quickly than I probably ought.free games jar

Oh, it was fun for a while. Fun enough that I realized I should definitely not be blogging in such a state. Who knows what all I might have said. I really didn't want to wake up to find a play-by-play of the evenings "interactions" lined up in poorly spelled sentences on the front page of my web site. That would be bad. There are just certain lines I draw about what I blog here. Some parts of my life are meant to be kept behind closed doors. What I do with my husband when I've had far too much to drink definitely qualifies.free games jar

I just have to remember to break the diet a bit if I'm going to do that again. I hadn't eaten enough food either and the alcohol hit my stomach like a lead brick. A lead brick that bounces when it hits bottom, flying right back up and out of where it had fallen to, however. First into the nearest trash bin I could get my hands on and then later into the toilet. I so love renting alcohol for the evening. *grumble, grumble*free games jar

And then, there's the embarassing aspect when you have to ask your husband what exactly you did do the night before because it's all just a little fuzzy. Okay, a lot fuzzy. Yeah. *cough*free games jar

Anyway, the rest of the day was much calmer by comparison. First was Kid Rock, for which we were running late. It was low attendance again, Jareth making the fifth kid there out of a class that's supposed to have 12 in it. It was a rare occasion - we skewed the ratio so that there were actually more boys than girls out of the kids there. Usually the boys are woefully outnumbered in the classes.free games jar

After that we picked up RainMoon and headed out for the Long Grove Chocolate Festival. Mmmmmmm, chocolate! Overall it was fun, although a little old for Jareth to really enjoy yet. There were a couple of instances where I was frustrated by the general rudeness of people around me - one when the guy at the winery seemed entirely uninterested in helping me, another when some jerk walked up and stood right in front of my son's stroller when he was happily trying to watch the ponies (I didn't try to let him ride one yet as he's still a bit little for that), and one when some mother blatantly watched as her child stood kicking dirt directly at mine! How is it that people can be so oblivious to common courtesy or at least having a little respect for others these day? I didn't catch the last one right away as I was trying to find out if the "kids activity" was anything Jareth could do at that tent, so RainMoon intervened by planting herself in-between the other kid and Jareth, to block the cloud of flying dirt from hitting him.free games jar

At least it wasn't overly crowded there. I get tense in crowds generally. I was a bit annoyed at how most of the stores had "no strollers" signs up that kept me out. We spent some time wondering what the heck they do for wheelchairs, and the only answer I really came up with was that those stores just lose that potential business. The festival was very sponsor-heavy and shopping-oriented and they really had less fun chocolate samples than I had expected. When I asked about the sample of the raspberry wine at the wine shop (there were signs all over the place suggesting I try one) the guy handed me some in a glass and acted surprised I wanted to try it at all - the other guy that was shopping in the store, however, got the full treatment with the chocolate cup that the signs kept mentioning was part of the sample. I didn't think I was dressed poorly or anything, but aparently he didn't think I was worth his attention. It actually took some waiting just to get him to ring up the item I wanted to buy. If I hadn't wanted it so badly I would have walked out. A shame, really.free games jar

Anyway. I wasn't intending on turning the bit about yesterday's festival into a rant, but that's how it fell onto the page. Oh well. Perhaps I'll write something cheerier tomorrow. And, I think tonight I'll be staying sober. Quite sober indeed.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Whirlwind of a day...

So much to say today, but so little brain left with which to do it. It's been one of those whirlwind sort of days, running all over the place.free games jar

First, it was off to Jareth's class after barely managing to roll myself out of bed in time to give him breakfast and get myself looking (hopefully) as if I hadn't just rolled myself out of bed. I cheated and gave the poor kid one of my cereal bars that I've had. I'm not going to eat them anyway - I've been doing slimfast shakes for breakfast instead lately.free games jar

The gymnastics class is definitely going a whole lot better than Kid Rock is. In fact I'm dreading Kid Rock tomorrow morning, whereas I was excited to get him to the gymnastics one today. He's learning to climb stuff and seems to enjoy it more and more each time we go. He even said hi to one of the girls his own age today, which is a big thing for him. He usually seems to prefer the company of grown-ups over the kids his own age - something I'm hoping will change as he grows and has more and more exposure to them. I don't want him to stop liking grown-ups, mind you. I just want him to know how to interact with his peers properly. Especially if we do go through with the homeschooling.free games jar

He also seems to be developing well in coordination. I'm holding him the whole time, but he already has figured out to start putting one foot out in front of the other on the low balance beam stuff we've been working on. We still have quite a ways to go on jumping and tumbling though. Climbing is good. He's really been getting a kick out of that.free games jar

I cheated some today though. I knew we'd be going out tonight with him so I wore him out to make sure he took some nap at naptime. I made him walk into class with me from the car (and I did not get there early enough to get a close spot either) and then also made him walk back, whereas I usually carry him for at least one of the trips. After class we returned the dvds from earlier this week and stopped for some groceries. Then there was lunch while I put all the groceries away. After that, however, I decided to give him some time outside. He can say the word "outside" but it seems we never get the chance to actually go there. So we went out into the back yard where he ran around for awhile on the patio and grass. I can tell he's learning in gymnastics class as he was able to figure out how to climb up onto the patio chairs and get back down without my help! He generally has to have help getting up, and it is a recent thing that he can get down by himself. He also seemed to master getting on and off his riding toys today too.free games jar

Then we had a meetup tonight where we met another couple that enjoys some simlar interests to us - roleplaying. As always, let me clarify - get your dirty mind back out of the gutter and think of pens, paper, books and dice please. Thank you. Good clean fun. No... not satanic either. In fact we're usually imagining we're the good guys who kick the butts of the bad demons or whatever other bad guys the gamesmaster can think up to throw at us. Think Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Okay, with less "cheerleader" and more... well, robotics in this case since we're looking at starting up a Shadowrun campaign. Think Johnny Mnemonic. And cross that with a few other movies I'm feeling too lazy to link.free games jar

Yeah. Anyway. Looks like we'll start the session up the weekend after we get back from our vacation. That ought to be a blast.free games jar

Egads. I'm being so... social lately. Maybe I ought to see someone about that? *shakes head* Nahhh.free games jar

Tomorrow though? Chocolate! Yeah!free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Preparing for the beach...

So, this evening we went shopping for swimsuits so that we have something to wear next month when we go on vacation. Let's just say that I'm really glad that's over. Shopping is not my forte. Swimsuits are not my forte. Combine the two and you've got a recipe for frustration and depression combined into one.free games jar

The suit in question is one that I might not have normally picked to look at it on the hanger. But, I've long since learned that what looks good on the hanger or the 20-something, size 4 model in the catalog for that matter, is not remotely something that will look good on me. In fact, when it comes to swimsuits, I generally try for something that doesn't look bad on me, rather than getting my hopes dashed by looking for something that I'd expect to actually look good.free games jar

*sigh*free games jar

So I settled for the suit that Brian liked. Because if he likes it on me, then I won't hate it. I'll still try not to look at myself in the mirror while I'm wearing it, mind you. But fortunately ocean waves don't stay still long enough to let me see my reflection.free games jar

I also got one of those long, white beach cover-up shirts to wear too.free games jar

Note to self - sunscreen. You never remember to bring it. You always get burnt as a result. Try this time. Try really, really hard. Get some damned sunscreen already. There's got to be some non-oily ones on the market somewhere.free games jar

P.S. - And remember to have Brian apply the sunscreen. I mean, c'mon, it's your anniversary vacation - duh!free games jar

Now, somewhere in the midst of all this web design stuff and the preparations for Jareth's upcoming birthday party, I need to make myself a packing list. And one for Jareth too, since he'll be spending the time with Brian's folks.free games jar

Oh - and, in case you haven't figured it out yet, I probably won't be blogging while I'm gone. I might write some stuff to put up when I get back, but I don't know if we're even bringing the laptop with. I think there was something about the hotel offering wireless internet connections, but we don't have that capability on our laptop.free games jar

Anyway, that's all the rambling for tonight.free games jar

G'night.free games jar

And now, Or not...

