DragonBlog

Down to a reasonable level!

Well folks, I finally broke down and did the dirty deed - turned on Spam Assassin on my server to cut down on the 100-some-odd spam e-mails I was getting per day. So... If I don't respond to an e-mail - it's possible you got filtered out! I don't know how strongly it filters, to be honest, but so far I think I've gotten an average of about 5 or 6 spam messages per day now, mostly coming in from other e-mail addresses I haven't turned it on for yet. That just gave me back something like 10 minutes of my life each day. Yay me!

I've also decided I do NOT like GoDaddy.com for web hosting. Unless you are willing to pay the excruciating $88 per month for dedicated hosting - you cannot install Movable Type on their servers. Bugger that! The client I'm working on a blog for right now signed up for GoDaddy. I didn't realize that a hosting/domain company as popular as they are would be so restrictive. I think they just want people to put up simple sites, preferably using their little program instead. Bah! No fun at all. Or, maybe I've just been spoiled rotten by the good folks at Cleverdot.com. They may have the occasional glitches in the system, but they do a great job and give me lots of tools to work with.

I swear though, they should seriously give me kickbacks for all the times I've plugged them on this blog or with other people... LOL. Then again, if they keep bumping up my server space and upgrading stuff every so often - I'm happy.

In other news, I picked up a Kodak EASYSHARE Photo Printer 300 on eBay, which arrived yesterday. This little jobber rocks. I've already picked up more paper and such for it so I can print more, although it looks like I'll get a better deal buying online in the future. I am VERY pleased with the output on this little printer, and have already whipped up wallets and desk photos of the kids for Brian and I.

I'm using this photo of Kayla, from the end of July:

Yeah, I know. She's cute. I added this photo to the gallery too, so you can gaze at her cuteness in large-sized bliss, and let her cuteness own you. 'Cause you know she's totally got us wrapped around those little fingers of hers already. I'm just working on increasing her fan base. *grin*

Meanwhile, more stuff to do, so that's all for now.

Enjoy!

Current Mood: enthralled

Marking My Territory & PICTURES!!!

Well, the sunburn has stopped hurting, but now it itches something fierce, as it peels. I'm leaving little bits of my dead skin all over the house, it seems. The cats are probably annoyed that I'm marking my territory.

Now that I'm back I've had to renew my search for someone to watch the kids while I'm in class, since the woman I'd supposedly gotten doesn't seem to answer her e-mail, and didn't give me her phone number. Out of the four people up for the job - one never got back to me to arrange an interview in the first place, one didn't have enough experience with kids to make me comfortable, one was great, but doesn't want to work in my disaster of a house while we're in remodel hell (not that I want to be here while it's such a wreck either, but that's another blog entirely) so she offered to do it at her house instead and then never answered my e-mails, and then another that decided she wasn't the "right fit" for my family. Which was correct, mind you, she wasn't. I've never really had to do a lot of babyproofing with Jareth. Partly because I supervise him all the time, and partly because he behaves rather well. That last woman had a child of her own she would have brought with her, who instantly set about trying to find and play with every hazardous or fragile item in my house upon arriving! Okay, maybe not every item. I think she also wanted to plug my son into the TV with hers too. That wouldn't have worked for me.

Now I'm looking at the dreaded day care centers, and day cares people have in their homes. Ugh. I've got about a million phone calls to make. As it is, Brian had to stay home from work on Monday morning to cover my first day of class. This is so frustrating. I want someone qualified, with references, and all that jazz, but I can't afford to pay some of these places that want $300 a WEEK to look after my kids! Especially since I'm doing this to take a class, not bring in extra income yet. I've still got to work with what Brian makes right now.

Plenty of other stuff going on and being worked on right now, but I'll throw a bone to my readers here - the PICTURES from Florida are up! With captions even! Click the picture below to be taken to the gallery I set up for those pictures:

Okay, gotta go. More stuff to do, and a little boy needs to be put down for a nap now.

Later!

