DragonBlog

New Year's Resolutions...

Last year my New Year's resolution was to "get knocked up." I did succeed at least, despite a variety of complications along the way. This year, however, I haven't really thought about it. As I roll into today, the last day of this year, I've begun to think on it though. I wonder what I'll come up with?

I think I'll sleep on it first.

G'night!

Current Mood: thoughtful

Just in case we thought we were done with small disasters this year...

We recently have been having a little problem around here. I, especially, have been getting bitten by something - mostly on my legs while asleep in bed. Figuring we had a little spider or something that got in there, we washed all the bedding in hot water (since normally I do most laundry in cold), tumbled the pillows in the dryer and figured that would fix it. It seemed to go away at first, but then we noticed similar bites on Jareth as well. We washed his bedding similarly, and tumbled his pillows too. It seemed to be going back and forth, presumably since Jareth sometimes crawls into our bed with me some mornings before we wander downstairs, and I sometimes nap in my "house clothes" in the bed in the afternoon, possibly transferring whatever it was to Jareth's room later on if it was something smaller.

Last night, while we were sitting in the living room at one point, Brian managed to find the source of our problem when he was able to catch a little, hopping bug bouncing about on the couch. We'd been agonizing over what to do lately, worried that whatever it was had made its way into Jareth's stuffed animals at this point, so finding out the source of our troubles was a necessary step. We just hadn't seen one of 'em yet.

He snagged one on a piece of tape, allowing him to inspect it...

Fleas.

We have fleas?!?

Damnit!

By now, they're likely EVERYWHERE in the HOUSE!

*cries*

Now understand that, while I don't keep the house particularly dust-free on any regular basis, we are NOT living in a pigsty here! I do try to keep things relatively clean, and Brian helps out when he can too. The kitchen counters where we cook, for example, are usually immaculate. We vaccum, we do laundry, and all that. I keep trying to get rid of clutter too, so that maybe the dusting part won't seem to daunting and will get done more than two or three times a year.

And our cats don't leave the house. So it's not as if THEY brought the fleas in here.

One possible source was a bag of clothes I had gotten from a resale shop. The items that I saw would need some measure of sewing in order to be useable got left on the bedroom floor in the bag from the store, instead of getting washed right away. We washed it, just in case, when we started seeing the problem, but that's when we weren't sure what we were dealing with. Technically, it could have come in from any number of sources. I have one of those large body pillows in bed with me, for example, and replaced it a few months back. I've bought things before that I found bugs on afterwards - namely a houseplant I once got - so it's possible that it came in from that source too. Or maybe someone brought something into my house without knowing it... I'm baffled, personally. I'm the type of person who makes people take their shoes off at the door to keep the floors clean longer, so this is frustrating the hell out of me. I don't like to clean, so I try, instead, to just keep things clean in the first place to avoid major cleanups.

So here I am with this situation. Now, the solution involves a bug bomb (two, actually). We'll have to vacate the house for something like three hours, after which we will have to clean the residue from it off of everything we own. Or, rather, Brian will have to. I'm already recruiting family and friends to help him, but I have to bail out on cleaning up the chemicals. I'm having enough troubles with this pregnancy that I'm not going to risk making it worse by inhaling anti-flea dust and the what-not. If it kills fleas and flea eggs, it CAN'T be good for my unborn baby. And right now, I don't trust my body to filter the crap out and keep my baby safe. I'm already having to play a more active part in making sure this baby stays healthy as it is, with the diabetes situation. I'm not taking any stupid risks here.

So we've planned a date, a week from Saturday, since we're not going to try and recruit help on a holiday weekend and I want to try and prep the house for decontamination before it happens. I've got to wash and bag up certain stuff to keep it from getting bombed (like Jareth's toys that aren't fabric in any way, and any boxes of crackers or such that are normally out on the counters) and try to at least tidy my house up in ways that will hopefully make the post-bomb cleaning an easier process. After the bombing and cleaning, I expect I'll end up handling the mega-loads of laundry as we wash pretty much every item of clothing we own. We're still investigating things like - do fleas/flea eggs die if you submerge them in hot water? and how safe would the iguana be if we just put a tarp over her cage or do we need to box her up for three hours too? While we are already setting up to borrow a second carrier to get both cats out of the house, we generally don't transport the iguana unless it's an emergency. The last time there was an emergency, she still fit in a cat carrier. She's too big now, so we might have to configure something with a heavy-duty box.

You know, I do HATE it when life gets all extra-complicated on me. *sigh*

And what the HELL is it with us and BUGS anyway? This makes it FOUR of the six different places Brian and I have lived together in that have had some sort of bug problem! We've had crickets, ants, flies, and now fleas! What's up with that? And there's always a LOT of them. The ants, for example, were in our motorhome - they crawled up a wheel and into the engine and out the dashboard until eventually I had one drop off the ceiling onto me! The flies were in our last apartment before this house - they came in from the basement (we were 1st floor there) and up the heat ducts. We had flytape in the windows that got really, really, full! Ewww! And the crickets were in the house just before the motorhome - they came in through the attached garage somehow. I found that crickets make an interesting *THWUMP!* noise when you get them with the hose on the vaccum cleaner. *shudders at the memory* And baby crickets make much more noise than adult ones do. This is NOT trivia I wanted to find out the hard way!

And now - fleas eh?

Crap! Crappity-crap-crap-CRAP!

What a way to herald in the new year...

G'night!

Current Mood: irritated

You want me to do WHAT with the HUH??? Oh CRAP!!!

My day began with the usual getting out of bed (or trying relatively hard to put it off as long as possible), checking my glucose levels, drinking my lousy breakfast shake, etc...

