DragonBlog

Ramblings...

Some nights, when I finally have a moment to sit down and blog, I find that all the lovely little profound things I thought up during the day (and, honest, they do happen!) have fled my mind for things like the following:

Yeah. And if anyone can remind me where in the hell that came from, please feel free to drop it in the comments. I seem to remember it being a line from something during the 80's.

There's a reason I've blocked out so much of the 80's. And the neon-colored hi-tops are only part of the reason. And the hair. Oh. My. God. The BIG. FLUFFY. HAIR!

*violently shakes off the flashbacks*

Hmmm. My mind is running weird circles tonight. Little things keep popping like yesterday, when a four-year-old came up to me and proudly nodded and told me:

"I just peed behind a bush!"

Now, most people would have raised an eyebrow and quietly thought "Okay kid - too much information" while smiling and nodding. I, on the other hand, congratulated him on his latest accomplishment while thinking "I wonder which one it was? I don't see a lot of bushes and I need to go mark some territory of my own..." Which I did, as you might have read in last night's entry. What sucked was being a "grown-up" and thus not getting to tell people about my accomplishments... *grin*

I am concerned about how tomorrow will go. Having Brian home all week has... um... spoiled Jareth. Brian has this nasty habit of giving in way too easily to our already spoiled little guy. Then *I* have to seem like the "bad cop" all the time whenever Brian is home. Thus, tomorrow will likely be a long monologue of "Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?" as Jareth tries to figure out where Brian is at. Meanwhile he will probably ignore me for most of the day until he's hungry. Like my cats do. Jareth, however, gets hungry every time he sees me munching anything interesting. Like the unsalted pretzels I've adopted as my anti-nausea weapon. So, every two to four minutes he will come up to me and say "More please? Pretzel? More please?"

And, damnit, how can I refuse him when he's learned how to say please properly? Not only that, but I've got him saying "thank you" when I give him one now too...

Can anyone say "Pavlov?" I've got a few "trigger words" around here that I pull out to get him to do certain things sometimes. "outside," "park," "camp," "cookie," "ice cream," and "flush" to name a few. He likes to flush the toilet, so I can often get him upstairs for naptime by timing my own potty needs to happen then too. I con him upstairs to "flush" for me and then grab the poor guy up for a diaper change and a nap. Once he understands just a little better, I'm going to withhold "flush" until he goes on his potty too. We'll see how that goes. It's one of the tricks one of the books I've got mentions to help with the potty training. Which is going... very... very... very... slowly... indeed. But that's okay. I have faith we'll get there eventually.

Well, that's enough rambling for me tonight. Especially since so much of it seems to be about pee.

G'night!

Current Mood: contemplative

Bang your drum!

I put some pictures up from tonight's drum circle. As I was checking them out, Brian saw one in particular and suggested that it would look cute if a little mouse were peeking out. So, like all good people who know how to waste an hour of their lives fiddling about with pixels and programs...

Da mouse is in da house!

The rest of the drum circle pictures are located here. Lots of fun. We met some new nice people and there were even other kids for Jareth to play with too! And drums... lots and lots of drums! Boom-ba-da-BOOM!

Although the lack of bathrooms at the park was an... um... inconvenience. I did end up running off and piddling on some bushes after doing the "potty dance" a little too long. Doesn't anybody realize that pregnant women are supposed to be drinking lots of water and have to PEE all the time? *grumble, mumble* I suggest a new law - restrooms in every public park! Rawr! That's right... get building folks! I've got at least 5 more months of this left to go and the baby only gets bigger. Thus, settling in to sit directly on my bladder in the process. And then KICKING it every now and again for good measure.

Believe me. I know. It wouldn't suprise me AT ALL if Jareth one day goes out for soccer. That kid's been kicking nice and strong since the WOMB! Heck, one night we sat with friends and were entertained by watching the ripples of kicking roll across my abdomen. It was almost like a scene straight out of Alien it was so easy to see!

Anyway, go check out the pics. I've got to send off an e-mail and then head off to bed soon.

G'night!

Current Mood: geeky

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink!

It was a busy day today. The good news is that the digestion problems I was having seem to have finally subsided. The bad news is that the nausea I was having seems to be specifically from the pregnancy. Eeep. I'm finding that snacking on whatever I can find that doesn't seem utterly revolting to me every couple of hours seems to help.

I had another pregnancy test at a doctor's office today. Yep - still pregnant. Heh. But now I've got a list of names for OB-GYN doctors to choose from. Today's doctor estimated that I'm anywhere from 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 months along. Which was not much of a surprise, that's around where I was estimating too.

Already like a third of the way through. *boggle*

We were at the doctor's long enough, filling out paperwork to get me covered through the goverment system stuff since I have no insurance, that we didn't make it over to the Algonquin Founders Day festival I was hoping to check out. I was mostly wanting to see the farmer's market/bazaar stuff to check out what kind of jewelry vendors they had. Gotta scope out the competition for when I start getting enough together to qualify as an actual inventory. By the time we got out of the doctor's though, I needed to eat something and it would have only left us with a half hour of time at best to see the vendors. Also, I wasn't about to pay to get in and only spend a half hour there.

Instead, we took Jareth to the park for a while...

He can go down slides on his own now. It's sooooo cute. He scooches on his butt for several feet just to get to the edge of the slide and start scooching forward to go down. It makes me giggle to watch.

I was clutching my sides at another antic today though... Jareth likes to say "water, water, water" when we are filling cups from the spigot on our fridge. Today, while he was in the bathroom with Brian (which we encourage right now as we are working on the potty training thing) in the background of Brian's "tinkling" in the toilet I hear Jareth's little voice saying "water, water, water..."

I totally get where that connection came from, but he'll just have to understand that daddy is not available to refill his sippy cup. Bleh!

That's all for now!

G'night!

Current Mood: amused

Another hairy situation tended to...

Brian has done it now...

Not only that, but he also bought the evil, vile, wicked leash cell phone today too. He's all ready to buckle down and start selling some campers and motor homes next week. After they train him on all their paperwork stuff first.

I like his new look. He's got the appropriate shorter haircut for the office, so to speak, but still has that slightly rugged and windblown look to him too. I'd also forgotten how his face looks different with short hair. The longer hair tended to frame his face and make it look slightly longer in the process.

Don't get me wrong, I did love my long-haired man. But I totally dig this new look too. The way he looked at me right after he finished getting it cut - he looked mischievous! It was sooo hot! *blush*

Sorry, but I had my son in my hands instead of my camera at that particular moment, so I didn't catch that one as the picture for him to post.

There was quite a bit of hair cut off. We're going to look into donating it somewhere if it's enough, so if anybody knows of places to do that, feel free to drop me a link here in the comments or something.

However, the not-quite-three-hours of sleep last night is wearing on me pretty badly, so...

G'night!

Current Mood: tired (more like exhausted!)

Me, and my less-than-perfect digestive system...

One of these days I guess I need to make a category marked "bodily functions" but I just can't bear the thought of having enough posts to fit into such a category. Despite the growing number of "phlem" posts I recorded here for all posterity this summer so far... *sigh* Between allergies and my stupid irritable bowels (yes, they've even been diagnosed as being "irritable", I'm not just trying to say they are cranky!), some days can be a joy of joys around this house, I assure you.

Today is now the third day straight of nausea and stomach/abdomenal pain. On one hand, I am either getting used to it enough to get around despite it or it is getting slightly better. On the other hand, IT STILL HURTS DAMNIT!!!

Some days it sucks to be the mommy. Some days I want a mommy to take care of me instead. And bring me soft, bland, yet yummy things to my bedside and hook up the television in the bedroom so it works again and stuff like that. Not that my mommy would have ever done that. She would have told me to suck it up and get my sorry ass out of bed. So, after two days of lying in bed or huddling in my computer chair moaning and grumbling unhappily over the loud noises my intestines kept making, today I went out into the world again.

Still moaning and grumbling, but outside the house nonetheless.

While we haven't gotten Brian's hair cut yet, or bought him a cell phone *cringes and shudders at the very idea of him having such a leash* we did get a couple errands done today. We got him some clothes he needs as well as picked up a few clothes for me while we were at it since part of our shopping was done at a thrift shop. And when all the items in the cart cost an average of $1.50 each, it's hard to convince myself I can't have it. Thrift shops are one of the rare places where I don't have to worry about the budget and agonize over which items I can afford to have and which ones I really shouldn't. I just have to sit down later and gently pull the staples out of everything, where the price tags were put on.