Well, based on the fact that I couldn't get through to the web site just now, I guess that Tuesday is, in fact, not Chooseday this time. Maybe that's what I get for waiting until this late in the evening, or maybe it's just offline today. Either way, it's unlikely I'll be messing around with it later so I'll just have to skip it this week.free games jar

Of course, I was expecting to do it, so I haven't really thought much on what I want to blog today instead. Perhaps I should ramble on about the preconceived horrors that tomorrow will bring, as tomorrow evening we will likely go and look for a new swim suit for not-so-little ole' me. They make wonderful swimsuits - if you're a size 6 or less. Let's just say I'm not a size 6 and leave it at that, shall we? I think the diet is working some, but I don't think I have a prayer in hell of getting that slim in time for the beach. If I get that slim (or even close) sometime this summer I can always reward myself by purchasing another suit then. In the meantime, I need one that fits me now, and hopefully does some measure of making me look good while it's at it. Either way, it's unlikely I'll be rushing home after vacation to show off pictures of myself on the beach. Pretty damned unlikely indeed. I'm betting on nice pictures of scenery and some great shots of Brian instead.free games jar

But, until shopping occurs, most of my hours are still spent staring at the screen here. I have stopped for another movie tonight, and I might even be able to allow myself some time for my friend RainMoon to come over tomorrow if I can get far enough along. I haven't decided if I'm going to get back to work tonight after my guys are in bed, or if I'll quit and relax for a while. I may turn in early tonight. Not sure.free games jar

Well, 'cause you know I live by the seat of my pants here, right?free games jar

*listens to the eyes rolling*free games jar

Alright... so much for sarcasm. Nevermind. See what happens when I don't have my usual meme to fall back on? *sigh*free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Searching for Balance

I have to find it interesting. Truely ironic, really. It doesn't seem that long ago that Brian and I had the conversation - less than a year ago actually - where I said that I was no longer going to be doing much in the way of "work" because I was already working full-time as a stay-at-home mom. I was learning to embrace the housework as something I had to do as part of my "job" that allowed me to stay home and spend so much time with my son. We discussed it and agreed on it. I left my professional web site up to collect dust because I was using the e-mail address that was with it for the bit of work I was still getting from a client I was doing administrative assistant work for. I would set up a monthly report into an easy-to-read spreadsheet for him, but that was basically the bulk of what he was still sending me.free games jar

Then Brian was laid off and everything changed. Dramatically. I even took a month-long temporary assignment. My resume is still floating around out there although I'm quite sure I'm at the bottom of most of the queues by now as I've not updated it. And now, I find myself repositioned again and now doing web design for people. After throwing myself into the "mommy scene" with meetups and kid classes, adding all this web design is having me burn the candle at both ends. No, actually... more like just taking the whole candle and tossing it on the fire some days. Because time slips away from me while I'm looking at HTML and other such stuff. And the next thing I know, Brian gets home from work and has to peel me away from my desk when it seems like I only just put my son down for his nap. Or I start working on more stuff after everyone goes to bed and suddenly I look up and realize that four hours have gone by and it's two in the morning!free games jar

It's not that I don't enjoy it. I do. I really, really do enjoy doing the web sites. There's something about getting it all to work that gives me a rush. Especially if I can do it with clean, streamlined code. I love seeing it fall neatly together. And I love throwing graphics around and making fun, new looks for stuff too. I think it's particularly ironic that I generally like the stuff I design for other people far, far better than anything I ever design for myself. LOL. That figures.free games jar

It's just that it requires concentration for some of it. And it's tricky to concentrate with the sounds of...

Computer: *quack-quack*
Computer: "Duck"
Jareth: "Duck"
*clickety-click, typety-type*
Computer: *quack-quack*
Computer: "Duck"
Jareth: "Duck"
*insert another minute of similar repetition with other animals before he comes over to see what's on my screen instead*
Jareth: "mommy!"

Most of that will be followed up with a few minutes of him sitting in my lap. His new thing lately is *kissing*, which he is awfully cute at. He sometimes is content to sit and watch whatever is happening on my screen - which is fine if all I need to do at the time is point and click, but impairs my typing abilities considerably. Often, however, he's busy pointing at things around me and wanting me to tell him the names of everything.free games jar

Then we go through the round of him bringing me his toys to either name or play with. He has this assumption that I will find every toy of his equally as enjoyable as he does. Which *cough*, of course, is true... *long suffering sigh* He's also too cute for my own good. Too, too cute indeed.free games jar

I am extremely not capable of giving my kid the brush-off. Which means it's really good that when I'm quoting jobs I haven't taken on yet, I'm quoting "billed time" vs. "actual time" as two entirely different things. Because 12-15 hours for a job doesn't mean a couple of days. Not remotely.free games jar

It's not that I'm biting off more than I can chew these days, it's that I'm biting off more than I'm accustomed to chewing. And other things, like housework and remodelling, are getting left by the wayside for the moment to make room. Because I'm far more willing to let the dust pile up than I am to ignore my kid. He is still my first priority.free games jar

But I'm just a little stressed right now, trying to work out balancing this new supermomesque routine. So I'm really glad we're going on vacation next month. Really, really, glad. I've cleared the calendar. I'm letting people know. I am so going to relax my butt off. *grin*free games jar

In the meantime, we've rented a movie tonight so I can blink at a screen that's farther away from my face for a while. Now that Jareth's in bed, we're free to go back to it. We sort of took an intermission for bedtime and blog.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Sunday...

I need a meme for Sundays. I never know what to write. It's the end of a week (just because my calendar tries to tell me it's the first day of the week, I've always felt it's really Monday that the new week starts on) and I'm often left thinking plenty of things in my head that never make it down on the blog. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Sunday was always a bummer growing up...free games jar

Sunday was Laundry Day.
Sunday was Garbage Day.
Sunday was Cleaning Day.
Sunday was Mow the Lawn Day.free games jar

Sunday kinda used to suck for me, since I was the one doing all those chores. I'd like to know how a family of three managed to generate five to six loads of laundry per week now that I'm the one in charge of housework. Mine usually generates three to four. The yard seemed huge to the one mowing it. The driveway seemed huge too when it came time to shovel it off. And perfection was usually demanded in all cases.free games jar

So, once again, I don't know what to write today. It's not that it was a bad day. It was just a Sunday. Had the family over. It was all cool. We ate, we watched a dvd, we chatted, we played with my little boy who laughed and giggled.free games jar

It's all good.free games jar

But, somehow, it's still a Sunday. *shrug*free games jar

G'night.free games jar

Sin City and Socializing...