My day really began when I called the diabetes counsellor about the fact that I'm nearly out of test strips for my glucometer. In the process, I mentioned the fact that my fasting numbers - the numbers resulting from the test I do just after I get up in the morning and before I eat anything that day - have been higher than they ought to be, and I was a little concerned. As a "side note" I mentioned it, hoping she had some magical little thing I could do to make it all better. You know - something ELSE I could deprive myself of until this baby is born.

She DID. Insulin.

DAMNIT!!!

As she asked when my next OB-GYN appointment was, I remembered suddenly that it was TODAY - an hour away from the time I was talking to her, which meant I needed to get my ass in gear if I was going to get dressed in a manner where I could be seen by human population other than those who took marital vows or were forcibly squeezed out of my crotch. She told me to call her back when I'd heard what the doctor had to say.

In the doctor's office, an hour later, they said YES - Insulin.

DAMNIT!!!

The next thing I know, things are being faxed left and right and I'm on the phone making an appointment to see the diabetic counsellor. Since she had slots open this afternoon, we stopped briefly for a quick lunch after leaving the doctor's office with a fistfull of prescriptions, and then headed to see the counsellor next. Hell, we got to HER office before all the faxed stuff SHE needed had even arrived yet!

Then - oh goody - Insulin training.

Have I ever mentioned my fear of needles? That the fact that they needed to give me an I.V. before the epidural was actually the most traumatic part of childbirth last time? That I nearly hyperventilate and give myself a freaking HEART ATTACK when the very IDEA of my having a shot or I.V. comes into play?

It WAS amusing to note that they had to take my blood pressure twice at the doctor's office. The first time they tried, it was right after they'd confirmed I'd need insulin, and the number SHOT UP as a result! The second time, it was back to normal again. My blood pressure is usually my one really constant stat - it's ALWAYS normal. Unless someone stresses me out first. Yah.

I am NOT over-exaggerating here. I swear. I am REALLY. FUCKING. SCARED. OF. NEEDLES. I close my eyes when they take blood and try really hard to distract myself. I even squint my eyes shut and wince when stabbing my finger with the teeny little lancet for the glucose tests. Having an I.V. in one arm means that whole arm is OFF LIMITS - DON'T FUCKING TOUCH IT BECAUSE IT'S FRAGILE NOW AND YOU MIGHT SHIFT THE THING IN THERE!!! territory. Nevermind how many shots I've "opted out" of just to avoid them coming anywhere NEAR me with a needle. I'd rather get the flu, damnit.

I don't care if the little fucker I'm supposed to stick in me is barely more than a centimeter long and about as thin as they come. You want me to do WHAT to MYSELF with THAT???

How far a person will bring themselves to go, however, when a child is involved...

After many, many, MANY tears were shed (and snot-filled kleenexes thrown away), and a long, arduous amount of time spent by the counsellor trying to convince me that I actually COULD bring myself to stab that crappy little piece of metal into some of my "fatty tissue" and inject the contents of the syringe into my body...

I DID do it.

But it took a while. A LONG while.

And that wasn't even insulin. It was just a saline solution for me to learn with.

I have, however, already injected myself with two small doses of insulin since.

How far we will go, when a child's well-being is involved? Wherever we damned well HAVE to. *sigh*

I don't know whether to be proud of myself for being able to do it, or shattered at the fact that I HAVE NO CHOICE.

At least they were nice enough at the doctor's office to say that this was no fault of my own. That this was something out of my control that needed treating. That I wasn't FUCKING UP MY OWN UNBORN CHILD!!! Because that's how I think, you see. That's the first thing that ran through my mind. What did *I* do wrong this time? I've had years and years of training in my youth, on where the "blame" is supposed to be. Having the nurses point out that it WASN'T my fault was atually far more necessary than they know. It means I'll beat myself up a whole lot less than I would have otherwise.

And, to think... I thought the worst part of today was going to involve starting to sort out the crap being stored in the baby's bedroom so that we can start remodelling it. We didn't even have time today to start work on THAT. Bah!

So, um... yep. That was my day. Oh, there was the trip to the pharmacy for the stuff and then dinner out (I think Brian said yes to that almost as a consolation prize for my surviving, although I don't know WHAT I would have done if he hadn't been home today to get me through this). But those are hardly worth mentioning.

What an utter change today. Tomorrow had better be good. Tomorrow is our planned-out day of holiday rest (mostly). We've got specific stuff planned for most of the afternoon and evening that don't involve any stress whatsoever. And I sure as hell need it. I was NOT prepped for THIS little shift in the pregnancy routine at ALL. Not remotely.

I love you, little kickadee inside me. If you know nothing else about your mommy (except perhaps the loud noises my intestines seem to make), know that. Today demonstrates some of the lengths I will go through to ensure you have the best chance of being born healthy. I already want the best for you.

That's all for today folks. I still have a really late post to do over at Quick Shtick Writing yet.

G'night!

Current Mood: shocked

Solstice, Christmas, and The Strange Case of The Disappearing Eyebrows...

Apparently pregnancy makes my eyebrows thin out. I noticed this last time too, although normally it doesn't specifically bother me. While others have encouraged me to occasionally trouble myself with painfully yanking some of the small hairs out of my own face, I've never really paid much attention to them. I'd much rather have slightly overly-enthusiastic eyebrows than thin pencil lines drawn above my eyes in a perpetual look of surprise. I've "plucked" maybe twice in my life. I really didn't care for it much. I'm one of those women who will only put on enough makeup to make me feel as if the dark circles have gone away and any other flaws have been minimized as much as possible. If I could, I wouldn't bother with the stuff at all, but my self-image just isn't that good. Oh, well. More money for L'Oreal I guess.