I hope it all fits, since there's not exactly a place to try on stuff when the most expensive item in clothing is maybe $8. I've got a couple of items that still have the tags on them from when they were purchased. Who buys these clothes, never wears them, and then donates them? I mean, I totally get that when the clothes are, like, size 4. Not many people can actually maintain a size 4. Hell, I never have. By the time I hit women's clothes I'm pretty sure I was already at least an 8. All I know is that if I can ever get back down to a size 10 again I'll hit paydirt at the thrift store. I saw a lot of size 10 stuff. I find it highly unlikely my hips will ever allow me into a 10 again though. Not after having given birth and all. I do have some size 12 and 14 clothes I'm still saving after I managed to fit into them a few years back and gleefully went on a shopping spree - only to immediately get pregnant afterwards. They are carefully folded up and awaiting my eventual return to sexiness again. But, with the current pregnancy bringing on a fresh onslaught of chocolate cravings, it may be a while yet before we see me in any of those again.

Mind you, the thrift store didn't have what Brian needed, so we ended up at a Target picking up what he needed there instead, since we really didn't feel up to dealing with Wal-Mart today. He needed polo shirts. Freaking polo shirts. Oh crap. If he suddenly wants to buy a set of golf clubs I may have to sit him down and have a talk to stop the yuppyisms from pushing forth.

Also today we stopped off at a local place and dropped off an application to get help with my pregnancy. We'll see what happens. I now have a bunch more paperwork to fill out before I go Friday and have an official blood test for the pregnancy. They can't start the stuff moving without a doctor saying I'm pregnant. No biggie. I know that this is what these government programs are in place for - to help people with no insurance not go bankrupt and into collections due to a pregnancy, for example - but it all still feels weird to me. I miss the insurance Brian had with the last permanent job he had. I miss it intensely. It felt very strange walking into that clinic today - I felt entirely out of my element. I think I was the only person in the place who did speak at least some Spanish, for one thing. Then again, I could say that of my neighborhood in general and the clinic is a few block down my street.

My mother's voice is naggling in the back of my head right now: "Spanish will be much more useful to you. You should really take that as your second language." Yes, mother, I can hear the echoing "I told you so" from you post-mortem. French seemed like such a pretty language at the time though. I mean, c'mon... the language of love right? *sigh* "Practical" seemed so much less exciting to a kid in junior high being offered up a head start on language classes. Ironically enough, I never finished my language requirement to get my bachelor's degree either. If I ever go back to finish that degree I have to do it again or pick another language and start from scratch. *rolls eyes*

We also had lunch out today with friends (relating, in part, to sorting out the complications that had arisen from that roleplaying session that had me so upset a while back) and then later ended up eating dinner out too as we didn't have time to run home. We'd been hoping to get the haircut in after dinner too, but it didn't end up working out. Two meals out in one day? What is my little world coming to? I finally feel like eating a little and I end up eating restaurant food. This does not bode well for how my stomach will feel tomorrow...

Anyway... I'm rambling tonight. I'd better just stop here, as I still have all those tags to deal with. Not to mention wanting to run the stuff through the laundry, although that part will probably wait until tomorrow. My tummy is growling at me to get back to bed already.

G'night!

Current Mood: tired

Poolboy in training...

As promised, a picture from the pool in the back yard yesterday:

That's all for now though. I have tummy troubles today and they seem to be getting progressively worse as the day continues. I hope it's just something I ate disagreeing with me and not me coming down with something. Urg. Been nauseous at the very least all day long. *hurk*

G'night!

Current Mood: nauseated

Weekend off...

We spent this weekend relaxing. We had two things planned on Saturday, but blew them both off in order to stay home and wait for the phone call about Brian's new job, and then decided not to go to our plans today as it was supposed to be hot as hell outside. Yesterday was spent relaxing indoors. We rented a movie for each day and added different forms of playing and relaxing as well.

Saturday was playing with Jareth, watching one of the movies, and playing some computer games. Not much, just kicking back. Today, on the other hand, we filled the little pool we'd recently picked up at a garage sale and went out in the back yard for a while. Jareth loved it. He was so busy checking out the new pool and splashing in the water that he mostly forgot to even eat his lunch! I pulled a mug and plastic container out there too and he was filling one and then pouring it into the other. Watching his fascination was totally fascinating to us.

I have pictures, but I haven't uploaded them yet. Maybe later tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Just not yet.

After that we had his naptime and... um... grown-up time. *cough* and then we watched the other movie after dinner. Two very different movies - Saturday was Constantine, and today was Closer. Talk about two different movies. Constantine was a fun, somewhat predictable, movie if you take it from a certain perspective going into it. Enjoyable, but what I expected it to be - nothing more or extraordinary to be honest. Closer, was strange. Brian and I both agreed afterwards that it was an interesting "play". As a play, it was very cool. While it was technically an ensemble piece about four characters and the journey they go through as a result of their relationships that entertwine with each other, there was only one character who really ended up better off and having honestly grown for it in the end. I didn't like the jumps in time that they made throughout the movie though, it left it feeling disjointed. An interesting ensemble piece, with some great actors, but I have a feeling it was a better play. I kept having to stop and try to figure out what happened "between" the scenes so I knew why the characters were reacting the way they were. And the one flashback was out of place after I had finally gotten used to seeing them jump sections of time. The acting was good. I can tell it was a play too, however, because of the dialogue. Some "films" like to overplay the dialogue with big words and fancy phrasing that people would rarely, if ever, use in real conversation. I am accustomed to seeing it here and there in movies, but it always leaves me feeling like they were trying too hard to be "art" instead of connect with their viewers.

But, whatever, that's just my take on it. And a brief one at that. I'm off for now. The little one is in bed and Brian and I are going to have a little more computer game before he hops off to bed and I sit, hoping my stupid body will let me go to bed at a reasonable hour. We'll see.

And, no, the milk thing didn't really seem to work. Bummer.

G'night!

Current Mood: contemplative

Walkabout...

I drove two hours (one there and one back) to acquire a bean bag for Jareth today. It is blue. I have wiped it down, even though it looked pretty clean to begin with, and stuck it in his room to the sounds of him saying "bean bag" over and over again. He said it many times on the way back from picking it up too. After we got back, we tried to brave a rummage sale before coming home.

It was terrifying. I should have either put Jareth in the stroller or not gone at all. As it was we made a quick circuit, glancing briefly over some of the tables just piled up with stuff, and then retreated as quickly as I could manage a path with a little boy clinging to my thumb. Thrift shops are one thing, but I may just avoid rummage sales in the future. Too crowded. Too loud. Too much chaos for quiet little ole' me. *shudder*

Then there were a couple of garage sales on the block so we walked around once to check them out. I was pleased that after him walking up and back down three flights of stairs while picking up the bean bag and then around an entire block when we got back - he actually took a nap without complaining. Unfortunately, this particular solution requires a bit of extra energy on my part to accomplish. *sigh*

Ironically enough, about five minutes after getting in from walking around the block - I saw The Walker walk by the house.

Anyway... that's today. I'm being paged by my little boy to go help read to him and tuck him in. Then - ICE CREAM. Mommy CRAVES. Mmmm.

G'night!

Current Mood: hungry

These eyes...

From the playground today, my ever curious little guy...

I'm lost in those precious eyes.

G'night!

Current Mood: busy

Rumble, rumble, rumble...

Today, Jareth discovered one of the benefits to having his "big boy" bed. When I went in to get him, he was kneeling on his pillow, holding the curtain to one side so he could peer out the window.

"Rain!" he told me, pointing. "Rain!"

I sat and watched with him as he said "Rumble, rumble, rumble" (although, honestly it comes out more like "rummle, rummle, rummle" most of the time) when the thunder rumbled overhead. He also pointed at my car parked in the driveway and informed me confidently that it was a "car." I nodded my head and explained:

"Yep. That's mommy's car."

"Mommy's car," he solemnly repeated, nodding his head.

For a while, we just sat there and watched the rain.

My little guy. Staring out the window, enthralled by watching the rain to the point that he forgot that mommy had overslept some so he hadn't had his breakfast yet. He is SO my little boy. When he went downstairs he pointed and insisted I immediately open the drapes so we could watch the rain there too. (although it did take me a minute to figure out what "dapes" actually meant. The pointing helped.)

It had stopped raining by the time we had to go outside though, so no dancing in it for us today. Oh well. Maybe next time.

G'night!

Current Mood: enthralled

And now,

Betcha thought I forgot, didn't ya? Nope! Finally remembered this week!

Would you rather:
1. meet willy wonka OR ghandi?
Ghandi. Totally.
2. chug a full bottle of pepto-bismol OR drink two gallons of whole milk?
Pepto-bismol. One bottle sounds far less painful, and I am accustomed to intestinal discomfort enough that I think I could survive the 24 hours of hell that would likely ensue. That, and the fact that I don't think I'm physcially capable of actually drinking two gallons of whole milk in one sitting.
3. be on the receiving end of an atomic wedgie OR purple nurple?
Purple nurple. It sounds far less traumatic.
4. watch a movie marathon of all of pauly shore's films OR ian mckellen's films?
Easy one. Ian McKellen, no contest. You've got Shakespeare, Lord of the Rings, AND X-men in there! I'm SO there!