Thanks to my friend RainMoon today, Brian and I had the chance to get out and see a movie. Usually we ask Brian's mom to watch Jareth for us, but we sometimes forget that we need the occasional time to go out and just be grown-ups together for a while. More often we save "grown-up time" for after Jareth goes to bed and if it involves a movie it's a rental that just has violence so we don't want our kid watching it yet. LOL. I guess we are getting old.free games jar

But RainMoon offered to watch Jareth for a couple of hours so we could get out and actually see a movie and we decided to take her up on it. We headed out and saw Sin City at one of the local theatres that we prefer. We'll go the 10 minutes out of our way for the better seating and bigger screen than the one two minutes from our house sometimes. Mostly, though, it depends on which movie we were seeing. We kind of figured this one was one that warranted the special attention.free games jar

What an interesting film. Definitely based off graphic novels. You can tell. It has the feel of a graphic novel brought to life on film. As a concept piece it was done astoundingly. The cinematography was wonderful! And I was amazed that such dialogue could actually find a place within the film industry. It was a bit of script that had to be done just right, and I think that they did a supurb job of it. From a film-making standpoint I have to give it many, many stars...free games jar

On the other hand, it was very violent and filled with gore. If you haven't read the graphic novels first (which I hadn't) you could easily be taken off guard by the movie. I'd almost suggest it come with a warning label of some sort if I weren't the type to normally roll my eyes at such things. I have to give them a lot of credit for the manner in which they handled the gore - very creatively and not always showing you quite what you were afraid you were about to see. There was a lot of artistry in how the movie was made and how the violence was handled in order to still make it into the regular theaters. Very impressive.free games jar

So, somehow, despite the women's overdrawn pouty lips, the trite dialogue, and the gatuitous violence.... somehow I still liked the film. I think. I'm not altogether sure. It left me with a slightly unsettled feeling. It seemed as if few of the actors were actually required to do a whole hell of a lot of acting - not because they weren't capable of it, but because they were just asked to strike certain poses and look good on film. Or to look beaten and bloody on film. Either way, it was a very visual piece. I don't expect to see any awards for "best actor" coming off this one, but it really does deserve something for the visual aspects. Then again, all the tits and ass probably didn't hurt their "visual" either. This movie was definitely made with men in mind.free games jar

And the moral of their story? Don't hurt women. Ever. I mean really. Because, in the town they portrayed - you'll really f*&%ing regret it if you do. To quote a couple of characters - "Eeeessh."free games jar

So - bottom line - if you're a guy who likes violent movies with a generous sprinkling of tits and ass sprinkled on top - you'll love this movie. If you're a woman who can stand some gore and likes the dark, brooding bad-guy-turned-hero storyline - you'll probably like this movie, especially if you can get past the tits and ass. If you're me - you don't give a damn about the tits and ass, you do like the dark, brooding sorts, but you find yourself a bit unsettled by the fact that the movie seems to go from one violent act to another with some rather overdramatic one-liner dialogue stuff in-between. There were a few funny bits scattered in there too. Maybe not as generously as the tits and ass, but hey - they were marketing to men here. That much was obvious. At least the cinematography was stunning. Wow.free games jar

Thus ends my latest movie review. Heh. I don't do them often, but this one felt like it needed talking about.free games jar

After that, we invited RainMoon's husband and daughter to come join us at our place for pizza and hang out for a while. We decided on our way back from the movie to actually do the "social" thing and ask them over instead of just hiding in our family room playing computer games or some other such usual non-social activity. It was cool having people over and just hanging out like that. I need to remind myself to do it more often. Sometimes I feel as if I have forgotten how to be social. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really knew how in the first place.free games jar

But now, off to bed. Tomorrow we'll be social with Brian's folks as we do Sunday dinner here. We're planning on popping in a dvd and kicking back. I may even serve dinner in the living room. I've got stuff to throw in the crock pot in the morning so that dinner will be pretty low-hassle around dinner time. But it means I have to get out of bed at a reasonable hour tomorrow too.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Being a "Mommy Pillow"

I am typing this slowly and quietly. There is a little boy sleeping sprawled upwards across my lap and chest, one arm dangling off of my own and the other resting on my heart. That arm is tucked in, the hand still partly clutching a toy car he was playing with before he dozed off. This is one of those precious moments. My cheek rests against his soft hair as I marvel that this beautiful little boy came from within me. I could never have imagined this so vividly as I feel it now...free games jar

Wow.free games jar

The world and work around me is forgotten for the moment. He is all there is. My little guy.free games jar

Climbing and Critters Day...

It seems as if they gymnastics class I've got Jareth in is going to be a good thing. It was still some work, but I did get him to do more of the "group activities" this week than last week. Even if it was only a small improvement, it's far more than I've seen from him in the Kid Rock class. He seems to be taking to climbing up onto the various levels of mats they have. He even tried walking on the balance beam (they have a big padded thing on some of them to make them wider) although I could tell he was a little worried to be on it. The have three, at varying levels to the ground. One is all but on the ground, one is a couple feet up, and the other one is such that when he was on it he had his hand on my shoulder (with an iron grip on my shirt even though I had my arm around him the whole time for that one). I can tell he's starting to see the other kids participating and the wheels are turning in that little head of his. He wants to try it all - he's just particular about when and how at the moment. But we're learning. Both of us. This is good.free games jar

Errands today yeilded a cute moment at the pet store as well. Whenever I take him there it's like a trip to the zoo - we check out all the animals they have. Today, while visiting the fish, he started mimicking the goldfish - opening and closing his mouth. It was adorable! He seemed particularly intrigued by the ferrets as well. Probably because the gal who worked there was feeding them at the time. She said they are very "messy" animals. Maybe we'll rule those out as future pets. Jareth also seemed to take a liking to the white rats too. Rats? Ummm... yeah. We all know how I feel about rats. Cute little mice maybe. But please no rats!free games jar

I just know we're going to end up having to get a dog one day. I love fuzzy critters but I've never quite been a dog person myself. Jareth, however, seems to be. He already knows how to say "puppy" and "woof". Then again, he "meow"s at the cats too - just like mommy does... *shrug*free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Vacation? VACATION !!!

It's official! Next month, instead of giving each other anniversary gifts, we are taking a vacation instead! It's all booked! Woohoo!!!free games jar

*dances around the room*free games jar

We leave Thursday, May 12th in the late afternoon and arrive back Monday, May 16th around 5pm-ish.free games jar

We're going to Florida for some oceanside beach!free games jar

Can I say it again?free games jar

BEACH !!! With OCEAN !!!free games jar

*bounces happily*free games jar

In case you couldn't tell, I'm a smidge excited. We haven't really been anywhere since our travels in the motorhome and I totally get wanderlusty if I stay still for too long.free games jar

And - for those who don't know - this will also be my VERY FIRST TIME on an airplane!free games jar

Yep. You heard right. I will no longer be the odd one out at the dinner table for having never "flown" anywhere before. LOL!free games jar

Okay, I'm going to go bask in my "happy cloud" for a while.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

And now,

Would you rather:
1. your ears be bleeding OR your eyes?
Ears. At least that way I could see to get to the damn doctor!!!
2. smell like vanilla cake frosting OR fresh-cut lime wedges?
Vanilla cake frosting. No contest. Because I know my husband likes vanilla. *big wicked grin*
3. get comments on your hair OR your smile?
Hair. When they comment on your smile, that's generally because they haven't got anything good to say...
4. have an addiction to coffee OR an addiction to bubble gum?
That depends... is it good coffee? Because coffee is a very particular thing... wait! Sounds like I'm addicted already!

My Son the Ham...

Today seems to have been "be outside" day. The weather was too good to pass up, for one, and the photographer who's web site I'm helping make some changes on did the photo session with Jareth today. We met at a park and Jareth hammed it up in his usual style. I know I'm going to have a hard time picking out which pictures to get copies of. It was a great location, by the local river, with weeping willows and picnic tables about. Jareth enjoyed it and stretched his legs quite a bit after the photos were done and we talked more about the changes to upgrade her web site to be more streamlined and have a couple more features for her clients. She wants to be able to maintain it and make changes herself once we're done, and is already starting to read up on HTML. I think she's got enough smarts and common sense to be able to do it too. I can't say that about everyone, that's for sure. I'm looking into some stuff for her and working on setting up a proper stylesheet, since the program she was initially using didn't do a proper job of it.free games jar

Then, after dinner tonight and a brief visit from one of our insurance agents (yes, we have more than one... ack!), we popped Jareth into his stroller and headed down to the local park where he was giddly with laughter when we put him in the swing! After that we let him run around a bit, although we had to reign him back in when he saw a soccer ball that some men were kicking around and tried to go running off after it! He darn near ran right into their game to get it, which was bolder than he normally is. I guess I need to get some more outdoor toys for him to play with now that he is old enough for them. That's food for thought for his birthday list, since he turns two next month. I just got the invitations done and need to mail them out for his party. I'll need to update his wish lists before his birthday too.free games jar

By bedtime though, Jareth was one cranky little guy. He had a shorter nap than usual today I think, since I put him down for it a little earlier than he is accustomed to. He seemed to pass out pretty quick when we put him down to sleep tonight too. I think he wore himself out some.free games jar

Mommy's a wee bit worn out herself. One of his favorite games when he's outside is to run off laughing while I run after him saying "I'm gonna git you!" and then scoop him up in the air for a moment before hugging him and setting him on his feet to run some more. He can do that for a looooong time. I, however, cannot.free games jar

Oh. And my yard needs work. Lots of it. Such is the commentary that always occurs when Brian and I come back from walking the stoller around or going to the park. It seems like our yard looks crappy in comparison to all the others.free games jar

Yeah. I'll get to it. Eventually. *rolls eyes*free games jar

G'night!free games jar

And So it goes, and so it goes...