But pregnancy makes my eyebrows thin away so that it feels like they are going to just not BE there in a week. With the holidays, and the knowledge that *gasp* PICTURES will be taken, the makeup comes out in force. I found myself lining the damned things back in with eyebrow pencil. And putting OTHER makeup onto my face. Crap like LIPSTICK and EYESHADOW! Oh, the horror! Let's just not TALK about the curling iron and the small burnmark on my left index finger, shall we? And that this is the one time of year that I liberally damage the ozone layer with the three or four POUNDS worth of hairspray that I use to superglue my hair in place once I have it where I want it to stay. I close the door on the bathroom, take a huge breath of air, and begin to spray. Then I warn the locals not to light a match anywhere within ten feet of the bathroom for at LEAST an hour. It could be fatal.

So the last few days have been a whirlwind of hairspray and chaos as we went about on our holiday tour. Last Wednesday, in the evening, we finished our Solstice day by attending a service that RainMoon had invited us to, at a nearby Unitarian Universalist Church. I was leery, as I always am when the word "church" comes into play. But, after the drum circle / Solstice event we'd attended the previous Sunday, I was willing to give it a try. It was definitely a different feel than the other one had been, with a considerable amount of Wiccan lean to it. A sort of combination of ritual and carolling (Christmas songs were "adjusted" with more pagan-based lyrics) and definitely more aimed towards children. While a few parts of it were particularly enjoyable, and the people seemed really nice, I think I may have preferred the way the stuff on Sunday was handled a bit more overall. But it was great to get out and DO something specifically Solstice-related on the actual day, so I was pleased we decided to go.

Thursday and Friday were mostly about hectic preparations. I spent most of Thursday trying to get our yearly newsletter together, but it's really only just getting finished today. I still need to print it and sign the cards we bought to send out with it, since I didn't have time to design a card this year as I usually do. I'm hoping we'll be mailing them out tomorrow - FINALLY. I've only been wanting to get it done for over a month now, but there's been lots of other little things that kept coming up. Friday I went shopping and then started the cooking - desserts for Saturday evening's festivities and appetizers to bring on Sunday too. Even so, both Saturday and Sunday morning there was work to be finished up in the cooking, but I got the bulk out of the way on Friday. While I shopped, I also picked up ingredients to start cooking some of the meals out of the diabetic cookbook that Brian got me for Solstice. Tonight will be the first of those meals. I'm hoping they turn out yummy.

Saturday we spent the second half of the day at Brian's uncle's house, spending time with the family at Brian's mom's family's half of the Christmas celebrations. Sunday, Christmas Day, is traditionally more Brian's dad's family, although that's also the one that family members of mine come to as well. Our recent announcements about celebrating Solstice and not exchanging gifts didn't seem to put a damper on the festivities at all, as we all enjoyed catching up with one another and basking in the warm glow of family. It always amazes me how well the members of Brian's family seem to get along with one another. I love that I get to expose my son to that kind of environment every so often throughout the year. I recall my own family holidays as being difficult events where everyone had to work hard NOT to have some sort of fight come about. It's nice to be able to just relax and enjoy a full-fledged family engagement like that.

There were a few gifts that came our way. Some people didn't know about the recent changes yet, and others just wanted to do it anyway. Most of the gifts were for Jareth, and all seemed very lovingly chosen. We went into it knowing that there could be some of that, however, and had resolved to just accept gifts in the spirit they had been given. Most of what Jareth received was books, something we definitely encourage more of in this house, and my sister-in-law even gave him one that is specifically about the Winter Solstice, which I thought was really thoughtful of her.

Whew! What a whole lot to write about, and I feel like I'm just skimming over the edges of it mostly. I've got to get the printing started on the newsletter however (I'd be printing now, but it would seriously lag up the computer), so I'm going to stop here. Brian is home for the next couple of days too, so we'll be hopefully getting started on the work for the next child's bedroom finally. The holiday gatherings may have come to a close for us, but chaos still reigns true around here. My list of things to do doesn't seem to have actually gotten any shorter yet!

Lastly, for those Jewish readers out there, a Happy Hanukkah!!! And a Happy Kwanzaa to the African-American community as well!!!

Oh, and Happy Boxing Day to the people of Canada too eh? It's on the calendar, but I honestly haven't a clue what Boxing Day is all about. It's a national holiday of some sort or other. I'll have to look it up one of these days, but my Multicultural Calendar is in the other room. I've already gotten the one for next year. I encourage everyone to buy one of these, as they are really cool. And they don't even pay me to say that, although they should. A free yearly calendar would be nice... *hint, hint*

Bah. They'll probably never even notice I linked them anyway. *shrug* But it's still a cool calendar.

G'night!

Current Mood: busy

Merry Christmas!

Just thought I'd drop in and wish those of you who celebrate a Merry Christmas!

I'm off momentarily to the first of the weekend's family gatherings myself.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

And to all, a...

G'night!

Current Mood: optimistic

I guess I'm less geeky than I thought!

I saw this on another blog I was perusing on the web not long ago and thought I'd try it myself...

The Simple Geek You answered 66% of the questions as a geek truly would.

You don't seem to sway in either direction, however you still seem to have some latent geek attributes within you. Maybe you're interested in computers but not a gamer? Maybe you've got geek hobbies but none of the awkward social tendencies. You may be slightly geekier than you thought and in denial! The simple geek usually has various quirks that friends may make fun of, but in general can be considered a fairly normal person. Your geek attributes make you less likely to conform to society. The popular kids don't hate you but the geeks don't either, so it's a respectable demographic. In a nutshell, you answered enough questions with geek tendencies and enough questions without geek tendencies that it's difficult to pinpoint your exact alignment.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 55% on geekness

Link: The True Geek Test written by ambientred on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Funny. I thought for sure I'd come out with a higher "geek score" than that! *shrug* I guess I'm more normal than I thought. Bummer. I'll just have to work on that. Heh.