And now for something completely... not really different, nor surprising.

I've finally set up a Gallery for my images. Right now it's a bit messy in there, as the gallery can't seem to figure out that all the pictures weren't actually uploaded to my server on the same date, but no guarantees on when it will get cleaned up. In the meantime, the images will now go into there too, until I figure out all the little nuances to using it. Right now it should contain most of the pictures that I've put up on this blog so far. A couple got left out on purpose, but only because they weren't pictures I took, but stuff I referenced from the web.

I've got one from today too... My little playground zombie:

Brian's got news, but I won't spoil it. I'll make y'all wait in anticipation. Maybe it'll give him a few extra hits on his blog this week. *grin* I expect he'll also be blogging about a friend of his as well, since he hadn't seen the friend in years and years until we had dinner with him tonight, as he was in the area. I thought the guy was nice. He and his wife have seven kids and an eight on the way! Egads! *clutches abdomen* I think NOT for this girl! I might be able to picture having one or two more than the two we've planned on having, but the jury is still out on whether or not we will even try for more after the one I'm carrying. Most certainly not EIGHT !!! I think while we were in the motorhome we once discussed what would happen if we had just six (since a couple parked near us somehow had six kids packed into their motorhome with them!). We determined we would lose one. In fact we both looked at each other and simultaneously said the following:

"Okay kids... where's Jimmy?"

Thus, we have not only resolved to never have as many as six children, but we have also resolved to NEVER, EVER, name a child "Jimmy" as we would most assuredly LOSE THAT CHILD! Eek!

Which just gave me an interesting thought - if we really, really, really can't find a way to handle the pregnancy financially, didn't someone auction off the right to name their child on e-bay? Maybe we could...

No. Nevermind. I do NOT have enough faith in mankind to put the naming of my unborn child up for sale. I'd end up with a "Francis Weiner" for a boy or "Lucy Panties" for a girl with my luck. *runs off shuddering to clean her mind out with soap*

G'night!

Current Mood: nerdy

Ribbit!

Due to a cloud of grumpiness currently hanging over Brian and myself, we needed to break out of the house tonight. So we went and saw Revenge of The Sith finally. We hastily booked my in-laws to come over and watch Jareth for the evening so we could get our minds off a few things for at least a couple of hours. Aahhh.

The jury is still in deliberations on what we thought of the movie. I'm not sure if I'll review it or not. I don't always write one up here. I think I liked it okay. It had some cool action scenes anyway. And I don't know about all this fuss over yoda - R2's da MAN DROID! Don't mess with that little bugger!

Oops... spam comment just came in as I'm typing this. I guess it's time to go change some files again. They keep cropping up now and again.

In the meantime, instead of ordinary filler, I give you FROG:

Taken at the Cooley Zoo last week.

G'night!

Current Mood: gloomy

It's always something...

I'm thinking again. Thinking hard about returning into that little shell of mine. You see, if there's one thing that the swiftly-changing hormones of pregnancy does to me, it makes me actually speak my mind about certain things. Brian knows this VERY WELL from the last time. Oh, believe me, over the course of that nine months he learned about a LOT of things I'd been bottling up previously. At least it helped us sort some of those things out better before Jareth was ever born.

This time around, I blog. Which may save a few handfuls of hair on Brian's head at least. I have my own little personal space on the internet to rant whenever I damned well please, about whatever I damned well please. How cool is that? Sometimes my ranting gets personal, sometimes it's not.

Yesterday's post, was one of those personal posts. I spoke my mind, as I was attempting to quiet my soul and most of the tears I'd been holding back for a good majority of the day. And now, one of the people who was there yesterday has read it (and linked it for the others), and seems to have misinterpreted quite a bit. There's been a knee-jerk reaction to it. We'll see what happens when the others read it, since now they likely will. For the moment, I'm not going to respond right away to the e-mail that went 'round to everyone. There was no attempt to take anything up with me directly. No attempt to ask for clarification or explanation. That e-mail went to the entire group. Frankly, I'm too surprised to address it directly just yet.

It's not as if this blog was ever a secret. Perhaps I'm just too accustomed to most people I actually know in my real life not bothering with it very often. I've made repeated suggestions to a few people I know and don't get to see often, like my sister, that this is the place to keep up with the stuff going on in my life. She's not as into computers as I am though, so she really only pops in here every now and again. Heck, some people I know can't even manage e-mail, much less my blog. My uncle keeps toying with me that he might join the modern age and get an answering machine, so I don't expect him to purchase a computer anytime soon. And he pretty much trashes any snail mail that doesn't come from a utility company or a goverment office. Which means one of these days I'll get around to trying to call him and catch him at home. Then I can let him know I'm pregnant again. At least my sister saw it in the e-mail I sent her.

Technically, this is not the first time I have had some backlash as a result of this blog. But I don't think I've ever been left with the impression that it was taken so entirely not how I thought I had said it. I guess my attempt at discretion by not naming who specifically did what to hurt me is half the problem. But I don't often name anyone specifically when I break out into a rant. That's just a general rule among most bloggers from what I've seen.

If I cannot speak up for myself in person with people, when feeling hurt, but have things I would say were I a more assertive individual, should I have to fear putting these things down on my weblog? No. This is my space. My journal. This is where the dragon in me resides most clearly. This virtual pen and paper is sometimes my only way of voicing what I need to say. I bend my will and way far too often to accomodate everyone else's opinions and desires of me. This blog is one garden where I am attempting to grow stronger with time. I will not quiet the voice that speaks here.

Though I will sometimes delay all that I have to say, while I turn things over in my mind. So that heralds the end of the post for tonight.

G'night.

Current Mood: pensive

Bottle Uncorked...

What is it about me that allows people to walk all over me or otherwise abuse me all the time? Even in my own house! Sometimes, I get so frustrated and my overall opinion of people in general dips again. I don't want to go through another "bitter" stage where I stop talking to people and attempting to make new friends because I'm afraid of being disappointed again. But I already see myself drawing back into my shell, cancelling more and more activities because I'm tired. Not just physically, although that's true too these days, but emotionally. Tired of being either assumed or just invisible.

Although lately, I'm apparently stupid too!

We had another of our roleplaying game sessions today. This is supposed to be fun for all, where we slip into the personas of other characters and have the chance to look at exciting adventures from a totally different perspective. To step out of the boring, mundane day-to-day life and let our imaginations take over for a few hours (except for when Jareth requires attention, of course, but he likes to entertain - he runs around handing his toys to everyone and gleefully telling them "thank you" while he does it. He also gets to eat dinner in the living room and eat lots of crackers the rest of the time.).

But today, it seemed as if I and my character were both going to have ourselves be ignored or interrupted at any given chance. On the rare occasion I did get to say anything (my character got less of a chance than I did and she's supposed to be the "bold" one, but she got bored with trying earlier than I did) I aparently said the MOST STUPID THING POSSIBLE about whatever it was being discussed. Because immediately afterwards an entire conversation would erupt around me to basically make sure I knew that I had just said the MOST STUPID THING POSSIBLE. Even when I quietly tried to end it by saying that I must have remembered something wrong, they kept going on and on about it for another five minutes.

I guess I am just not as well-read, well-educated, up on current events, up on historical events, well-versed in movies or music, or well-informed on just about anything to please this particular group of people. It seems that ANY conversation I try to join in on ends up with me being made to feel small and insignificant, uninformed, or as if I am so far out there in my opinions that I can never, EVER expect anyone to comprehend things like why I don't like salty foods and why I might not want my son being brought up eating lots of salt (just for one example). I feel like nearly every opinion I might have mentioned has been scrutinized and rejected as another one of my "anal retentive bits of stupidity" that I ought to just "get over" and join up with the rest of the cattle or something.

Except coasters. I've managed to get them to use coasters and finally even put down the lid on the toilet most of the time. But otherwise I might as well just cook dinner and shut the fuck up until it's time to roll dice for mycharacter to do whatever she's been told to do, because my opinions and input won't matter anyway. And even if it does get heard, it will be subject to at least two to ten minutes of ridicule before being dismissed as another thing that's "wrong" with me.

I could cry. In fact I did cry. Twice. I just ran off and hid while I did it.

Maybe I'm just more emotional because I'm pregnant, but what kind of example am I setting for my son if I let people treat me like that in my own home? Normally I can just brush it off better as "they probably don't really mean it that way, it's just how I'm perceiving it" and I let it go. But today it just felt ten times worse than normal.

I didn't even get any feedback on whether or not they liked dinner! They seemed to eat it all just fine, and they were obviously hungry as I was basically given the impression I needed to have it ready earlier than I had planned to. It all got eaten, but I was left with no real clue on if they had any interest in eating that particular meal again at a later date. Usually that particular recipe goes over rather well.