All the meetup groups are slowly drifting off to other areas and the organizers "stepping down" from their spots on meetup.com. In my case, only one group is staying as far as I can tell. One group is merging back in with the one that is staying, and that organizer "stepped down" from it today, although she will still be helping the other group's organizer with stuff for my area. We had branched off in order to be more location specific, since the other group's events and meetings are miles away. With gas prices the way they are these days, it's a wonder anyone can afford to drive to some of these meetups, much less buy food at the venue or pay fees to meetup.com. *sigh* Nonetheless, I'll be pitching in to help pay for the one group that is staying. But only because I like the group itself. I'm pretty well pissed off at meetup.com. Even despite the fact that they finally got it working for my Opera web browser. I suppose they had to now that they are throwing around mandatory charges and everything...free games jar

In other news, I'm all pooped out today. We went and helped Brian's folks get his grandmother's apartment mostly packed up and moved a bunch of furniture out of it. There were some dressers that came home with us, along with a filing cabinet and a few other items. There's more stuff they're not sure what to do with yet, but I may be able to find a home for an item or two with RainMoon too. There was a mass emptying of drawers into boxes for sorting through later, as they've got about two weeks to finish up. I think we helped make some huge progress today. It helped that she kept her stuff all reasonably tidy.free games jar

Anyway, we now have another dresser in our bedroom. It makes it a little tighter in one spot, but will hopefully give me drawers to put some of the mess of clothes away. Now I really need to get to the task of sorting them out and getting rid of the stuff I don't wear. If only I had time. I think I'm booked and double-booked until at least Thu...errr.... Saturday. I just remembered that Jareth's classes are Thursday and Friday Mornings. Those days aren't double-booked I don't think. I'll have to check my schedule to confirm it though. I'm actually triple-booked tomorrow. As in I have three things specifically on my schedule. Plus I'm working on trying to get the invitations together for Jareth's birthday party next month so that people get them in time to let me know if they can make it or not.free games jar

One bit of excitement happened this evening, however, after we had settled down to relax in the family room downstairs. We heard some sort of yelling/screaming coming from outside, through the open windows. Feeling like it sounded wrong to me, I suggested that Brian go up and see if he could tell what was going on. When he didn't come back after a couple of minutes, I nervously popped upstairs to have a look-see myself.free games jar

There were two women having a struggle and screaming match on the street in front of our house. Now, we're at a "T" intersection, along the top edge, pretty much where the bottom line comes up to intersect. You can almost drive from the one street's stop sign directly into our driveway. So there were two streets of traffic trying to go by while one of the women sat or sprawled out on the pavement, wailing and screaming. The other woman was screaming at her to get out of the street and even physically trying to drag her off the pavement. Thus, the first woman attempted to take some swings at her too. At one point the one trying to get her off the street tackled her down on the grass parkway next to the street. By this time Brian had been outside, trying to see if someone was hurt. He had figured out that it was more likely something drug-related and come back inside. I called 911 and told them what was going on. Not long after, we heard other people telling the women that the police were coming, so I don't think we were the only people to call. It was dark enough that I was concerned one or both of them were going to get run over at the very least! Fortunately it didn't take the officer long to get there. One of the women was cuffed and put in the back of the car and then he started talking to the other one. At that point we went back to our relaxing since the "disturbance" end was over and nobody was in danger anymore.free games jar

Lovely neighborhood I live in eh? *sigh* I said the same thing while my in-laws were having dinner with us tonight too. Because someone happened to drive by and toss a glass bottle out onto one of my neighbors' driveways just then. I'm always having to pick trash up off my lawn. And, now that the weather has turned nice, they are starting to race their cars down our street again. Lovely. Just lovely.free games jar

Anyway... I'd better get some sleep now that the aspirin has kicked in some. Or is it that the stiff drink Brian made for me earlier? Maybe a combination. *shrug* As long as it helps, I really don't care tonight.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

My little piles...

My desk is piling up again. Small piles of things I want, need, or have to get done are growing here and there around me. Lists keep getting made and piled on top of other lists. Unfortunately I end up prioritizing. That means that all the "want" ends up at the bottom of the piles, with the "need" sitting on top of it. Usually the "have to do now!" stuff tops the pile nearest me, urgently glaring at me no matter what I might be doing. I keep reshuffling everything in order to decide which is most urgent or important in the queue. I need another burst of that energy I had a few weeks back, where I went about the house tidying everything for no apparent reason.free games jar

Of course some of my more recent additions to the urgent pile are at least funner for me than some of the other stuff on my list. I've got web design stuff up to my eyebrows these days with three projects in the works and another brewing. My mind is awhirl with HTML and CSS and other such nonsense lately.free games jar

Brian worked today - the tradeoff for him staying home last Wednesday - so it was more like a weekday for me than a Saturday. RainMoon stopped by for a while to hang out, which helped. But she could only stay for so long with it being her birthday and all. Her daughter and husband were making her a birthday cake so she was curious to find out how it turned out. (P.S. - RainMoon, your jacket is still here)free games jar

I spent quite a bit of today working on projects when my son would allow me to. He's learned that if he comes over and puts his arms up to me I'll scoop him up into my chair with me. He's also learned if he leans and puts himself between me and my monitor while he's on my lap - I can't see to type! Thus, he gains my complete attention. The stinker!!! I wrote the shortest Quick Shtick Writing post that I've written in a long time today. Not because I couldn't think of what to write, but because someone wouldn't let me pay attention to my computer for long enough! Not that I blame him, mind you. I just wish there were more hours in each day, and that he would nap for some of the extra ones if there was.free games jar

Speaking of sleep. I need to get some of that myself soon. So that's all for now.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Birthday Wishes...

I'm adding this in now, instead of waiting for after I get up in the morning...free games jar

*grin*free games jar

I hope your day is wonderful!free games jar

Girls' night out...