Later!

Current Mood: geeky

Solstice Wishes...

Happy Solstice Everyone!

That's one of the ornaments on our Solstice Tree. While Brian and I exchanged our gifts to each other early so that I could get him his drum in time for the drum circle we went to last Sunday, we waited until this morning to give Jareth our gift to him. He has a wooden train set running all over our living room floor right now. We went with the stuff by Imaginarium, as it seemed the best "bang for the buck." He did NOT want to be peeled away from it at ALL when naptime came around either! We got him the construction set, figure 8 set, and an expansion set. In setting up track for him to run the train on, we had more pieces than we knew what to do with! LOL. He's been totally enamored with trains lately, so once we decided we were giving gifts here on Solstice, we decided that some wooden track and trains would be an appropriate gift for him. I think we chose correctly. *grin* As Brian mentioned on his blog, he got me a couple of super-useful cookbooks - one that makes recommendations for my IBS (Irritable Bowel) and one that deals with diabetes, so that I can maybe bring some flavor back into my diet again. I've already been pawing through both of them and have to make an extensive shopping list for ingredients!

So far today, Brian made us all breakfast (yummy omlete and bacon that weren't a problem for my glucose numbers either!) and we played on the floor with Jareth a bunch with his new train stuff. I also got to indulge in a BUBBLE BATH! I've been wanting a bubble bath for a long, long, long, long, long time now. Showers just aren't as soothing and my skin was getting all dried out and in desperate need of hydration. Aaaahhhhhh. Much better. I need to do that more often!

That's all my blogging for now though. Got other stuff to do today yet!

G'night!

Current Mood: pleased

The Little Drummer Boy...

Sunday night we had the opportunity to attend a combined drum circle and Solstice gathering, courtesy of my father-in-law. He'd found out about the place while at an alternative energy convention he goes to, and had gotten on a mailing list. He'd sort of suggested that they had the right kind of place to do drum circles in and they decided to give it a try. They also decided that the one this past Sunday would include something to honor this year's Winter Solstice.

I was nervous about going. It's not easy for me to just jump in and get into the drumming when surrounded by people I've only just met. I also didn't know what kind of plans they had for Winter Solstice. My own views never mesh entirely with those of... well anyone else, to be honest. Even Brian and I have agreed to disagree on a few points. I draw a lot from here and there and I try to respect other people's right to their own views and paths, but when celebrations are involved people expect you to participate too. If you aren't comfortable with what they've chosen to do, you either need to abstain and risk ridicule or jump in with the sheeple and do what the others do regardless of which way they are being herded. Sunday, fortunately, was very low-key in that regard. There was a large piece of paper and a large piece of cloth. The paper was for writing something you wanted to "let go" of or purge as this year draws to a close. The cloth was for writing something you wanted to "bring forth" or achieve in the next year. Once everyone had contributed their bit to each, the paper was used to start the fire (in which the yule log was later burned too) and the cloth was cut into flags and strung up across the room.

There was also a "smudging" ritual, where one of the men lit a bunch of herbs (I think he said it was sage) and "invited" spirits and the like from each direction to join our circle. It was interesting. Not something I would generally require, but interesting nonetheless. It seemed more Native American leaning in background overall, although not overly specific. He also offered people the chance to be personally "smudged" as well, asking for spirits to protect and guide them and helping cleanse them of things like negativity. While Brian went up there (I knew he would, as he's more into the idea of rituals and the like than I am), I felt no real need to do so and remained seated. I had an odd idea in my head that I would have liked to have had the unborn baby "smudged" but didn't require it for myself. Since there was no way to seperate the two, I abstained.

The drumming was especially fun, despite the fact that I seemed to take charge of Jareth for most of the evening and didn't do as much of it as I might normally have liked. There was only a couple of songs I drummed (or some other percussion instrument) from start to finish with, but I still found myself feeling more and more comfortable with the new people around me as the night drew on. I liked it best when we were drumming with the lights off at one point, with mostly candles, the fire, and a small section of decorative lights on some window garland being what lit the room. The brighter lights, which were on for most of the evening tended to make me a little more inhibited. They generally do.

One of the cutest moments of the evening for me was courtesy of Jareth (of course!). He has this tendency to say "Ready?...Set?... GO!!!" for certain things, and suddenly said it to one of the women at the gathering. On "GO!!!" she started drumming for a short bit. Excited at the thought that he had made it happen, he tried again. That time, another person joined in as well. He kept saying it "Ready?...Set?... GO!!!" Until most of the people in the room were drumming on his command! You could see that gleeful look in his eyes as our two-and-a-half-year-old controlled a roomful of people drumming. He laughed and laughed. There was also another moment when they did a meditation exercise too, during which Jareth followed the man speaking as he paced around the room, leading us through the meditation. The man would stop in one place for a while and face the gathered circle of people, and Jareth would stop and stand right next to him, going between watching for what he would do next and looking at the people, as the man was doing. Every once in a while he would bolt away, over to me, and collect a cherry tomato from a plate I had of food for him. Then he'd jog back over into place again and return to mimicking the man.

I found it amazing, actually, how quickly Jareth warmed up to the new faces and location after we arrived. Usually he sticks near myself or Brian for a while and often wants to be in our arms when in a new place. At this place it was really only a couple of minutes before he was exploring and talking to people. It gave me a really good feeling right off at the beginning to see my son so easily accept it all. Sometimes I go off his judgement when it comes to new people - there's just some people he doesn't want anything to do with, and others he will smile right off for. While I'm ever the wary mommy, I think children can have an instinct about such things and I don't want to ignore it. While he is good at winning others over, it takes certain types of people to win him over. Most, if not all, of the people we met at the gathering seemed to fall into that category.