Is it possible that while I'm pregnant I give off some odor or something that makes everyone around me want to walk all over me?

No. Wait. That happens all the time. To hell with the walrus, I am the Doormat.

*sigh*

So now I need to wind down from my day of supposed winding down. I guess I'll let my frustrations leak out into a computer game for a short bit before bed.

And no, so far the milk is not working to help me fall asleep and stay asleep. *long-suffering sigh* But I did get to sleep in a bit this morning while Brian took Jareth off to the little kids' gymnastics class. Those two lately seem to be developing a bond that involves various forms of "flipping" Jareth. Fortunately they seem to be keeping it over soft surfaces, thus avoiding my potential heart attacks.

G'night!

Current Mood: distressed

Those Bedtime Blues...

Bedtime went well enough last night. He was tired out enough from a busy day of camp and errands, and the flurry of excitement and activity that went into putting up his new bed. He did cry for a short while, but then seemed to sleep fine in his new big bed.

Naptime today, on the other hand, was a screaming, banging, unhappy adventure. I tried putting him down when I knew he was ready for a nap, but he just wanted me to stay up there and play with him. The first time I gave him the option of napping or coming back downstairs with me. He didn't want to come downstairs, so I plopped him down on his bed, said g'nap, and left the room.

He did NOT like that at ALL!

I eventually caved and let him come downstairs again and play for a while more. Then it was naptime for sure, so I took him up there again.

Let's just say he was less than exemplary this time too.

The bouts of screaming and banging his little knuckles on the door hoping I'd come back lasted about 10 minutes at a time. In between, I could hear his feet banging on the floor as he ran around playing. Then he'd remember again and repeat the process. I clocked him doing that for a good hour before he seemed to settle down. I think he got an hour's nap, maybe an hour and a half at best, but I wouldn't count on it.

I think this "big boy bed" thing will take some slight adjustments on his part. I was firm though. I had the temptation to put him in the crib for his nap, but it helped that we have kind of blocked of the crib with a small bookcase until we can take it down. Maybe tomorrow will go better. At least bedtime tonight seems like it wasn't too bad. *knocks on wood*

That's all for now. It's SciFi Friday again. Which means I've got a decision to make. Either I'm about to watch another episode of a new season of shows I like, or I'm about to go get "grown-up" with my husband. I know, I know... just because we've already gotten me knocked up doesn't mean we still can't have some fun! And the episode is being recorded for us too, just in case we were to have a big interruption while watching it. I mean c'mon! Rwar!

Feel free to take bets on which one it's gonna be. *wicked grin*

G'night!

Current Mood: horny

Of Beds, and not sleeping in them...

Well, continuing in my new phase of "not lifting anything heavy" I accepted the HUGELY heavy package from UPS today - Jareth's new bed! I did leave it sitting in the kitchen after trying to push it only a few feet and nearly ripping myself a new hernia. Once Brian came home tonight, however, all bets were off as we hauled some furniture out of Jareth's room and the big box of "some assembly required" up into it. While assembly was thankfully not overly complicated, it was still hard, sweaty work. I'm sitting here contemplating having a late-night shower prior to my late-night snack and late-night glass of milk laced with something yummy.

Oh - I tried that last night. Laced it nicely up with some horchata cappucino flavoring we bought through the employee price list while Brian was still working at Sara Lee. Yummy stuff. It took about an hour after drinking it down before the milk seemed to kick in, making me yawn something fierce. Thinking it was a good sign, I zoomed up to bed, hoping for the best.

I got a whole three hours sleep last night. Maybe four, if you count the occasional dozing between all the tossing and turning. It could have been worsened by the iced tea I'd accidentally ordered at dinner without thinking though, so the jury is still out. I'll probably try again tonight, but then that might not be a good judge yet either, as I'm totally wiped from no sleep last night and then errands and furniture assembly today.

Sleeeeep. Zombie mommy need sleeeeep.

We still have to get the crib out of there, and there is some concern about him falling out. The safety rails I got from some guy on freecycle are great, but a little worn in. If he pushes too hard on it, it might pop out of the bracket and send him tumbling. We've lined up his thick sheepskin rug next to the bed so that if that happens it will help break the fall. He's also not to graceful at clambering off the bed yet. I got a step thing for helping him get on, and he keeps going down at the same end, so he bumps into it. I suspect we may see a couple of bruised knees for a week or so until he gets the hang of it. We've tried explaining, but sometimes you just gotta let the kid figure stuff out on his own.

Now it's time to go try and tuck him into bed for the first time. I wonder how long he'll actually stay in it. This could go very well or very poorly indeed.

*crosses fingers*

G'night!

Current Mood: hopeful

The postman may ring twice, but the UPS guy only rings once while dumping the package in the dirt!

So, RainMoon reminds me last night that now that I'm pregnant I shouldn't be lifting anything heavy. And what do I go rushing off to do tonight? Buy a mattress. Yup.

But it's just a twin, for Jareth's new bed once it arrives. And Brian met me out at the place to help me pick one out and then do the worst of the "lifting" end of things. Not that a twin mattress is really very heavy in the first place. It's the bed that worries me. And the fact that the UPS guy is bringing it. And that he's now probably pretty pissed at me.

Did I mention about the latest UPS incident? Nope. I got distracted. It happens. I also keep forgetting to do Tuesday is Chooseday too, but I think I had a valid excuse yesterday. Maybe I'll remember to do that one next week. Wouldn't want TJ to think I'd forgotten all about it.

So Monday, I'm sitting here quietly dividing my attention between working on my collage of the zoo and paying attention to the various toys that Jareth seems to think require my inspection as he lines them up on the edge of my desk or puts them in piles on the floor next to me. I suppose we've moved on from him collecting them in piles on my LAP, so hey - progress is good. Anyway, the doorbell rings and I launch myself out of my chair so that I can answer the door in a reasonable amount of time after navigating my way through the obstacle course of toys that develops each day on the family room floor between my desk and the stairs to the kitchen. I survive the fisher price minefield and even avoid stomping on the cat lounging across the stairs. I get to the door and nobody is there.

Now, it took me less than 30 seconds to do all this. I'm quite sure of it. I'm an old pro at running to answer the door or the phone. When I lean out the door, however, I see the UPS truck. And then it starts to pull away.

Now, I've mentioned there's been a problem with them putting it under the mat. I've made a nice, readable sign that is stuck to the glass inside the screen door - right BY THE DOORBELL. It starts out with the word "deliveries:" and then gives INSTRUCTIONS. Aparently UPS only hires the illiterate. *sigh*

So I vault myself outside, down the stoop, and run barefoot down my driveway and then the sidewalk, trying to flag down the UPS guy. Fortunately he had a stop a couple houses down or I don't know how far I might have gone. Mind you, I was in "lounge mode" which meant no makeup, no bra, just a tank top and shorts. For the weather, just fine. For the neighborhood? Well, I'm not in the habit of bouncing my nipples around for show-and-tell, okay? Yeah. Oy.

So I manage to get the guy's attention (he was particularly oblivious) and ask him where the hell my package was. I'd taken a glance on my way out, so I knew it wasn't on the patio table, where the sign says to put it IF I'M NOT HOME! First he tells me he doesn't "have to wait if a signature isn't needed." So, in other words, if he doesn't need a signature, he tosses it in the first icky, disgusting place he finds and then hits the bell button on his way back to the truck, eh? I made him read the sign when he came back to show me where he'd left the package (on the groun between the garbage can and the cement stoop) before he shrugged, glanced back at the patio, and then walked off back to his truck. I suppose the soggy leaves between the garbage and the stoop is a slight improvement over blocking the door by putting it under the mat with the soggy leaves and dirt that tend to collect under there. We have several trees in and around our yard that seem to hone in on MY driveway when it's time to fall, and I haven't had time this year to really keep up with them. At least Monday's leaves weren't soggy, but they still stuck to the box something nasty. Yuck! Frustrated, I finally lodged an official complaint through their online "claims" section (since they didn't have a section titled "bitch about your delivery driver" in there to use instead).

I did get an e-mail and a phone call today, much to my surprise. They supposedly will do something about it. I even have a phone number for some local person who I can call back if the packages keep getting left in the ickiest place possible.

We shall see. My overall faith in the UPS system is not of the highest level. Perhaps this is will raise the bar a little. I can only wait and hope. I have a couple packages on their way to me via UPS - Jareth's bed, and 25 lbs of green coffee beans for Brian and his dad to roast up. Mmmmm... Ethiopian coffee... In decaf too, so I can still drink it while pregnant, and maybe still have a slim chance of sleeping at night. At the rate I'm going I might have to start trying warm glasses of milk at night or something. But I hate the taste of un-chocolated milk. And I don't know how badly the chocolate would counteract the milk effect. Or if it would even work anyway. It's a thought though. Maybe I'll try some tonight. We'll see.