Current Mood: busy

8:52 pm - The Day After (Chicago Time)

Well, the plane didn't blow up, crash, or otherwise fail to get me (or my luggage, for that matter) to my final destination. This is good. I couldn't wait to get my hands on my little ones and properly snuggle them. I forgot to mention the part where I'd found a penny on the beach, in amongst the shells yesterday morning. I tossed it into the bag with the shells - see a penny, pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck. Who knows, maybe the penny did it's job in making sure I made it home.

Some of my luggage was worse for the wear, however. One of the wheels is half-off my suitcase and it doesn't roll right. In case that wasn't bad enough, it looks like the TSA people poked through my belongings in there too, as everything was totally NOT how I had put it in there, and the twist-tie I had holding the zipper shut had been broken and put back on in halves. The tape tie that the nice airline check-in lady had added over my twist-tie was gone entirely. And one of the souveniers I had purchased for myself from a shop in Sanibel had been utterly crushed. I had taken great pains to carefully put it in the suitcase near the middle, wrapped in soft things first and then my jean-shorts around that to kind of contain it all from slipping around and coming undone. But, after TSA goes through your bags, forget about anything fragile. I'm just glad I'd packed the teeny-tiny starfish I'd bought into a can in their wrappings - they actually survived. But the beautiful flower I found, made out of shells, was smashed half to bits. It was devestating to unwrap. I mean I NEVER buy myself stuff like that - I usually by it for other people, but never "waste" the money on myself. So to have spent the money (although it wasn't a lot, per se) and have it destroyed... Next time I WILL take the risk and try UPS instead. Sheesh.

Brian, however, has already agreed that it was a really cool souvenier and that I should contact them and get another one for myself. I've e-mailed them already, but the person who answers the e-mail is on vacation so I won't know for a while. And now I'll have to pay to have it shipped to boot. Good grief. It was a really neat thing though, and I wanted it to be part of the "nautical" theme I want to eventually do in our bedroom. I figure I'll take the biggest and nicest of the shells I found and purchased and use them in there too - dual-purposing them as both inspiration for jewelry and decoration.

Everything else seems to have survived. I don't think I had quite the same experience when I flew United/US Airways last year, when Brian and I went away on vacation for our anniversary. I blame the guy I saw winging the luggage at the conveyer into the airplane in Miami. He wasn't even watching what he was doing, just grabbing bags and throwing them in the general direction of the belt. They landed hard. I wouldn't be surprised if a few other people had things break too, but then I also saw that some people had these serious hardshell suitcases that would probably survive if the plane crashed. This being only the second time I've gone anywhere and back via plane, I'm not quite as savvy on what will survive the trip and what won't. Next time I'll just ship stuff home to myself. Lesson learned. The hard way, of course, but learned nonetheless.

Oh, and the hotel? I don't think I'd recommend The Outrigger to anyone. I think there might have been bugs in the bed after all, based on the fact that I suddenly noticed that I seemed to sprout a bunch of bug bites, starting the morning I left. They itch like hell. I just hope I didn't bring any of whatever it was home with me. I'll have to go onto tripadvisor.com, where I found that hotel ranked pretty high, and leave my own review. Considering I was left unimpressed by a restaraunt I found on there as well, I think I'll stop bothering to use that web site as a reference for places anymore either. Ugh.

Today has seemed to just slip by me, as I spent most of it just snuggling and being with my kids - reminding them that I'm back and how much I missed them. I also needed to let Kayla graze all day, milk-wise, so that my body understands the whole supply vs. demand thing again. We seem to be doing okay though - I think I'm still making about the same "nearly enough" as I was before. Two cheers for the breast pump! I'd say three, but it's not that nice of a pump. Ow. That would be the other reason why I only left for a couple of days. hehe.

Tomorrow I'll need to bust back into the routine again. Groceries need picking up, laundry needs doing, a trip to the bank, etc. And I'm still working out the details of who's watching the kids Monday morning, while I go to the first day of the fall semester's jewelry class. And there's still some web design stuff that I'm working on, and the remodelling of Kayla's room, and so on...