It sounds as if my father-in-law had a good time as well. I think we're all looking forward to going to another drum circle with those people in the future. We'll have to see how the schedules work out.

Tomorrow, RainMoon has invited us to a small Solstice gathering at her Unitarian Universalist Church. After some discussion, Brian and I have decided to check it out. Seems only appropriate that we do something with other people on the actual day of Solstice too. It will be a little more kid-oriented, from the sound of it.

I'll hopefully find time to post something tomorrow. If not, however, have a Happy Solstice everyone!

G'night!

Current Mood: contemplative

One Perfect Moment...

I've probably used that title on at least one other post. It's actually the title to a Ralph Covert song. I find that I tend to want to use it as the post title here for posts relating to my son.

We had one of those this morning. I woke up and he was awake already, knocking on the door of his room (which is likely what woke me up) to get my attention so I'd come get him. I went and got him and changed him and then he and his stuffed puppy followed me into my bedroom so I could get properly dressed for the day, since a t-shirt and undies is generally not appropriate attire for the grocery store.

As happens often when I've not gotten dressed yet in the morning, we spent some "snuggle time" first. When he first crawled up on the bed next to me, he gave me this big, unprompted hug, and said "I love you!" to me. Naturally, I returned both the gesture and words, hugging him tight and just beaming inside. He then camped out on my pillow and pulled the covers up around himself and his puppy and I laid down next to him and dropped one arm around him. He wanted kisses and "eskimoes" (we rub the tips of our noses together as "eskimo kisses" - something my mom did with me when I was little) and hugs, and I was obligated to kiss and hug his puppy as well. Then we laid there picking out animals at random and learning/making the sounds that those animals make. We must have oinked, hissed, barked, meowed, and cock-a-doodle-dooed for a half an hour, with the occasional "tickle bomb" (Brian came up with this one - a closed hand drops down from the sky with appropriate noise and then opens up as it hits his tummy to tickle him!) thrown in for good measure. We also developed a "tickle snake" while we were busy hissing today too.

There was also one point when he looked up at our ceiling and said "hand." I'm not sure what age it normally happens at, but I was impressed nonetheless. The way a child might see some shape in the clouds in the sky, my son saw a "hand" in the abstract shapes that adorn our ceiling. The "shapes" in actuality, we think are either a really piss-poor paint job on the ceiling and they didn't finish properly or a cleaning effort with a sponge mop that left dark splotches on it. We hadn't noticed it looked like that until after we'd moved in. I've been seeing shapes up there for a couple years now myself. Today, though, Jareth noticed a hand shape. He matter-of-factly pointed out where the thumb and other fingers were. It's a little, silly thing, I know, but I was proud of him for making that kind of association out of a random abstract shape. There's probably some sort of term or psychological chart that would say something about him for his ability to see it, but I could care less. He's my little boy. I just love watching him grow and explore his world. I love it most when he shares it with me, as he did this morning. We laid there together for a short while, staring up at the "hand" on the ceiling, each of us holding up our own hands in comparison to it.

One perfect moment. Thank you Jareth. I love you too!

Current Mood: loved

My Little Hormonal Teeter-Totter

I guess that right now I'm just not allowed to have two really good days in a row. If I have ONE really good one, the following day will make up for that. *sigh*

Wednesday went good. I went to class for the last day of that session and as part of the "final" we had to clean the lab. No biggie, although I overdid it some and paid for it physically for the rest of the day. That came as no surprise, however, and did nothing to dampen the little cloud I was riding on after my teacher reviewed my jewelry pieces as the more important part of the "final". He said I have an "A"! Despite my own perfectionist's doubt and the fact that some of my pieces are flawed, I guess he saw enough evidence that I learned the techniques I needed to. He seemed to like one piece in particular that I thought was the best of the lot too. I'll need to take some pictures of the finished pieces to pop up here one of these days, I've just been too busy to get to it is all.

Class got out early so I popped home for lunch before going to my appointment at the diabetes clinic. Brian had taken Jareth out to a play area and then for some lunch and shopping, so I had the house to myself - a rare thing indeed! I ate my salad (*sigh*) and watched a little of some recorded television I had before popping back into the car for my appointment.

The appointment wasn't perfect, by far, as I found that the government program I'm on doesn't cover the appointments themselves. It does, however, cover the supplies needed for me to monitor my glucose levels at least - or so they say. I'm still waiting on the callback from the place that will send me the supplies via postal mail. In the meantime, I have a starter kit to tide me over for about 10 days of glucose testing. I also have a form and a phone number to see if I can get the billing people to write off the appointment I DID have to have, although I had the same woman I talked to for the last pregnancy and she was understanding and quick about (I was only billed for about a half an hour) it so the bill isn't as bad as it could have been if they say no and make us pay it ourselves. She also is going to handle my case over the phone for most, if not all, of it which won't cost me anything. It helped that I walked in there with the copy of the diet I was on last time and the whole binder of info I had gotten back then. I think it also helped that when we tested my glucose levels there in the office, I was nicely in the safe zone. I left there feeling like I was doing alright. It was nice.

We spent the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening decorating the inside of our house for Solstice. We weeded out the "santa" stuff and most of the "Christmas" stuff, save a couple of ornaments that have the word on it but we still want on our Solstice tree anyway. I'm certainly not going to NOT put up Jareth's few ornaments just because two of them happen to say "Christmas" on them. We still haven't bought ornaments for THIS year, however, something we meant to do before we decorated but haven't had a chance to shop for yet. Hopefully next year we'll start to get a little better organized about these little things we want to do!