Last, but not least, I just remembered that it's my friend Juli's birthday!

She moved far, far away last month. To the east coast. I don't even have an e-mail address or I'd e-mail her too. Oh well. Maybe she'll see this instead. *smiles hopefully*

G'night!

Current Mood: still bouncy about being pregnant!

A little thing regarding a rabbit...

I was going to tell about the Cosley Zoo today, and how it was fun to take Jareth around and see their animals even though we'd just done the Brookfield Zoo over the weekend. They have this lovely little duck pond where we sat for a while and watched the ducks and their kids (not quite babies anymore, but still fluffy around the edges) bobbing and floating and flapping themselves dry around the water.

I even have pictures. A really cool of of a frog, too. But I got distracted by something else today. So I'll give you a different picture instead. One I took this afternoon...

Yep. That explains a LOT about why I haven't been sleeping lately, I've been breaking out like a teenager again, and I've got the "hungries" something fierce. I just figured it was my grumpiness from only two hours sleep last night that caused me to buy two packages of cookies today, despite the recent dieting I've been doing. But then, on the Fourth of July, I was devouring fruit like it was going out of style for some reason. I just couldn't get enough! It seemed strange, but my period wasn't late by that point so I wrote it off to the allergies problems and my body wanting extra of something. I've been suffering pretty bad from my allergies this summer and I've written quite a bit off as being related to that.

The real questions right now are 1) when's my due date/when exactly did we conceive 2) how are we going to pay for this with no insurance (although we've been getting some info on that already and it looks like we won't be totally screwed like we thought) and 3) boy or girl? There seems to already be a strange leaning of people suggesting "twins", but then some people suggested that last time too. I just want another healthy baby.

Now I know why the cats have been looking at me funny too. Nora knew before I did last time too.

Well, this mommy needs some sleep.

G'night!

Current Mood: bouncy

Zoo Collage...

I made the collage. It's big. Really, really big. So the more reasonably sized-down version can be found by clicking on the thumnail of it. If you want to see the really, really BIG (like more than 3 megs big) version then you can click here instead. Just be aware that if you don't have DSL or Cable bringing your internet to you, you might want to go have dinner or something while it loads. Don't say I didn't warn ya. If you want the slighly less resolutioned instant gratification version, then use the thumnail:

Enjoy!

Current Mood: hungry

Ralph's World, No Lions, No Tigers, Bears POOPING, and Butterfly PORN! Ohhhhh MY!

So today we hit Brookfield Zoo, as we'd found out through the Ralph's World newsletter that there would be a performance there today. Since Brian has been missing out on quite a few "firsts" lately (first trip to the pool, for example), so we decided that the first trip to a real zoo (Randall Oaks Barnyard Zoo notwithstanding) would be something that he'd be involved in. Timing for a super fun day intact, we loaded the "big stroller" into the back of my car and hit the road.

I'd say we left nice and early, but then I'd be lying. I'm having a terrible time sleeping lately, even with the nice hepafilter thingy screening out the allergens through the air conditioning. There IS this naggling part of me that is tempted to take a pregnancy test and check on that, since I had considerable sleep issues during the last pregnancy. But I'll wait at least a week before I start ripping open the box. I'm not late yet. Technically.

Anyway, I didn't get to sleep until about 3am and then got something less than 4 hours before it was time to get up. Which basically meant it was actually next to impossible for anyone - alarm clock, Brian, OR my son - to manage to convince my sleepy, sorry ass that I should get out of bed. I was totally out of it and by the time we left the house we were already running a couple hours later than we intended. We got to the zoo in time to catch lunch before the Ralph's World show started. We watched most of the show before we figured we'd better hit some of the zoo too, before Jareth started getting antsy for the lack of nap today.

I haven't been to the zoo in a long while. Some mental calculations makes it probably about 15 years. It's changed a bit. But word to the wise - don't buy food at the bigger food "cafes" and such. Stick to the ice cream and soda and pack a cooler for everything else. Zoo food still sucks. Maybe not quite as bad as I remember it, but I could still smell 15 years ago... eww.

As for the title... Suffice it to say that we never actually got to the area that had the lions and tigers, nearly every single bear I tried to take pictures of moved to a better location for me to take a picture but then turned its butt towards me and promptly began taking a SHIT! I managed to not get mid-turd pictures, or piles of steaming turd for that matter, but I did get one LOVELY shot of a bear mid-stream pissing just prior to taking it's dump. Don't worry. I'll share. Promise. *murderous grin*

The Ralph's World show rocked. Literally, since he does quite a few tunes in a very rock 'n roll style. I'd recommend it to pretty much anyone with a kid or more over the age of two. Jareth is only just beginning to be ready for this kind of stuff as it is. He clapped at the end of songs when he saw others clapping, and I think I caught him tapping his foot once although I can't guarantee he wasn't just mimicking me. He does love music though, and was pretty content despite the gazillion-degree temperature when the tent was packed. We weren't able to get incredibly close to the stage though, so I don't think he was totally aware of where the music was coming from. Ralph likes to bring the crowd into it, so there's more commentary than you hear on his CDs. I suspect Jareth just thought I was playing a different "mix" of the usual stuff is all. The original Ralph's World CD is one of the standbys that I keep handy in the car for when I'm wanting something fun with lyrics that I'm willing to let my kid listen to. I'm very picky about what goes in the car with me, and that's one of three CDs in the 10-slot pouch that has Ralph on it. The other two are from some of the other music Ralph has done. I think he's actually only competing with three other discs that stay perpetually in the car. The other slots rotate around or stay empty.

Of the zoo stuff I think my favorite stuff that we had the time to see was the wolf exhibit and the butterfly exhibit. There was also an interactive family area that Jareth loved and where they had several small animals available for petting (hampster, baby guinea pig, & bunnies). Both the butterfly thing and the family thing cost extra but were well worth it. The "children's zoo" cost extra as well, but half the animals were hiding from the heat and the other half were less than enthusiastic about being out in it. We had bought a package where we chose three things out of the "paid exhibits" vs. the whole zoo access package or the zoo admittance only ticket which would have meant paying for the rest individually. They also had a dolphin show and a safari ride (read open bus tour of the zoo with narration) that we could have bought but didn't worry about. Jareth just saw the dolphins recently anyway, and tours like that are usually about as exciting as the monotone voice of the poor employee having to repeat it for each and every ride all day long.

The wolf habitat was really cool. I think I managed to get some really neat pictures too, despite the distance between them and us. They've got a really big area to roam in compared to most of the exhibits it seems. And much more natural-seeming than some of the other areas too. There were three of them that we saw (I'm not sure how many they have there) lounging at the top of a hill and watching the people watching them.

An interesting thing I learned today - when wolves are howling, they will each howl differently. If two wolves start on the same key, one will change to a new one. Apparently a pack of 6 to 8 wolves wants to sound like a pack of 6 to 8 wolves - that way their enemies know that it's more than just a couple and will keep their distance. There was a darkroom with blacklights and "stars" on the ceiling where you could stand and listen to a recording of wolves howling together. It was cool. After we'd gotten home and eaten dinner, we all started howling after talking about the wolves again. Howling in my own kitchen, I picked a different note to howl on to help keep my neighbors at bay. I suppose it might have been more effective had we been in the backyard...

I found myself especially entranced by the butterflies. I've got some phenomenal pictures from that exhibit - a large netted tent filled with a flower garden and a path and a bunch of butterflies flying freely about. They have two small buildings you have to go through - one on the way in and one on the way out - to help make sure they lose as few butterflies as possible on people's clothing or from people holding doors open for too long. We didn't have any land on us, but I was like a kid running after them and snapping as many pictures as possible. I expect they might unbalance it a little when I put the collage together tomorrow. It would take me too long to do tonight, so I'll wait to do my usually "event collage" of pictures sometime tomorrow after I've slept. It will look better that way. I've also got a picture of two butterflies mating. Can you think of reasons we didn't worry so much that we never got to the monkey exhibit? Hmm? *click-click*

Here's something I've noticed about myself lately - I hate bugs when they are in my house. I can't wait to have them bodily removed dead or alive if I find them invading my home. But if I find them in the wild or a situation like a zoo? I can't wait to slip my camera into "macro mode" and start getting close-ups of their little feelers and antennae. Go figure. So far my favorite subjects aside from my kid are plants and bugs. *rolls eyes* Is there some bug magazine I could get a job with? Except then I might have to be around lots of bugs and I'm not so sure about that... Maybe a plant magazine would be better. I got some flower pictures today too.

Anyway. I'm pooped, tired, shattered, wrecked, and any other word you can come up with to describe the total and utter exhaustion that comes from taking one's two-year-old to the zoo. With no nap. And less sleep for ME than I ought to have had the night before such an event. On that note...

G'night!

Current Mood: tired

Thinking...

I'm thinking. About a few things...