*sigh*

Excuse me, while I just go watch a little 30-second video I took of the gulf waters rolling in onto the beach. Or maybe the one of the wake of the boat as we rode away while the sun set behind us. Or maybe just one of the ones with the birds in them... That little bit of serenity I found out there has to last me a while yet. I can't let it all drizzle away in the first week. I haven't taken off the hemp anklets I wore (made by me, of course) the entire time out there - so they still have some sand in there, washed in by the gulf. I may not take them off for a while - as a reminder. *grin*

Oh - and pictures will be uploaded soon. I promise. There's just LOTS of them and I have to resize, upload, and do captions on each one, which takes a while.

G'night!

Current Mood: hopeful

3:01 pm Blogging midair

Okay, well I'm not actually posting while on the plane, as that would require internet. I am, however, typing this while in the air. In contrast to the previous flight, this plane is huge. A couple hours plus to go yet before we reach Chicago, and I'm bored. At this point I just can't wait to see my family. I tried listening to some of the radio stuff they have on the plane, since I have headphones with me, but overall it's not much to my taste. I'm wondering how much battery using Winamp will suck away. Or maybe I'll just play solitaire until the battery dies...

Current Mood: bored

2:37 pm - Miami

I've never flown on a plane as small as the one I came to Miami in before. I've also never been to Miami before, although I'm really not going to get to see much more than what I'll get out the plane windows and the airport itself.

I had this fear in my stomach from the moment I got into the little plane. It had two propellers, instead of the big, loud, honkin' engine I had next to my ear on the trip out. I have a feeling I'll be next to an engine again on the way back home to Chicago. I could feel every little bump of turbulance in the air and found myself clutching the seat in front of me with one hand and the armrest next to me with the other. I reminded myself several times of the affirmations from before...

I believe in the magic that keeps the plane in the air.
I believe in the skill of the pilot flying it.
I believe in those seemingly weenie little propellers...
ack!
I believe.
*gulp*

At least the little airplane didn't go high enough to make my ears hurt on the descent like it did on the way to Fort Myers. However it was scary. I wanted off that plane from the first moment I got on it. *shudders*

Obviously, if you're reading this, I made it safely home. The airport in Miami has internet access, but they want money for it so I'm blogging in Notepad until I can get home and upload it. If I don't make it to Chicago for some odd reason, hopefully they will pull the mangled wreck of my laptop out and Brian will upload it for me... hehe... Okay. I'm ready to be done flying now. But there's still the long-ass flight to Chicago. *sigh*

I was reminded of another thought from the vacation, however - from the little sunset cruise I took yesterday. I know why boats are always a "she" - because they rock from side to side like a mother does while holding her baby.

Oops.. boarding now. Gotta go.

Current Mood: anxious

12:54 pm - Airport

The airport in Fort Myers lets me onto the internet. Yay! I'm waiting for the plane to begin board for the first flight today - a short one to Miami, before the long one to Chicago.

I keep thinking of things I've forgotten to mention in the previous blogs. Like the classical music that played on the rental car radio while I was at the wildlife refuge - adding to the ambiance. Or the mold/mildew in the bathroom shower at the hotel. I started sneezing any time I took a shower. Let's just say the hotel was not the highlight of the trip, but the scenery was. There was also a moment on my way back to the car, after shelling at Bowman's beach, where I couldn't hear any traffic - just the local wildlife, and the water hitting the beach behind me. It was phenomenally beautiful. I like to remember moments like that. To etch them into my mind for later, when the chaos ensues again.

We'll be boarding soon, and I need to check a setting on my laptop first. Maybe more in Miami. We'll see...

Current Mood: mellow

10:11 am - Preparing to Leave

7:00 am - I've already snoozed for an hour before pulling myself out of bed. It's not actually too hard to do, considering that rolling over to try and snooze the alarm again scrapes the rough, white sheets against my sunburned back. I take more Tylenol as soon as I've turned the alarm properly off.