Jareth was adequately in awe of the decorations, making the appropriate "ooooh" noises and staring in fascination at the tree. He even helped us to put a few of the less delicate ornaments on, although he wanted to play with them more than put them on the tree, and there is one train one of Brian's that took some time before it could be removed from his little hands to nestle it into a branch. His reaction to the decorations alone made the endeavor worthwhile.

Overall, I went to bed last night with that "this was a GOOD day!" feeling. I liked that.

So why, oh why, did TODAY have to SUCK SO MUCH?!?

*sigh*

Our attempts to discourage the cats from investigating the tree too closely yesterday went unheeded whilst we slept last night. I came down to find nearly half the lowest branches smooshed down to the floor, where they had been sitting IN THE GODDAMNED TREE! One branch had fallen out of the bracket entirely. It's a damned good thing we DO have a fake tree, as it means I can bend it back into shape instead of just leave it broken for the rest of the holiday!

I was unhappy about this. Well, actually, I was LIVID, but that was my pregnancy hormones kicking in, rendering me incoherant as I grabbed the nearest squirt bottle and began screaming and hosing down my cats as I chased them around the house and away from the tree. Honestly, I became somewhat irrational. To the point where I flung that squirt bottle at them (no, fortunately, I didn't actually hit either of them) which has rendered that particular squirt bottle to the recycle bin as it is no longer functional. My son was considerably better-behaved than usual today. I think it's because he assumed that THE DEVIL HIMSELF had taken over his mommy's body for most of the morning! I made a point of being extra nice to HIM though. The cats, on the other hand, ended up locked in the bathroom where their water and litter box is, as I could not seem to find a solution to a) keep them away from the tree or b) keep my from not being OBSESSIVELY HORMONAL about them messing with that tree. It didn't help any when I had to clean up bits of fake tree and tinsel in CAT PUKE either. You'd think they'd be smart enough to know that it's not good to eat, purely based on the leftover scent from the spray we tried using last year to keep them out of the tree! So much for cats being smart!

I ended up telling my tale to Brian, and convincing him to go and pick up the screen door we have in storage. We used the screen door in an apartment a while back to keep my sister-in-law's cat from getting to our iguana while she was sharing a place with us for a while. Her cat had claws so we added some plywood to the bottom to prevent her from just clawing her way through the screen, and for the most part it worked. The door needs to be mostly screen though or it blocks too much airflow through the house. This evening, Brian put the door up so that the cats are now restricted to just the family room downstairs and the connected bathroom, where the litter box, water, and food bowls are kept anyway. We'll see how it goes. So far the little one, Cinder, has flung herself at the screen part of the door a couple of times, as if she could leap through it. I'm hoping it holds against her weight. Fortunately she's a light enough cat. It might not hold if Nora starts doing it though.

Cross your fingers for me though. I'm at my wits' end with these cats. While I had hoped that Nora would teach Cinder how to behave, it has been entirely the opposite. Cinder has been nothing but trouble the entire time we've had her, and she has taught Nora some stuff that we had already trained her OUT of doing! I'm trying to just get through the pregnancy and see how it goes afterwards as last time I was pregnant I remember Nora getting a little unruly. I know they can sense something has changed with me, and I'm hoping that they weill BOTH settle down some once the baby has been born and around for a little while. One can only hope.

Oh, and my glucose numbers since that one at the office yesterday? Have SUCKED. All but one today have been over the mark. The one taken at about the same time as the good one yesterday - the post-salad one. Even my FASTING number (the one taken right after I wake up, before I've even eaten anything) was horrible! *cries* I won't panic until I've taken a couple of days of numbers, but still...

And, naturally, the timing on this diabetes thing is awful. Today Jareth and I made something "sweet" for a holiday party tomorrow with one of the mom's groups I'm in. I'm not even supposed to EAT "sweet" stuff, but here I am COOKING it up to take to parties! *sob* Not to mention that there will be a table full of sweet stuff at the party tomorrow morning and I'm probably not supposed to eat ANY of it. AND we're going to a holiday dinner tomorrow night for Brian's work too. I don't think the numbers will be looking too pretty tomorrow either. *sigh*

I'd better stop now. I need to get to bed and then fall asleep before the cats begin whining about being stuck downstairs. Nora can get pretty loud when she sets her mind to it.

G'night!

Current Mood: cranky

As Good As It's Gonna Get...

Well, the jewelry is done. Or, at least, the pieces are as good as they are going to get in the time I had left to finish them in. To be honest, I would rather have just started all of the pieces I'd begun in the night class over entirely and made them from scratch, but that wasn't going to be an option. Nonetheless, the pieces have all been shined up and are waiting to be reviewed tomorrow morning. We'll see what kind of grade they net me in the end.

The past few days I've been getting headaches. It hasn't helped any that Jareth has become a relative handful lately, testing his boundaries up and down, left and right. He's become demanding about a lot of things as well, just repeating himself over and over even after we've told him that he can't have or do something. Part of it is the "terrible twos" still, but part of it is that his two-year molars seem to be coming in. We're pretty sure that the fever he had last week was caused by it, and now he's cranky as hell and has the teething rash on his bottom that he gets. *sigh*

As for the gestational diabetes? I'm already sick of salad and I haven't even seen the dietician yet. I do that tomorrow in the early afternoon. I also feel like I'm constantly hungry and it's been really hard to stick to the diet. Tomorrow I should get a glucometer, however, which will start giving me an idea of how I'm doing, based on what the readings say. I have a feeling the headaches I've been getting are more from the diabetes than Jareth - Jareth just manages to make them worse frequently. They're the kind of headaches where all I want to do is crawl into bed and turn out the lights. Maybe even add an ice pack to my head. They tend to make me cranky too, which is lovely since my emotions have been all over the board lately to begin with.