1) Googling beds since we're ready to move Jareth into his own big bed and Brian's childhood bed is not going to work out. It doesn't fit where we need it to go and requires some construction changes to stop scaring me that it will just fall apart if he should start jumping on it. And it's kinda high for him too. I bought him a stepstool to get up onto it today and at one point he went *kerclunk* onto the floor. Fortunately he landed on his huge sheepskin rug. We have to get a mattress for it regardless, but now we're looking for a new bed for the kid too. And trying to keep it in a somewhat affordable budget. Which is tough, since we did just pop for a swingset not long ago.

2) I'm setting up to run a roleplay campaign for Brian in our off time. So I'm contemplating different stuff relating to that.

3) Allergies. They suck. BIG TIME! The filter in our heat/air conditioning system had slipped out of place and was a cheap one to begin with. I'd recently bought the next replacement, which was an expensive hepa-filter one, so he put that one in instead. I had little to no sleep last night (prior to him changing the filter) as my nose was running, my eyes itching/burning, my sinuses hurting, etc, etc, etc. I'm still having some trouble but it's a smidge better. I have to learn to quit going to all these picnics and other stuff that has me romping about in the pretty outside. Except I can't, because Jareth wants to play. But he's suffering from the same allergies I am. I can't wait to move the hell out of the midwest. *cry*

4) Friends. One who I haven't heard from since May, when he didn't come to a party because life had gotten "complicated" on him suddenly. I thought Brian had called or e-mailed him to find out what was up, but we haven't heard from him. Not good.

And another friend whom I'm upset at, but at the same time don't want to lose. I want to tell her that I forgive her, on one hand, but on the other I want to let her know that I feel as if I've been pushed aside and that I'm not very important to her. I have let an e-mail sit in my box (after rescuing it from my e-mail program which suddenly decided it was spam) for about a day now, not having a clue on how to respond. I've had too many friendships where someone has walked all over me because I let them and then I just let the friendship slowly slip away until it wasn't there anymore as I made myself unavailable to get walked all over again.

I'm tired of being invisible. Of being the one that will always "understand" when they don't get a phone call or get left sitting on the sidewalk waiting. The friend in question ought to understand how I feel on that matter, as I get the impression she's been there before. So it was quite a surprise to have her do it to me. I don't want to lose her friendship, but I also don't want to be disregarded, forgotten, or otherwise placed second or less important than everything else.

I'm always second. I'm always invisible. And I'm very, very tired of feeling that way.

5) All the rest of the crap on my usual list of things I have to do, be, or otherwise attend to in some manner or other. You know - the usual crap.

Enough for now. I need to return to distracting myself. At least tomorrow is our group roleplaying thing. Which means I'll get to slip into another persona for a while. And her troubles can generally be solved by blowing shit up. I may be a pacifist in reality, but I sure do love having the opportunity to blow pretend shit up. I find it highly relaxing.

G'night!

Current Mood: discontent

100 Things About Me (sort of)

I've gotten a couple of those e-mails with a bunch of questions in them to answer about oneself, so I'm smooshing them all together here into one post. Maybe one of these days I'll do the usual "100 things about me" type of post too. We'll see. Five of these were either changed or added due to repeat questions and the like in the two different e-mails...

1. First name? Amy.

2. Were you named after anyone? No.

3. Day person or Night person? Night.

4. When did you last cry? July 4th during a particularly emotional part in the movie we watched.

5. Do you like your handwriting? No.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Roast beef.

7. What is your birth date? April 12th.

8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Not sure. I'd have to check, but I'm sure there's at least one.

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Absolutely.

10. Do you have a journal? Um. Yeah. You're readin' it.

11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sometimes.

12. What are your nicknames? Rain/Rayn, Soe (on EverQuest), Mommy, and I was called "punkin" by my mom when I was little and then later Aim (which I loathe) and there are two people in existence who can get away with "Amers" without me threatening physical harm upon their person. In the end, though, most people just call me Amy unless I'm online.

13. Would you bungee jump? No.

14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No.

15. Do you think that you are strong? Only when the shit hits the fan.

16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Godiva's Belgium Dark Chocolate.

17. Shoe size? Usually around an 8 1/2.

18. Red or pink? Red.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? How cynically I've come to look at most of the rest of humanity.

20. What do you miss most? The motorhome.

21. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? I don't generally send these kind of things out to others.

22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue jammy shorts and no shoes.

23. What are you listening to right now? My husband trying to convince my son to come downstairs and play.

24. Last thing you ate? Dinner - the pasta salad I made waaaay too much of for yesterday.

25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Sky Blue. That and Sea Green were always my favorite ones.

26. What is the weather like right now? Pretty nice in my air conditioning. *grin*

27. Last person you talked to on the phone? Some telemarketer who wanted to "help" me refinance my mortgage. *grumble*

28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? The attitude with which they carry themself.

29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. Although I don't know her extremely well yet. Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to get to know her better.

30. Favorite Drink? Iced tea, no lemon. Or tequila if we're talking liquor.

31. Favorite drug? I don't do drugs.

32. Favorite sport? Air hockey. *grin*

33. Last time you exercised? Yesterday I took a walk in the park with friends. Does that count?

34. Eye Color? Blue.

35. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. I do have some reading glasses but I never have time to read anymore anyway and only need them if I'm doing a LOT of reading.

36. Favorite Food? Oooh, that's too tough to judge. I love all kinds of food.

37. Last Movie You Watched? Batman Begins.

38. Favorite Day of the Year? My birthday. I can allow myself to be a little bit selfish and not feel at all guilty about it.

39. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy Endings.

40. Summer Or Winter? Winter.

41. Greatest day of your life so far? The day I gave birth to my son.

42. Hugs OR Kisses? Long, slow, toe-curling kisses that make you tingle in certain places.

43. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Angel food cake with buttercream frosting.

44. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? Nobody, since I won't be sending this out to anyone. (although I'll send a link to the person who sent it to me)

45. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? Um. See above.

46. Living arrangements? House.

47. Sleeping arrangements? King-sized bed, shared with Brian.

48. What's your favorite book? Not sure. There's a few I come back to though. Ones by Anne McCaffery, George R.R. Martin and Robert Jordan come to mind.

49. What is your favorite CD? Currently Shango, by Juno Reactor.

50. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? I didn't watch TV last night.

51. Favorite Smells? I used to love the smell of baking bread best of all. I can't smell that one anymore though, but I do get a lovely floral smell when I work with hemp, making jewelry out of it.

52. Favorite Room? My son's room - I worked hard on that one to make it nice for him.

53. Favorite Sounds? The waves of the ocean as they roll in and crash on the beach.

54. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles.

55. What's the furthest you've been from home? I'm not sure which is farthest - Seattle, WA, Las Vegas, NV, Ft. Lauderdale, FL or Stratford, Ontario. And I'm too lazy to look them up to find out for sure.

56. Do you have a special talent? I'd like to think so, but I couldn't say for sure what it was.

57. What celebrity could you totally do without? I'm thinking Michael Jackson.

58. What's your favorite computer game? Probably EverQuest, although I also enjoy Pretty Good Solitaire and Puzzle Master 3.

59. What's your dream job? To own and run a small theatre, and be involved with the production of some of the plays, as well as book acts to perform there.

60. Best money or best job? Huh? I'd take a job I liked over more money if I had the option to choose. I already am, since my main job is being a mom right now. No money in that.

61. What would you do with an extra $100? Buy a new mattress for Jareth's "big boy bed" since we're about ready to move him into it. Assuming $100 would actually stretch that far.

62. What disease would you cure if given the chance? Aids.

63. What has been/will be the highlight of your week? Probably role-playing on Saturday.

64. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would that be? Anywhere with a lower pollen count. *rubs eyes*

65. Did we learn anything from this? No, not really.

66. What color are your kitchen plates? White and white with greenish rims.

67. What book are you reading now? The Complete Idiot's Guide to Paganism, by Carl McColman. I borrowed it for some overview on the various aspects.

68. What is on your mousepad? The IKEA logo. Don't ask. I'm not overly fond of IKEA.

69. Favorite board game? Rummy Cube. Although it doesn't exactly have a board.

70. Least favorite smell? Vomit. Fortunately I can't really smell that much either now.

71. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Damnit bladder, I don't WANNA get up yet!

72. Favorite color? Blue.

73. Least favorite color? Pink. Froo-froo, girly, pink.

74. How many rings until you answer the phone? usually 2.

75. Future child's name? Sarah Helen. We're not sure on what a boy would be named yet.

76. Chocolate or Vanilla? Probably chocolate, but sometimes it depends on the item and my mood.

77. Do you like to drive fast? I would love to, but I like being alive better so I don't.

78. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Not unless you count my body pillow.

79. Do you like thunderstorms? Absolutely.

80. What was your first car? I don't remember anymore.

81. What is your sign? Aries.

82. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Not by choice, but yes.