It's going to look like I didn't post for two days straight, but as far as I'm concerned it's still Friday as I haven't gone to bed yet. I will shortly, however.free games jar

As for why I didn't post last night? I was busy. This blog may be one of those things I enjoy having and doing, but I've stopped being such a stickler about posting every single day if it's not convenient for me. I was busy living life last night. As a result, I didn't roll into my driveway until about 2:45 am. I know the clock said around 3:05 am or so when I tiptoed my way into the bedroom and crawled into my bed. Needless to say, we didn't go to Jareth's Kid Rock class today. Mommy was too dead to the world asleep to be running around a small dance room trying to coax her little boy into participating maybe just a little...free games jar

Which brings up the first part of yesterday, when we went to his gymnastics class. The second class was run pretty similar to the first, but I managed to get Jareth enthusiastic about it this time. It started off the same, but I wore myself out running here and there and finally convincing him it was fun to crawl on the various mats and other aparatus they have. He had some favorites and liked to run off sometimes and giggled as I huffed my way after him, but at least he was having fun. I, on the other hand, needed a nap!free games jar

After class we ran and started picking up some of the stuff for his birthday party next month, before coming home and trying to let mommy get some web design work done. I've got a barter deal going with one of the other moms I've met who does photography. She takes these wonderful pictures of children, and has asked me to help tweak some of the coding on her web site for her. Honestly, I'm finding it really wants some overhaul. The program she used has done an... interesting job of being entirely messy and complicated with the code. In exchange, she's giving me a free photo session and then a discount on the prints. We're going to meet for the photo session on Monday and in the meantime I'm seeing how far I can get on fixing the code up some for her. At the moment, all the changes are still local and not up on the site yet. I did a little work on it yesterday before I bailed to take a short nap (I did say I needed one!) before going out. I got more work done on it today instead.free games jar

Saturday is my friend RainMoon's birthday. Since the 14th fell pretty much right in the middle of her birthday and mine, we decided to leave our respective husbands and children at home and head out for some "ladies' night out". We had some dinner and the evening's drink special, hung out at a local bowling alley playing some pool (and confirming I still pretty much suck at the game) and having a couple drinks (okay, one bottle of beer for me and a Coke as I was the one driving for the evening), and then finished off at a diner for some munchies/dessert. Okay, so the diner was a Denny's, but only because it was around midnight at that point and nothing else was open. I'm not a big fan of Denny's normally, having spent far too much time as a Denny's waitress doing graveyard shifts long, long ago. But when there's nothing else open and you don't quite feel ready to go back to the usual routine just yet, you take what you can get. I've semi-suspended the diet this week, so I indulged a little last night food-wise too. I was surprised to see someone actually give me the metal cup of "extra" for my strawberry shake at Denny's, as I've noted they usually don't bother with that anymore. In fact most Denny's seem to require that the servers measure out the ingredients so precisely that it almost doesn't fill the shake cup!free games jar

We also happened upon a couple of RainMoon's other friends at the Denny's and they joined us for a while. That was most of the reason we ended up out so late. Time just sort of kept slipping away from us as we basked in our little night of doing whatever struck our fancy and not worrying about getting home in time to tuck our kids into bed. I had already told Brian not to bother keeping Jareth up past his bedtime to wait for me, as I didn't think I'd be back in time. I had no idea how easy it would be to just hang out and lose track of time. Honestly? It was great! I even managed to not feel at all guilty about how late I got home.free games jar

But, by that point tiredness had taken over and all I wanted to do when I got home was hang up my coat, wash my face and all that usual bedtime stuff, and then snuggle in under my covers. I guess, on some levels, my age keeps catching up to me. I fell asleep pretty darn fast anyway.free games jar

I think I might sleep well tonight too. free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Getting my groove on...

So, tonight I went with Brian to the pagan meetup thing he goes to once per month. Not the drum thing he does - that's his "him thing", but he said it would be okay if I came to tonight's regular meetup with him. At the end of the evening he said it was okay if I wanted to keep going to it too! It didn't seem to change the dynamic too dramatically. It was a little trickier taking turns keeping Jareth occupied, but at a couple of points we had some of the other members of the group joining in with that task. Jareth was making friends (Brian likes to call it "flirting" since Jareth tends to attract the girls) again. But really my little guy was a complete angel considering we didn't leave until an hour past his usual bedtime. he spent three hours cooped up in his booster seat or one of our laps and was actually really, really good!free games jar

Mind you, we left the place (a Panera Bread) at around 10:15 pm. As we got in the car, Brian told me the place was supposed to close at 9 pm! I thought I liked that place before (mmmm.... soup in a bread bowl!!!), but I was especially impressed by them not kicking us out! I also have to say I loved the I.C. Caramel drink they have. I had TWO! Nevermind about that diet I'm supposedly on... Yesterday and today didn't count anyway... right?free games jar

*wicked grin*free games jar

I was both excited and nervous to go tonight. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't want to wreck the whole feel of it for Brian by being there. He has a tendency to be quiet in a lot of social situations where we are both there, while I tend to jump in and try to be social (sometimes even to a fault, I'll admit). Fortunately he had already been to these before and knew some of the people well enough that he felt comfortable talking. There is also a person in the group who seems to have taken charge of setting up some icebreaker topics to open up conversation. Tonight's went particularly well from what I could tell.free games jar

I have to say that while I tend to look at the world and keep quiet on spirituality in the day-to-day scope of things, I found it refreshing to be in an environment where talking about my spiritual beliefs was not only acceptable, but encouraged. Being around people who either have similar views on some things as you do, or are open-minded enough to accept and listen to your take on things is such a nice change! There aren't many people overall that understand that I don't fit into the mold of one of the standard religions of the majority. Even family members are having a hard time accepting some of the changes Brian and I have been trying to incorporate into both our holidays and everyday lives.free games jar

I am still pumped up from the meeting. Feeling particularly alive, as I often do when I find myself really talking about my beliefs in earnest. I don't touch on it here as often as I once planned on doing, but who knows - maybe that will change a little as I find myself having discussions with these new people more often.free games jar

For right now, however, I need to slide back down off my spiritual high and back into my current existence so that I stand a chance of being able to sleep tonight! So I'm off to finish off today with a little bit of computer game before bed.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Meetup.com

I was going to talk about the rest of my birthday. About how Brian took me out for a lovely seafood dinner at a Joe's Crab Shack where we split an appetizer, dinner, and dessert like we often do when we go out. Jareth had the kid's popcorn shrimp. We had alaskan king crab and crab-stuffed shrimp... mmm.free games jar

I was also going to mention what Brian got me for my birthday (a VisiBone card collection) and how geeky I must be that I was so excited to sit there pouring over pages of HTML and CSS stuff in teensy, tiny type.free games jar

I probably would have mentioned some cute stuff about Jareth too. I usually have a hard time leaving that out.free games jar

But not tonight. Nope.free games jar

Because I'm miffed. Pissed. Irked. Annoyed.free games jar

At meetup.com.free games jar

Why? I'm so glad you asked...free games jar

Because I got a short little e-mail in my box stating that there were some new features... and, oh, by the way, some new "organizer charges"...free games jar

Wait - WHAT? I just became an organizer last month for a roleplayer group in the hopes of getting them actually meeting and stuff. What's this about charges?free games jar

Now, I'd been considering looking to see what the cost was to "upgrade" to a paid membership in order to support them. I still don't know what that would have cost me. When I read the letter to find out what this new organizer cost was all about I found that they will be charging organizers $9 per MONTH until December. Then it goes up to $19 per MONTH!free games jar

Oh. my. *&%$ing. god.free games jar

Two months of that would more than pay for a year of what it costs me for this site and domain name. more than. for a year. not a month. a year.free games jar

So much for me being an organizer now... they suggest that you could pass that cost on to your members, but that group doesn't have any members that are even commenting on the board or RSVPing yet! If nobody shows at the meeting then it's still just me and Brian. And we can't pay that just to see if the meetup will work out. Not a chance in hell!free games jar

Someone on their discussion board accurately put it that they are "shooting themselves in the foot" with this move. A whole lot of meetup groups will die when their organizer steps down being unable to pay it and/or unable to ask the members to help them pay it. Also, it's on a PER GROUP basis, which means if you organize more than one group you are really screwed. Lots of people are putting up messages about moving to groups on other free sites like yahoo and msn, among others. I'm going to have to look into those. The pagan parenting one I'm working on a web site for (www.paganparents.com) will have to have its progress stepped up a bit so that the local group I'm in can have it's stuff there. I'm going to have to add areas for local groups on our message board now too I think, to make it easier. I was still working on graphics for the initial design, not planning to make up for meetup.com pulling the rug out from under the group!free games jar