While the new diet has made the heartburn issues a little better lately, it's not gone completely. Instead, it seems to have kicked my normal colon troubles back into gear and I've been having abdomenal pain and sudden trips to the bathroom more and more frequently lately. I won't go into more detail than that, let's just leave it at "ooooow!" and then "eeeeeew!" in way of description. I haven't even really added much of the cheese to the diet that I did last time, as I got seriously gassy last time because of it. I just know that gas will only make my abdominal pains worse, so I've been trying to find a nice balance. At least I've been drinking some milk with dinner each night nowadays, so between that and the calcium supplements I take I'm not worried about my calcium intake. I should be getting plenty.

That's about all for right now. I've got other stuff I could post, but Brian is letting me go to bed first tonight since I have to get up for class in the morning and he's got tomorrow off. We're also hoping to get our holiday decorations up tomorrow afternoon too, so that we can have our kitchen back from the boxes of lights, tree, and ornaments that have invaded it. But, though we did the "official" celebration on Sunday, tomorrow is my Mother-In-Law's birthday so I just wanted to add...

From what I understand, she's got the day off work and my Father-in-Law is taking her shopping. Sounds fun. Of course, in MY case it would have to be a book store or electronics store more than likely. But then she's not as tomboy or geeky as I am, so she'll probably go a different direction entirely. I just hope she has fun!

That's all for now. I'm off to bed.

G'night!

Current Mood: determined

On The Wagon...

Well, I've finally gotten into the "diet" now. I was able to get to the store and pick up groceries for salad, diabetes shakes, and diabetes snack bars the other day and I finally had time today to stand in the kitchen for a half an hour making ten salads up. I do have to say that I outdo myself when it comes to salads, as I just can't stand to do some bland bit of lettuce and a smidge of dressing. I've got romaine lettuce (as well as more romaine lettuce that had red cabbage and carrots added to it), broccoli, bean sprouts, broccoli sprouts, carrots, sugar snap peas, cherry tomatoes, chicken, turkey, and cheese in my salads. All I have to do is add some dressing and *poof* lunch. I also had a low sodium V8 with it.

Breakfast is a Glucerna shake, although I'm also giving the Slim-fast low-carb shakes a try (chocolate, of course). So far I think I'll stick with the butter pecan Glucerna ones. The only problem is that they aren't exactly "filling" so I end up feeling hungry still until snacktime comes around.

So far, snacks are either apples with peanut butter, cheese and crackers, or a Glucerna snack bar. I've also got some Slim-fast meal bars I'm trying for days like yesterday when I didn't have time for lunch. Actually, however, it was terrible and I'll try another brand next time. Eww. It was like eating a rice crispy treat with sugar-free chocolate on it and something boring to stick it together instead of butter and marshmallows. Bleh. If I'd wanted chocolate-covered rice cakes I would have bought chocolate-covered rice cakes. Hell, it might have been better if I HAD.

Yesterday, I spent nearly nine hours straight at the jewelry lab at school, between class and open lab afterwards. I've been working on the pieces more today in the hopes of getting them done in time. Again, I've got other projects queued up that also need doing so it looks like my schedule is spoken for until sometime early next week. I don't know how much time I'll get in for blogging until then other than Quick Shtick Writing. As it is, I actually forgot to do QSW yesterday! I didn't end up having time to do it before leaving in the morning so I'd left myself a note on my keyboard. By the time I got home yesterday, I'd spent so much time on my feet I ended up needing crutches for the rest of the evening (hip troubles from the pregnancy again) and ended up going to bed without having ever gone back downstairs to my computer. I didn't see my note until today, which meant that Brian didn't post this morning either as it was still my turn to write an entry. At least our readers still had his post to read yesterday. *sigh* Although we do update more often than most webcomics and other projects on the web, even doing it on the weekends when most people take time off, I still hate it when we have to miss a day. If nothing else, *I* enjoy reading where our story is going too! heh.

I feel like I've sanded my own fingertips right off with all the work I've been doing on the jewelry though. Today I also managed to burn my arm on the metal fixture that holds my work light too. Some stuff is taking a while to clean up and I'm nearly out of some of my sandpaper grits. I may have to make a run for some tomorrow, although I hope not as it's snowing right now and I don't want to have to shovel myself out. Brian just called and said they're letting him leave early so he has a chance of getting home at a reasonable hour tonight. He had several inches on his car already, although it's not as bad here yet - we live about 45 minutes north of where he's working. Maybe traffic won't be too horrible for him, although he will be fighting rush hour as well.

Meanwhile, I'm going to attempt to adjust the speed setting on my flex shaft rotary tool and get back to work sanding, buffing, and polishing up my jewelry projects. Wish me luck! And keep your fingers crossed that I don't make so much noise that I wake Jareth up from his naptime in the process. I've had a hard time making him keep his distance from all the stuff I'm working with today as it is.

G'night!

Current Mood: determined

Busy, Busy, Business...

There's been a lot going on these days, to the point where I get to the end of the day and haven't had time or brain left to blog even though I've got stuff I could blog about...

Class, for example, is winding down to the end. On the 14th, I will have to present all of the work I've done over the course of the semester. That requires that I have all the pieces actually finished, something which I feel like I'm scrambling to do right now. I feel like I didn't learn all I should have for the first half of the class, as if I'm missing some important knowledge that I should have right now as I try and finish everything up. I'm not trusting myself, but questioning everything I do, which slows the whole darn process down.

I do think I'll get finished in time, but it might be cutting it to the line on a couple of the pieces. We'll see.