83. What is your middle name? Marie.

84. If you could have any color hair, what would it be? A deep red. And the freckled complexion to go with it.

85. Is the glass half full or half empty? It's at half. Accept that and move on already.

86. Favorite movie? Tough call. Maybe The Princess Bride or The Fifth Element.

87. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? Yes. Typing class. Thank you mother, for making me take it in high school.

88. What's under your bed? Carpet. The box spring sits on the floor, as we never bothered getting a frame for it. I like it that way.

89. Favorite sports to watch? Gymnastics and ice skating at the olympics.

90. Your single biggest intense pain? Umm? Childbirth I guess.

91. Favorite collectible? Dragon and Fairy items.

92. Favorite artist? Michael Whelan. Although there are plenty of others I love.

93. Ketchup or Mustard? BBQ sauce thanks.

94. Hamburger or hot dog? Hamburger, medium-rare, with swiss cheese, grilled onions, and a side of bbq sauce at Alfie's Inn in Glen Ellyn.

95. What is your favorite season? Fall. It used to be spring, but lately it's fall.

96. The best place you have ever been? Probably St. Augustine, Florida.

97. What screen saver is on your computer right now? I think it's called Beziers.

98. Favorite fast food? Portillo's.

99. What image is on your computer desktop right now? An image of artwork by Louis Royo.

100. Last item you purchased? Multivitamins, bought online.

Okay, that's enough of that.

G'night!

Current Mood: tired

One of those "worst day ever!" kind of days...

I began my day today to the sound of screaming. And believe me, when my otherwise angelic two-year-old gets his mind set to "wailing" mode, he can really get some volume. Brian attempted to head it off by going in there and hugging him for a while and then trying to get him to go to sleep again. He'd been up later than usual the night before and had gone to sleep while we weren't home, as RainMoon had been kind enough to babysit while we went to see Batman Begins. We had originally intended to see Revengs of the Sith instead, but RainMoon's van broke down so she was running late. We'll try again, maybe next week or something, as I really don't want to miss seeing that one on the big screen. Batman Begins was on the list of "hopefully we can find a chance to see it on the big screen" movies so we switched to that one since the timing worked out. It's now on the "got to own it" list. It rocked.

But Jareth had a bear of a time going to sleep last night I guess, as we weren't there to tuck him in and RainMoon doesn't know all the little rituals we have for bedtime. I was surprised he got up early this morning, and didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night myself. I had actually expected him to sleep later and had my heart set on getting at least another hour more than I did before having to get up. Brian even tried putting him down in a safe play area (first in his room, then in the playroom where the mega stash of toys is) and even set him up with some breakfast, but Jareth would have none of it. Anytime Brian or I left the room this morning he began the wailing again. Eventually I had no choice but to get up. Brian had left for work and I couldn't get him to just play quietly. And I can't just walk away and leave my kid wailing like that for more than a certain amount of time. Believe me that this morning - I tried.

Have you ever heard a sound so frequently that it rings in your ears even when you're not really hearing it? Yeah. I can hear him crying now. Except he's not actually crying. I'm imagining it. Because I heard it THAT MUCH today.

Naptime was also hell. I put him down for his nap at a specific time because we had a picnic to go to this evening. He screamed for about an hour (minus a few interruptions where I went up and basically yelled at him to stop and then left him to nap again) before I think he finally just exhausted himself from screaming so much and passed out. He only got about an hour of nap before he woke up. I know this because instead of calling for me, like he usually does, he promptly started screaming again.

*sigh*

Oh, and there was the brief trip to the grocery store because I hadn't all the ingredients for the dinner I had already promised to share with RainMoon and her family at the picnic. And the making of said dinner which took me about two hours this afternoon, while I found out that doubling the already bulked up recipe turns it into monsterous size. I had to use THE BIG BOWL to mix the thing together. Not the normal big bowl we do stuff in. No. The BIG bowl. The kind you use when you want to serve a mixed salad to about 40 or 50 some odd people. Yeah. That one. Packing it into the little cooler was a challenge too.

Once I had the salad made I rushed around getting myself ready and trying to narrow down what I absolutely needed to take with me to keep my cranky son happy and serve the HUGE amount of pasta salad up with. I overpack. ALWAYS. It's an art form. Trust me. If you forget to bring something and I'm at the same function - I may well have what you need with me, or some other item that can neatly serve the same purpose. C'mon folks, I keep one of those mini rolls of toilet paper in my purse. I'm prepared for many different kinds of emergencies. Especially if I'm toting the diaper bag.

So, after zooming around the house making sure everything was ready, and then dealing with the newly-awakened screaming child, I still managed to be ready on time. Since RainMoon and family were going to be giving me a lift to the picnic I didn't want to make them have to wait for me. I got the car seat out of the car, and everything set outside ready to toss into the trunk, strap into the back seat, and head on out.

And then got to sit and wait for an hour. I did call her at one point, trying not to seem impatient but still hoping to not be too late. I had mentioned the day before that we needed to leave my house around 5pm, 5:15pm at the latest, in order to leave on time. When I called her (at about 5:15-ish) she was at the store picking up soda on her way. I called the friend who set up the picnic and warned her we'd be late, figuring RainMoon would be at my house in 5-10 minutes.

So, let's just say I was none too pleased (and already had half my stuff thrown into my own car - about to just leave a note on the door saying I'd left) when RainMoon's husband rolled into the driveway without RainMoon at all. I'd been sitting outside in the heat, waiting for them to arrive and getting more and more upset by the minute while I let Jareth play so he'd stop driving me nuts. By this point Jareth was getting hungry too, as it was 6:00pm - the time we were supposed to be at the picnic. I frequently push his meals back during the day to try and accomodate Brian's screwed up hours lately so that Brian can eat with us, but today I supposedly didn't have to, so I had let Jareth's eating schedule be a normal one. I found out that RainMoon had something else she suddenly realized she needed to go to instead of the picnic (which was also supposed to be the first meeting of a new group that had just formed) so her husband had dropped her off there instead.

By that point I was ready and willing to rip someone a new one. I had even run in to check my answering machine at one point while waiting outside, but no messages had been left to let me know why they were running late or that RainMoon wasn't even coming. If someone had said something earlier, I would have just driven myself. Since I had the car half packed and would have likely taken all of my anger and frustrations out on RainMoon's husband if I had gotten in the car with him at that point, I put the car seat into my own car again and told him I'd just drive myself instead. He didn't have the directions yet, but he must have called RainMoon for them or something as I was in no mood to calmly explain squat at that point.

I am NOT in the habit of being so totally and utterly late to things. I've been known to be 5 or 10 or even as much as 15 minutes late to the occasional thing that I know is not vital for me to arrive on time for. But never an HOUR late... I wanted to either scream or cry. I drove like a frigging maniac to try and get there as quick as I could.

I know I was totally grumpy at the picnic too. I had quite enough of my cranky little boy by that point today and didn't exactly feel too excited at the prospect of being social with RainMoon's husband, although I did try because I don't want him thinking I hate him or anything, and I didn't want RainMoon's daughter having a lousy time due to any tension as it certainly wasn't her fault I was upset.

I got some nice pictures of the park we picnicked at. At least I think I did. I am still too strung out to even bother with uploading them onto my computer yet though, so I'm not entirely sure. Sometimes they look great on that teensy little screen on the camera and not so good when I see them full-screen on the monitor. I'll look tomorrow.

But I'm exhausted. I'm totally going to blow off camp tomorrow and stay in. I need some effing rest before I start banging my head against something.

G'night!

Current Mood: cranky

So much for THAT bright idea...

Rain. While fun to go play in, it can spoil the best of plans. That the the inability of local park districts to keep their web sites up in a timely manner with current events.

Originally, we'd hoped to do some sort of picnic bbq thing with friends at a park and then go to the fireworks afterwards, possibly with the same friends. But planning for that really never got under way in time to do it. Oh well, maybe next year.

The second idea was to make it into our own little "family day" with just the three of us. We wanted to find somewhere that was doing a craft fair or something in a park and then follow that up with a picnic dinner and then fireworks. Except that finding someplace nearby that was actually doing a craft fair proved difficult. The one town near enough that was holding a craft fair wasn't. As in - they had one this weekend on Saturday and Sunday. Not today.

Our own town held the fireworks last weekend?!? What the hell is that all about anyway? Why hold the Fourth of July fireworks on June 26th??? Doesn't feel too damn patriotic, if you ask me. But then they didn't, did they? Nope.

Then, while we were trying to decide which town's daytime festivities to go crash, it started raining. Heavy, thick droplets of rain came down in sheets, soaking everything in minutes. Including us, since we threw on different clothes really quick, stripped Jareth down to his diaper and a waterproof cover, and ran out to play in it. Afterwards, we came back inside shivering and soaked and decided maybe we'd skip the daytime stuff and stay in.