With people moving their groups to other sites, there will be less traffic at meetup.com. With a fee, it is unlikely they will get many people wanting to be new organizers to groups - they will have to pay just to get it off the ground! Without new groups, meetup.com will cease to grow. Eventually, those groups that stay will drop down to a small number of paying customers - which will also change the dynamic of the type of people you will meet through meetup.com. It will only be those with the cash to pay for such things. Thus, essentially, defeating the spirit I had thought it was created in. I expect, if the situation goes as they have announced it, meetup.com will last another two years. Tops.free games jar

Following are the alternatives to meetup.com that are currently being posted on their discussion board by other protesters of this:

Yahoo Groups
Google Groups
Proboards
Evite
MSN Groups
InvisionFree

free games jar

Anyway. I'm going to play a little more computer game tonight before I go to bed. I suddenly feel the need to inflict needless violence on fictional, pixelated, evil minions...free games jar

G'night!free games jar

And now,

Would you rather:
1. have starr jones over for dinner OR mike tyson?
Well I don't know who Star Jones is, and her web site requires an e-mail to find out so I guess her. She's probably less violent and I could bitch about that e-mail thing while I was at it.
2. put cheez-whiz on everything you eat OR marshmallows?*cough* neither!! I guess I'd go for marshmallows before cheez-whiz. Egads! I think the marshmallows might be less likely to kill me.
3. hitchhike everywhere you go OR walk?
Hitchhike. It would be an interesting societal study seeing who gave me rides. I don't think I look threatening either, so people might actually give me rides too.
4. dress in lederhosen for a week OR nothing but a grass skirt and coconut bra?
The coconut bra would probably be uncomfortable as hell, but I think I'll go for that based on the novelty of it. That actually sounds amusingly fun.

Wow... two posts in one day! See what would happen if I blew everything off on a regular basis? Wonders never cease!free games jar

Now back to the regularly scheduled computer gaming until I need to get dressed in something more restaurant-appropriate and scoop up a little boy after his nap.free games jar

Birthday...

On one hand, today is not so different from any other day. On the other hand...free games jar

So far, I woke up and lounged in bed for a bit before getting a phone call from my friend RainMoon, wishing me a happy one. We gabbed for a bit and then I rolled lazily out of bed and wandered down to get my little guy up for the day. I didn't stay up overly late last night, so at least I didn't wake Jareth up too late and risk mucking up his whole schedule for the day. He was lounging in bed too and grinned up at me when I went to scoop him up.free games jar

Then began the little notes. Since he couldn't be around during the day today, Brian left me little notes instead. He must have run through my morning schedule in his head, as they were placed in all the likely spots I'd need to go to - on the bathroom mirror, under the vitamin caddy, under my keyboard, in the fridge, at my place at the table, and so on. I think I've found them all, but I'm not positive yet. There's also a wrapped box sitting atop my monitor right now, taunting me. But I'm a good little girl, and I'm waiting until he gets home before I tear into it to find out what's inside. I've weighed it in my hands though, and gauged the box size... but I'm still not sure what he got me.free games jar

On Sunday, my mother-in-law went outside and snipped daffodils from her garden to put on the table. They are my favorite flower. At the end of the evening she wrapped the bottoms in wet paper towel and a small plastic bag so I could take them home with me. We had trouble finding a vase, but I improvised and they've been sitting at my desk when I am. They hide behind the shutter at the window when I'm not sitting here - where they can get some sun and yet the kitten can't find them. Jareth is always so curious I brought them down to his level for a while today so he could check them out in some detail:free games jar

Now I think I'll take a little time to wrap a gift for RainMoon (since her birthday is on the 16th, we're going to have a "girl's night out" on the 14th) and score some lunch for Jareth and I (probably the wraps I made up yesterday) out of the fridge. I'm thinkin' computer games for a bit after that. With a break for a shower when I put Jareth down for his nap. It's either dinner out or order in tonight - kind of my choice. I'm thinking dinner out.free games jar

Maybe more later... maybe not. We'll see.free games jar

Counting down until another birthday...

Tomorrow is my birthday. On April 12th, 1972 at 10:54 pm, I came into this world in the usual manner - kicking and screaming. It rained. And so, it Rayned.free games jar

It seems that each year I look at this date in a different way. This year, damnit, I'm celebrating it. It's another year of my journey gone past and the beginning of the next. It marks my timeline in this linear life. It's a unit of measurement and a chance to celebrate my own personal little adventure here in this existence.free games jar

Thus, I spent today running errands and getting things reasonably ship-shape so that I won't have to do the usual chores tomorrow. I've got groceries stocked, lunches pre-made, and the dinner menu for the rest of the week mostly squared away. I even bought stuff for Brian to cook for me on Wednesday morning when he stays home. He couldn't get tomorrow off, but he was able to get Wednesday so he and I will still be celebrating then too. If I go out at all tomorrow, it will be to rent movies for myself or out to dinner when Brian gets home from work tomorrow night. I'm keeping flexible on all of it.free games jar

Sunday, we did the "family thing" which means that we had dinner and cake (this uber-yummy Kaluha cake!) at Brian's folks with my uncle in attendance. My sister couldn't make it due to her work schedule, but I knew that way in advance. My sister-in-law was expecting to be arriving late, but it turned out that she got there not long after we did. It seemed like a good time was had by all. I know I did anyway. *grin* Jareth certainly seemed to. He and Brian explored the yard there for a while...free games jar

Yeah, I know... his hair looks like it needs a trim. It's okay though, we did that today too. I haven't taken a picture today, but I wouldn't be surprised if you see another soon. It seems to be picture week for me right now. I don't know why, but I go through stages with the camera where I'll get all shutterbug on everyone for a while and then let the camera collect dust for a couple weeks in between. Hopefully all these pictures I keep putting up won't gobble all the extra space my web server (cleverdot) recently gave me when they upgraded their servers. I thought that was really cool. One week I get an e-mail saying I'm running low on space and then next I get an e-mail saying they've doubled my space. Heehee... *wicked grin* More picture room for me!free games jar

Well, that's all for now. I've got to go back to not eating the Godiva Belgian Dark Chocolate ice cream I bought myself for tomorrow. I loooooove that stuff. But, for the next two days - the diet is temporarily null and void. I will eat yummy things! Yay!free games jar

*runs off singing "Happy Birthday to meeeeeeee!"*free games jar

G'night!free games jar

P.S. - did I mention that Jareth helped me blow out my candle? Twice! We relit it so he could show everyone again. He learned that trick while trying to blow on the candles here and make them "dance". He should have no problem blowing his out on his birthday next month. He also learned to say "buh-bye" yesterday too! We went for brunch and he first said it as we were leaving the restaurant. Later, when we were leaving Brian's folks house, he started saying it back to everyone who said it to him. In fact, he said it repeatedly all the way home. Driving alone in our car with this little voice in the darkness of the back seat...free games jar

"Buh-bye!"
"Buh-bye!"
"Buh-bye!"free games jar

My god he is just too cute sometimes! My heart swells so much I think it will burst!free games jar

"Buh-bye!"free games jar

Fresh Air!

I'm not the only one who's enjoying having the windows open lately...free games jar

Maybe more from me later. We'll see.free games jar

Outshining the strappy sandals and the daffodil...