I still haven't gotten to the grocery store to pick up the proper diet additions for the gestational diabetes. Mostly because Jareth has been running a fever on and off for a couple days now and I've been trying not to run him all over the place too much. We did have a dinner that we went to on Saturday anyway, but the fever had died down after some children's advil had been administered, so we hoped at the time it was just a one-time thing. The next day, however, it came back again and was there again this morning. I kept him on medicine all day today and made sure he didn't go anywhere so that he'd recover. I'm not entirely sure he's sick, however, as the only other symptoms are a little crankiness and some diarrhea. We also noticed that a lower back tooth is coming in, which could also be causing it, so I'm keeping an eye on him. He's eating and playing just fine, so I'm not overly worried, but I'm making sure he gets lots of fluids just the same.

I'm also trying to get the yearly newsletter that we send out to family and friends put together right now. I bugged Brian to get his part of it done, and now I'M the one who's falling behind. While I'm sure I'll have no trouble writing it up when I sit down to do it, the artistic end of things is partly what's slowing me down. I like to do something fun with the card we put it in each year and I've been feeling like I'm shooting blanks on the artistic end of things recently. I had an idea earlier this evening, however, and I think I might run with it and see how it turns out. About damned time the creative juices started flowing a little on the visual arts end of things!

While I am still a bit down about the gestational diabetes being in effect again (and especially emotional today for some odd reason - my eyes kept flooding up for stupid reasons!), I think I've moved on some already. One thing I'll say, however, is that the MOMENT someone tells you you CAN'T have something, it becomes the thing you crave the MOST. Today I found myself eating a thing of yogurt that Jareth didn't like (another attempt to get more calcium into the kid - he liked the other flavor we tried, but not the one today) because it tasted sweet (and NOT AT ALL like yogurt - of which I despise the taste). Of course I ended up beating myself up over it some afterwards when I looked at the nutritional information on the damned thing. Turns out nearly all the carbs in the thing was SUGAR!!! No WONDER it didn't taste like yogurt! I thought yogurt was supposed to be GOOD for you! BAH! And here I thought I'd found another potential for the "snacks" I'm allowed at certain points in the day. *sigh* Maybe I'll manage to find some yummy solutions tomorrow when I finally (hopefully) hit the store.

Last, but not least, I've been meaning to add in a congratulations to two of the bloggers I check in on who have both recently earned their NaNoWriMo official "Winner" web icons for writing a "novel" of 50,000 words or more over the month of November. Both Will of LA Scene, and Ruth of Daily Cud have both bravely stepped in and wrangled through the writer's block to victory! Way to go guys!!!

I had thought about doing it myself this year, but the past month has been so hectic I'm actually am glad I didn't try to add that into an already busy schedule. Maybe, if I remember in time, I'll try and join the ranks myself next year. In the meantime, I'll keep myself content with the daily posts at Quick Shtick Writing, that keep me in some level of a disciplined writing "habit" and help me hopefully continue to develop my skills as a writer overall.

Anyway, that's all for now. I still have some e-mail to get to tonight yet.

G'night!

Current Mood: busy

Thus ends the "Comfort Food" stage...

Today is not a good day. Today is the last day. The last day I will get to eat the diet I've had for the last few months. The last day I get to have breakfast (I'll now be having a Glucerna shake instead, since that's all I could get away with last time). The last day I will allow myself peanut butter and jelly for lunch, since I haven't been to the store yet to supply myself with the other food (salad, salad, more goddamned salad, with meat and other crap added into it to balance it properly) I will need to be eating instead. The last day I will indulge in any chocolate or other sweet that is not part of a holiday celebration. Even today, I will only allow myself a little bit. Because, honestly, I need the "comfort" part of the "comfort food". But today is the last day until sometime in March, when the baby is born, that I can get away with any of that (tonight I'll have to make Brian hide the chocolate I bought only yesterday). Because today, they told me the results of my glucose test. I am now, officially "diabetic" until the baby is born.

Damnit!!! I knew it was probably going to happen, but there was a little, teeny part inside of me that had been hoping I could get away without having gestational diabetes this time around. After all, this pregnancy hasn't exactly been going easy on me to begin with. So I suppose I shouldn't have bothered letting that little spark of hope entertain itself all this time. But, everyone around me kept reminding me how it wasn't guaranteed to be the case...

*cries*

I know it's not the end of the world. I did fine last time. But, I was never so relieved when my son was born perfectly healthy and I could stop jabbing the hell out of my poor sore fingertips several times a day. My glucometer broke about a week before I gave birth, but they didn't bother replacing it as I had the diet well enough under control that my numbers were regular. I didn't need any insulin (thank goodness!) either. And, hey! I even left the hospital weighing less than I did at that first pregnancy weigh-in, so I lost some of my own weight in the process too.

But it still sucks. I LIKE food. I like the taste of it in my mouth. And it seems like most of the problem with the diet for this is that they take anything that tastes good and put it in the "don't touch!" category. Then there's the "eat a gazillion times per day" part too. I just don't have time for that. I thought my schedule was busy to begin with - now I'll have to stop every X hours and have a "snack". Only one of those snacks per day will likely be something that tastes good to me. Last time they let me have apples with a little peanut butter on the slices. I at least like that snack.

I guess I'll need to get out that little scale again, and start measuring out how many of certain things I'm allowed to have. I have an appointment the same day my classes end for this semester. It sucks that I'll probably cry on the same day that I get the victory of having finished the first class, but they told me that the first appointment will likely take 2 - 3 hours and I can't afford to pay for a babysitter to watch Jareth while I go let someone make me cry and feel fat again. Not now that all the extra cash will likely need to go to fund my stupid diet plan. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were cheap. The "mega-salad supreme lunch plan" is not.

Excuse me while I go crawl into a corner and feel like I've failed again...

Oh, and it figures - Happy two year anniversary of blogging to me. *sigh*

G'night.

Current Mood: depressed