And then, after a while of it raining and the house feeling heavy and humid, we bailed and turned on the air. For the record, the main reason we did it was that Jareth was obviously not feeling good and the humidity was only making it worse. He's been suffering from the same allergies I've been dealing with and the fireworks in the neighborhood snapping and cracking all the time have had the poor little guy on edge lately. When you take all that AND throw in heavy humidity, you have one cranky, hot, sweaty, clingy, little boy. Within a half an hour of turning on the air conditioning, he was content again. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. Seriously. A totally different little boy.

After that, the likelihood of us leaving the safe, cool, non-humid cocoon of our home was getting slimmer and slimmer. I made our "picnic dinner" and served it up in the kitchen on bright red plastic divided plates. Then we gave in to the inevitable and plunked down in the living room to watch Independence Day since we have it on video and hadn't watched it in a while. It seemed fitting enough. Far better than submitting to a total anti-climax by watching fireworks on television would have been. I did briefly consider it, but there's just something entirely unsatisfactory about not seeing it up close and feeling the boom.

We did hear one of the local towns do their fireworks, which confirmed our thoughts that we won't be able to catch them next weekend instead. Not that we'd want to. For the same reason we didn't want to on June 26th. Because it just not the same! I may not be the most patriotic girl on the block, but I know what I want out of my holidays. And one of those things is to celebrate them on the actual dates that they occur. Is that so much to ask?

Apparently, today, it was. Bah. At least it was a somewhat relaxing day. Although it would have been more so if we'd thought to turn the air on earlier. Then Jareth could have enjoyed it more too. But he did like being out in the rain at least. That was fun.

G'night!

Current Mood: indifferent

Nothing to Report...

It's a Sunday. Did the dinner with Brian's folks. Yummy Chinese food cooked up in a frenzy by Brian's dad. Mmmmmmmm.

Tomorrow will be family fun for Brian, Jareth, and myself as we hit some festivities at a location that is yet to be disclosed (or, rather, yet to be decided upon actually). Then there will be fireworks.

Note to self: remember the tripod for the camera. I seriously want to try again for long-exposure pics of the fireworks. This time with the digital.

I'm hoping Jareth doesn't cry when the things go BOOM! We'll see.

G'night!

Current Mood: hopeful

An Answer Found & Some Allergies Refreshed...

Okay, first off, whomever first said "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" was obviously just trying to sell more apples! I mean geez - I have the air turned back off and the windows open for less than 24 hours and already my allergies have returned full-force. My eyes water, my nose burns, my ears are damp and itchy, I'm sneezing like crazy, and my throat aches as the day wears on. Oh joy. If it weren't for the cost factor and the fact that I LIKE having the house all opened up and airy-feeling, I'd turn the damned air back on even though it is currently getting cooler at night that I'd even set the thing for.

Does it sound crazy for me to wish for that 90 to 100 degree weather to come back now? *sigh* It's been too gorgeous out for my health to handle.

I SO need to get out of this area. I may have to get one of those counters that counts down to a point when we can start seriously considering moving out of our current house. That's the point when we can start honestly picking a location to move. In the meantime (about two years or so) however, I need insurance again so I can pinpoint exactly which plants should NOT be growing within a 100-mile-radius of whatever spot we move to.

*grumble, mumble, whine, complain, blow nose again*

In other news, I finally figured out why my son started saying "thank you" every time he hands something to someone. He's imitating us. As in the following:

Person #1: "Hey, hon? Could you rinse my dish off while you're standing at the sink?"

Person #2" "Yeah, sure."

*One person hands the plate to the other one*

Person #1: "Thank you."

He's seen exchanges like that enough times that I think he picked that up as the rule. In trying to correct him on it, I've now confused him - he says "thank you" any time he gives and receives things now! LOL!

We'll get him sorted out eventually. But now it's time to go tuck him into bed.

G'night!

Current Mood: sick

Welcome To The Pool

RainMoon and her daughter have gotten themselves a season pass to hang out at the pool this summer. So last night she suggested that Jareth and I go with them today. I haven't bought a season pass yet as I wasn't sure just how well Jareth was going to handle the pool after his terrified reaction to the spray park we went to.

I never got around to blogging it, I don't think, but he spent the entire time we were there either in my arms or frantically waving his arms at me until I picked him back up again. He wanted nothing to do with the various fountains, sprinklers, and misters they had going. He wanted nothing to do with the sand area either. It did not bode well for us making any plans to hit the pool on a regular basis this week.

But let me start at getting to the pool first. *sigh*

[/begin rant mode]

So I arrive at the pool, already running a little later than I had planned. But RainMoon had called me and knew I'd be a couple minutes late, so no big deal. I gather up all the crap from the car, slinging bags over my shoulder until one arm hangs down where I could drag my fingernails along the ground as we go. Then I haul Jareth out of his car seat, lock the car, and grab his hand with my barely free one - thus completing the hunchback monkey image with the small exception of the noises. Those come later.

Now keep in mind - I'd had no caffeine by this point in the day yet. It was not hugely early (11:00am), but I just hadn't had time to pop open a can of eye-opening bliss to get me going. That, and the amount of overpacking I always do, and the fact that I had a kid in tow - well, just bear all that in mind when you read the next bit...

I get to the door and the guy asks me how old my kid is. I say "two" and he tells me that Jareth is free of charge. He then asks if I've got a specific swim diaper for him.

I should have just lied and said yes. Silly me always has to be honest about every damned thing. And somehow it always seems to get me into trouble. Every. Damned. Time.

Instead, I said, "oh, he's got swim diaper on."

"As long as it's not the Huggies ones," poolguy says. (note that he's poolguy and not poolboy. Poolboys are cute, not rude, and supposedly good for throwing down and having your wicked way with. If I ever actually meet a poolboy I'll be sure to let you know. Privately. *wicked grin*)

"Well, actually, yeah - it is that kind," I stupidly reply.

That resulted in them telling me I could not take him inside until I purchased their specific type of $6.00 swim diaper thing that they just happen to have for sale right there at the admissions office. Because they've had "problems" with the Huggies ones leaking.

*sigh*

And, of course, I don't have the extra six bucks in my wallet. And they will NOT allow me to let my friend know what the hell is going on that is delaying me so much. They smugly tell me that there is an ATM at the gas station next door.

Which there is, but it wants $1.95 extra for the convenience of my pulling a minimum of $20 out of the bank. Considering the bank is within just a couple of miles I said "screw that" (although I think I was a bit more colorful at the time) and went to my own bank instead.

Where the ATM was out of order.

Can this get any more complicated? *sigh*

At least the teller in the bank was nice to me. She confirmed that the ATM was, indeed, busted - hence the big orange cone in the aisle to get to it. When I explained that I had my kid in the car and didn't want to run use the one inside she was happy to help me out once I sent up my driver's license to verify I had an account there and was who I said I was.

After that, we headed back to the pool. Where I paid them. And then, they DIDN'T HAVE ANY OF THE STUPID SWIM DIAPERS IN HIS SIZE!!!

Well they did, but it took them 20 MINUTES before they were able to track one down. They didn't have any at the office. They didn't have any at the concessions stand. They had plenty of the OTHER sizes, just not the one I needed. Finally they sent someone over to the park district building where they FINALLY located one in his size somewhere in the deep dark depths of wherever they had some extra ones stored. At least they let me IN the damned building while I waited, so I was able to pass that time sitting under an umbrella with RainMoon and our kids instead of standing there with all my bags and trying to keep Jareth from wandering back into the parking lot. This, at least, was some improvement.

[Okay, /end rant mode. Mostly.]

Once we finally had the stupid swim diaper and I'd gotten him set up, Jareth did seem to have fun at the pool. He was very nervous and clung to me for much of it, but we did having him sitting at the edge of the pool with his feet dangling in and enjoying it, as well as sitting in the shallows for a while too. He also got a great kick out of the sand area this time - It might be that the sand was just too hot at the last place, since this place had more shelter over it. He sat and got quite a bit sandy while playing in it with his hands and toes.

So the part with introducing Jareth to the pool was actually more successful than I had expected. Most of the problems on that aspect generally came from other kids splashing hard and too close, and the one instance where a kid threw sand on him. Overall, however, I think he had a good time.

Next time maybe we'll even actually go when the weather is hot. What the heck? I have all the windows open in my house, the air turned off, and I'm all but freezing? Very, very odd weather today. It's been mostly 90's lately and now this. Although if it doesn't get too hot for the 4th, I'll be happy. We're hoping to spend that whole day outside.

Well, Brian should be home shortly and then I'm going to be busy with my family again. I really doubt I'll blog again later tonight as I'm planning to... um.... be busy after Jareth goes to bed. Yeah. Very busy. Doing stuff you probably would love to read about here but ain't gonna. Tough noogies.

G'night!

Current Mood: horny