I was going to put up a picture of my feet in my new strappy sandals I bought today after we finished getting our taxes done. We're getting a refund, so I didn't feel so bad for wanting a pair of sandals and thought I'd take advantage of the lack of guilt to get a pair.free games jar

I was also going to put up the picture I took of the daffodil that has bloomed out front just a day or so ago. It's all open in time for my birthday (Tuesday) and is helping it feel like spring.free games jar

But, instead, I'll be putting up a different picture instead.free games jar

You see, I was sitting at my desk today, happily realizing that after convincing Brian that we had enough time for him to go outside with Jareth and let him play for a while, I had the house to myself. I was gleefully contemplating a long, luxurious shower when Brian came back in long enough to tell me I should come outside.free games jar

"You're going to want to see this," he said.free games jar

With a sigh, I limped outside (I'm still suffering from a foot injury about a week ago when a misstep sent me into a heap on the floor in front of half of Brian's relatives) to find that Jareth was finally riding one of his riding toys. I have tried, on several occasions, to get him to sit on one and scoot around, but he generally gets off of them as soon as possible. I think that he's finally seen enough kids doing it at one of the mom/kid functions we go to that he got brave enough to try it himself today. His daddy being there to help him probably made a bunch of difference too. I get to be the "bad guy" around here usually, while daddy is the "fun one". Such is the price of being the one staying home with him.free games jar

Needless to say, I limped my butt back inside for the camera so I could capture the moment on film. Thus, I give you this:free games jar

Yes. He's very cute. So cute that you wouldn't believe the bribery efforts we had to go through to get him to sit still and behave while we sat with the guy getting our taxes done today. It got to the point that I took him out and went down two stores where I bought a kid-sized ice cream to shovel into his little mouth to keep him quiet. The usual bribery tactics were short-lived. When that happens, mommy resorts to desperate measures. At least I got to "share" the ice cream too.free games jar

But that's all for now. I've got dinner waiting for me.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Bored. Really. Really. Bored.

Brian is at one of his meetups tonight. I didn't rent a "chick flick" for while he was gone, as I thought I was going to be meeting with a potential client for a web design this afternoon and thus figured I'd be too busy chewing on HTML code to worry about watching some sappy, comedic drivel. Even if it was good enough drivel to make my list of drivel I'm actually wanting to watch, it was unlikely I'd notice the time slipping away...free games jar

But the client never showed up. I guess there was an attempt to call Brian at work (since that's how I found out about him in the first place - he works his "day job" at the same place Brian currently works), but the call never transferred. I'm hoping the guy didn't end up in an accident or something. I left him a message, but haven't heard back from him yet.free games jar

So I've done dinner, relaxed with my son, put him to bed and idly flipped through the menu on the television to find that there isn't even any pay-per-view I want to watch at the moment. I watched the latter half of a Battlestar Galactica (the new one) that I'd already seen before I wandered back to my computer to blog...free games jar

I am so bored I'm tempted to go to bed. At 10:30 pm? Huh... How weird.free games jar

Or, more likely, I'll just play a computer game for a while. Whatever. I'm suddenly in no mood to do anything remotely productive or creative. I mean c'mon it's supposed to be Friday night - the start of the weekend! Right?free games jar

Right.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Always The Outsider...

Every have one of those days where you feel like you just don't fit in with the rest of the world? Yeah. Me too. Today was one of 'em.free games jar

Twinkling Stars, Jareth's new gymnastics class on Thursday mornings, looks like it will be a lot of fun. When he's old enough. For now, we will sit at the sidelines and watch the other kids and by the end of class maybe even interact with one or two of them as he gets comfortable enough to go near them. He latched onto the rubber "stars" they had out, which was fine, except he then wanted nothing to do with the rest of the class. I tried to bring him into the structured activities, but he went all limp-noodle on me and refused to participate.free games jar

*sigh*free games jar

So we spent most of the time sitting on the edge of the mat, playing with the borrowed stars and watching the other kids tumble and jump and walk on balance beams. I know he's not ready for that last one yet, but I keep worrying he's behind on some things despite the fact that he seems to excel at others. He has excellent hand-eye-coordination, but he doesn't jump and he trips over his own feet all the time. I'm hoping he'll at least see the other kids doing it and try to start picking some of it up. He did give the teacher a high-five though. I'm so glad I taught him that.free games jar

After that it was lunch with the mommies in one of my meetup groups. It went well enough but for some reason I just felt oddly out of place for most of it today. Like my attempts to join into the conversation were forced. I kept jumping for chances to say something that remotely sounded like I belonged there. There was talk of trips to Cancun and daytime talk shows - stuff I really know nothing about. I'm excited at the prospect that we may strip the budget raw next month so that we can go somewhere with a sunny beach for our anniversary for a couple of days. Like Florida. Because there's no way in hell we could afford to leave the country short of driving to Canada and pretending it felt exotic. Which it's not. Sorry Canadians, but it's just more North America up there - just colder and greener. I do like the greener part though.free games jar

And I'm not the type to sit at home all day and watch Opera or some other daytime television. Once upon a time my mom lured me into watching the daytime "soaps" with her for a while, but I gave up on them a long time ago. Now that I've become a stay-at-home-mom I suppose I could start watching them but it just seems like a waste of my time. I'd rather spend my time doing something more interactive.free games jar

There's a few other areas where I feel as if I just don't belong there, but I can't always put my finger on them. I think, sometimes, that my view on life is different. Most people look at me funny when they find out I frequently stay up later at night and don't jump out of bed at 6:00 am like they do. To me, 6:00 am is an ungodly, unholy, forsaken hour of evilness. I don't want to be awake then. Of course that's mostly because I've usually gone to bed around midnight at the earliest. No matter how many times I try and reset my schedule to match all the good little day-job drones, I just can't seem to. I'm not wired that way. So if I roll out of bed sometime between 8:00 am and 10:00 am, keep in mind that I didn't go to bed until sometime between midnight and 3:00 am in the first place. I'm getting the same amount of sleep as the rest of you, it's just not exactly the same hours.free games jar

Yes, I'm feeling a bit of rebellious non-conformity bubbling up again lately. The urge to lash out at society and demand to know exactly why it is that I'm supposed to submit to their rules when I don't think half of their rules even make sense. Don't worry. It will pass. It always does. Eventually I'll get too frustrated by society's lack of ability to even comprehend what makes perfect sense to me and sink back into glum submission. That's how it usually works anyway. It's not likely to be much different this time.free games jar

In the meantime, anyway, I'm getting tonight's post in early as I have to make sure I can roll myself out of bed on time tomorrow. Jareth has the first class for the new session of Kid Rock. Maybe having done one session already he'll do better at this one. We'll see.free games jar

G'night.free games jar

What the? Ohhhh...

So I woke up from the strangest dream this morning. Okay, maybe not the strangest, but one of the strange one's at the very least.free games jar

My sister needed some sort of operation, which involved me needing to be available in case she needed something... like a blood donor or something I guess, except that I had to do some preparatory stuff to be ready at the point she might need whatever it was. Apparently Brian was a possible candidate too, as he was doing the prep stuff with me. We had to drink this really icky stuff - kind of like a combination of the pink stuff you have to drink before one of those scans and the jug of nasty clear stuff you have to drink before a colonoscopy. We sat in a hospital exam room and drank up all the nastyness (which my sister had to drink too for some reason). Then they hauled my sister away and told me that Brian and I could go home for a couple of hours before we'd need to be back in the hospital. They also told me I wasn't allowed to pee until I came back into the hospital.free games jar

They forgot to tell that to Brian, however, so I found out he peed before we'd even made it out of the hospital. I guess I was getting my coat or something and missed it until he told me when we got home. By the end of the two hours I was in tears and had my legs all crossed and was desperate to use a toilet. But there was some delay when we called the hospital to make sure we needed to come in, and they kept saying that I needed to wait and keep holding it. I guess it was imperative that I not use the toilet since I was now the only donor available for whatever it was they were doing to my sister...free games jar

Yeah.free games jar

Needless to say, when I woke up at about that point, guess what I needed to do?free games jar

It really makes me wonder what it is that is happening to me in reality when I dream that I'm walking along and trip on the sidewalk for no reason. Although I've heard that sometimes that means your feet are caught up in the covers.free games jar

On that note...free games jar

G'night!free games jar

And now,

Would you rather:
1. be constantly sweating on the back of your knees OR always think you have bad breath?
Knees. I could hide that with skirts and super-absorbent socks. But constantly think I have bad breath? No. I'm self-conscious enough as it is.
2. come home and somebody painted all your walls bright red OR somebody replaced all your floors with astroturf?
Red walls can be repainted. But you don't want to be the person who replaced my floors with astroturf. You'd be in for some serious hurt if you did that.
3. win a new car OR win a two week, all expenses paid, vacation to anywhere in the world?
Vacation. Easy choice. I always value experiences over "things" when it comes to choices like that.
4. have a tapeworm OR lice?
I think tapeworm. One worm sounds easier to get rid of than a whole mess of lice in the end. But, then, I don't know a lot about tapeworms so I'm making an uninformed choice on that one.