I waste no time getting into my suit, wincing as the straps settle onto my shoulders, and slip the coverup gently over my back and shoulders so that I won't make matters worse. Put on my bag, with the door key, camera, and shelling bag. I'm ready for one last trip to the beach.

On my way out, I take a quick shot of the view just outside the room - parking lot - for posterity's sake. I snap pictures as I go down the stairs and out towards the water, capturing the hotel, the pool, and the scenery heading away from it. More shots of birds, including a short video of a group of them. "Short" meaning 30 seconds - that's all my camera can do. It's enough.

I move through the cool, still water that seems to belong to the birds. A few of them squawk at me as if I was trespassing. I click my camera back at them. Then we each go on our way.

On the beach itself, the warm gulf waters cleanse my feet as I turn my eyes downward once again. I get another video of the water washing back and forth over a horseshoe crab half buried in the sand. Then I'm distracted again - there are more shells to pick up.

It's like some sort of addiction. I can't keep my eyes away from the ground, once I've begun. Each shell seems to lead me to the next. A few have to get tossed back towards the gulf, as they are still inhabited. They earn a reprieve from the birds feasting on them. I find myself thanking the birds, however, as I continue. The remnants of their morning meal remains for me to find my own treasure in. I realize I haven't bothered to eat anything yet myself. Nevermind that - it can wait.

I tell myself a thousand times that I'm done, but then see another shell. And then another. Wait - this one has a different pattern to it - smoother, spikier, swirlier, more colorful. I look for pieces of thicker ones that I can use for jewelry.

The sand itself reminds me of the play sand that Jareth has in his sandbox back home. It is fine and pure, work the gulf has done for us over so many years. It feels good between my toes.

As I make my down some and then back, collecting shells, I see more horeshoe crabs. I avoid them, leaving them their space. I look down at the shells I'm collecting and suddenly ideas pop into my head - other ways I want to try to use them in jewelry designs. It is invigorating, filling me with a feeling of excitement I only get from creative inspiration. I collect shells with even more furvor now, excited as I see the pieces of jewelry forming in my mind's eye.

Eventually I stop. I have a plane to catch and can only afford so much time before I need to be packing and heading out. I still need breakfast and to shower, pump milk, and change into fresh clothes. Back to the hotel I go, only stopping a dozen or so times to take more pictures. I notice the bird tracks in the clear still patch of water on the beach, and get pictures of that. I take more shots of some flowers at the hotel grounds. Then back in my room to get on with the morning routine.

There is still food in the fridge that will be wasted, I fear. I take as much as I can to eat on the plane, but half a loaf of bread, some mayo, and then the liquids. A couple small bottles of wine are left, along with some short-stack cans of mountain dew and some low sodium V8. I want desperately to bring the water bottle with, but know that they won't allow any of it on the plane.

I do my best to wrap my shells - both found and purchased - in such a way that they won't be smashed on the trip. I pack my suitcase. Seems to be much fuller than when I left, and I only barely manage to get it fully closed. As it is, I steal the twist-tie off the bread bag and use it to tie the zippers together so it won't spring open. Am glad I didn't bring more clothes - I didn't realize how many shells I was going to need room for! I pack my carry-on too, leaving my computer for last so I can type this up. I hope I'll have just enough time to upload it before I go to check out. I put on my bra and shirt last - sunburn again, and I was letting the lotiony stuff soak in and hopefully help the pain. I take a couple more Tylenol and a last look around before heading out of the room to pack up the car...