Do supermodels dream of food?

Well, in case you were wondering - nope, I didn't do any actual writing other than the usual post at Quick Shtick Writing today. Instead, I found myself diddling about with graphics for two different web sites instead. I don't know why, but today feels entirely not like a Monday and I had a difficult-to-resist urge to blow everything off and play computer games all day. To my credit, I didn't. Yay me.free games jar

I did not make it to the open gym thing with Jareth this morning, however. I'm having trouble sleeping at night again, which is making it more and more difficult to roll my ass out of bed in the morning. I gotta get back into it though, as this Thursday and Friday mark the beginning of a new session of classes for Jareth at the local park district. This time it's Kid Rock and a gymnastics thing called Twinkling Stars. We'll see how he likes them. I just found out I need to sign up for the summer session by April 19th too, so I'm scouring the latest schedule they sent me to see what they are offering. I don't know that we'll sign up for a third Kid Rock yet, as I'm unsure how he'll even do for the second one. I'm thinking about taking the swimming thing that teaches you how to hold your child in the water and helps the kid get used to swimming pools. It sounds fun, but I will have to get into a - *gasp* - swimming suit for it. Which means buying a new one. Which, in my opinion, means that the diet I'm currently trying to work on had damned well better work or I'll not be a happy camper.free games jar

I find it most annoying that every time I try and do something to slim back down it seems that I gain ten pounds instead! Damned metabolism! Stop that!free games jar

I spent a few moments today toying with the idea of starting Tai Chi again, but didn't actually do any. Boo me. Bad Amy! No biscuit! Literally. Especially not any chocolate ones, despite my recent lust for all things chocolate for some reason. In fact, I'd better stop talking about chocolate right now. *sigh* I'm mostly limiting my chocolate consumption to the chocolate chips in my granola bars I have handy as a between-meal snack. I'm tempted to buy the Glucerna snack bars that I had for snacks during the gestational diabetes again. The chocolate caramel ones weren't bad, and they were "allowed" as a between-meal snack for me if I didn't have time for something else. I ate quite a few over those few months. Mind you, the other two flavors are relatively... um... disgusting. 'Nuff said.free games jar

We've been eating really healthy at dinner for the most part, except on the rare occasions we eat out or order pizza. I've got these wonderfully healthy spinach wrap things I'm making instead of sandwiches for lunches (only 251 calories and chock full of yummy goodness), and I've switched over to drinking a Slim-Fast shake for breakfast (cappuccino delight is the best, by the way, although I wish they'd make the chocolate fudge in the new, lower sugar ones). Otherwise, I'm having a granola bar or some baby carrots as snacks when I'm hungry.free games jar

It sounds like a reasonable diet... right? So the weight should be coming off anytime soon... It's not like I'm sitting here dormant either - I'm up and down the stairs all the time at the very least. Once I add a little more disciplined exercise I should get nice and fit...free games jar

But will it be in time to look good in a swimsuit in a few months?free games jar

Time will tell. It always does.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Changing tracks with my train of thought...

I've just added a new category, finally, to throw this post into. I should probably go back and put a few of my older posts into this category, but... nah. I have far, far too much to do these days to worry myself with such little, trivial details.free games jar

We went to a writing group meetup today. For me, anyway, I see it as a kick-start reminder to myself that I ought to be writing more on my own - apart from what Brian and I do over at Quick Shtick Writing everyday. I may have the discipline of writing daily down, but I'm not writing anything solely my own currently. I keep starting projects and then setting them aside. I have to find a way to set aside an hour or two each day, for starters, to write - no matter what my plans might be. The trouble is finding that time. Especially now that I've gone and joined all these "mommy meetups" to give Jareth some social experiences (and myself as well).free games jar

It was refreshing just to meet with other people who are writing. I get the impression I was meeting with others who write because they love to write, more than because they want to make big bucks with it. It's important to enjoy it first and hope for it to end up being something you can one day make a living entirely with. I'd love for it to be that way for Brian and I, anyway. For us to be able to move out into the country somewhere and stay at home writing all day as we take turns home-schooling our son and any other children we might have. I think that's the dream we hold dear right now. One we can pretty much agree on.free games jar

But how many people actually get to make their entire living with just writing fiction? Despite the number of books on sale at any given time by writers who still remain amongst the living, I doubt there are very many who are living entirely on the proceeds from their work.free games jar

Don't quit your day job...free games jar

*sigh*free games jar

Too bad my day job doesn't pay in actual money. Speaking of which, we tucked the little guy into bed midway through my writing this post so I guess I'm off work for the day. Time to kick back and relax for a bit. Maybe tomorrow we'll be able to get up early enough to go to the open gym thing that Jareth enjoys so much. Then maybe I'll find some time later in the day to get in some writing around the other things on my list. Like groceries.free games jar

I think I may need extra caffeine tomorrow.free games jar

G'night!free games jar

Memories of days gone past...

I know, I didn't blog yesterday. I was too tired and had too much mucking about in my mind to put things down in a coherent fashion. So I crawled into bed instead. Yesterday, as Brian mentioned on his blog, was his grandma's memorial service. People gathered and remembered. It was a farewell, and also a bit of a weighted and exhausting day. After the service ended we went for some food with family and friends. We ended the evening by going to Grandma's apartment to help look through her stuff. Now that her immediate children have had the chance to divide some of the personal effects that hold special meaning for them, we have the opportunity to look for small trinkets of hers to remember her by.free games jar

It's an odd thing going through someone's belongings after they are gone. You can peek in the medicine chest or open drawers without any real sense of guilt. And yet, I always find that I do it gently - as if I might accidentally move or damage something important. As if I might release something holding her essence in it for someone who needs to feel it near them. Or maybe it's just that part of you that is unwilling to admit that the person is gone and is afraid that they will walk in at any moment and find you rummaging through their stuff.free games jar

We now have a small painting that she painted, for example, and a book with recipes and newspaper clippings relating to food and things like "how to clean crystal" in it. She was knitting soft balls for babies for an organization and there were some finished ones sitting in her knitting basket. I snagged two of them and a stuffed teddy bear for when we have our next child. Jareth already has a couple of stuffed balls from her as well as a couple of stuffed animals. She had just ordered one for him, in fact, from one of the wildlife foundations she liked to contribute to. I received a letter from her only days before she died, mentioning that she'd gotten it and would send it along to us the next time she saw Brian's dad. I've tucked that note in with the last set of pictures I sent her, which the note had also been thanking me for. We've gotten the pictures we'd given her back, and I saw today that she saved each of the notes that I had sent with them, tucking them into the sleeves of the photo albums with the pictures.free games jar

It's those little things that can tell you a lot about a person. That, and all the warm, glowing things people had to say about her at the memorial service.free games jar

I sometimes think I've gotten a little used to death, after losing so many of my own family. But I still felt strange entering her apartment yesterday evening and not finding her there. Finding the chaos that happens after someone dies...free games jar

And I am reminded once again to continue to get rid of some of my unecessary junk. Because I don't want to inflict it on someone else to sort through if something should happen to me. I would hate to think of what all my clutter would tell people about me if I were gone. What kind of tales would they reveal, I wonder?free games jar

I am currently awhirl with thoughts. Too many to put down here. Better to let them unwind one at a time when they are ready.free games jar

G'night.free games jar