Current Mood: rejuvinated

9:11 pm - A Myriad of Thoughts

First off, I forgot to go back to the apples I mentioned in the last post. I seem to have a habit of forgetting to eat while I'm here, so it was a good thing I'd bought those two apples. Okay, well a good thing I bought one of them, anyway, as the other one is still in the mini-fridge in the room. However, I hadn't eaten any lunch yet when I arrived at Bowman's Beach, Sanibel yesterday to do some shelling, so I ate one of my apples on my way to the beach. I didn't end up getting around to making a sandwich for myself until close to 3:30 pm, when I finished pumping milk back at the hotel room and then made a late lunch to take down to the deck while I logged on. I've had similar eating mishaps today, wherein I forget about food entirely. It's actually a really good thing I stocked up on some stuff for the mini-fridge, otherwise I might starve for lack of stopping somewhere to eat!

I also wanted to mention that Brian was right when he mentioned that one of the critters I described on Fort Myers Beach sounded like a horseshoe crab. A google search confirmed it, and when I get around to uploading all the pictures, you'll see for yourself. I could have bought tiny dead ones at the shell shop I was at today, but... well... ewww. I got shells instead. Extra pretty ones that I was unlikely to find at the beach, and some little starfish I want to try and play with for jewelry.

I'm planning to use the shells and sealife theme for some of my jewelry. However, I sometimes bog myself down with the feeling that anything I might want to do has somehow all been done before. It's kind of like the sightseeing here in Florida - everywhere I go, someone has already been there before. Granted, no one else has specifically seen it from my perspective, so they haven't had the same experience as I have. But I sometimes have that nagging feeling that there is nothing original I can contribute - it's all been done before. I guess I've looked at one too many ads for the jewelry shops around here, with all their pretty pieces based on... well, yeah... the shells and sealife around here. Hrm.

But, no matter how many times I have feelings that might deter me, I intend to plod on. I enjoy making jewelry. It's another creative outlet, and more true to myself than any web page I might design. While I enjoy doing that too, I'm creating something that is intended to represent someone else, not me. So, I will still dabble ('cause c'mon - you know I'm a total computer geek!), but eventually I'll get to a point where I shift entirely to the jewelry, I'm sure.

Today's adventures filled the day completely, hence the lack of small blog posts throughout this time. I started off by checking in with one of the sightseeing cruise places, only to find that I'd missed an opportunity to go on a shelling cruise by about 15 minutes. I'd had a slow start that morning, since I had trouble fallng alseep last night - this sunburn is a bitch! It also sucks that I can't reach all the areas of my back that are burnt! Owww!

After chatting with them and noting the time for a later boat, I went back to Sanibel. There is a vast difference in style and feel between Sanibel-Captiva and Fort Myers Beach. I have kept finding myself drawn to Sanibel overall. While Fort Myers Beach has a festive, brightly painted feel to it, Sanibel-Captiva has more of a resort hideaway feel. I've also noticed the difference between the urban Illinois that I know and Florida overall. In Chicago, it feels like everything is very "right there at the road." We use up every inch of space until you get far enough away from Chicago that there start to be actual fields here and there. Then, the shopping centers start being set back from the road a bit.

But here, in Forida, as I leave the Airport or drive the highways, I've noticed that it sometimes seems difficult to identify the buildings. Sometimes it's just a matter of construction - some of the architecture is different here. Other times it's just the sheer distance from the road and the amount of trees and vegetation that are between the road and the building in question. Everything feels very set back, especially as I drive away from the Fort Myers airport.

However...

The minute you even get close to the water, the buildings start being packed tight together again.

In contrast the the laid-back feeling of the buildings near the airport, there is a feeling that every single inch of space has been claimed on the islands and the immediate shoreline near them. Jam-packed with hotels, shopping, restaraunts, mini-golf (though not as much of that as in some places I've been at least), resorts, marinas, and as many other attractions they can think of to entice the unwary traveler. Everyone who can have a stake in the beach does, although I imagine the insurance premiums down here are simply outrageous!

Anyway, enough observations for the moment - back to the day...

I finally hit the Shell Museum, where the woman who worked as a guide in the actual exhibit used to live in Chicago at one time. Seems to me that half the people who live in Florida moved there from Chicago. I recall it feeling that way everywhere we went around St. Augustine / Jacksonville a few years ago when Brian and I visited. Those nasty Chicago winters I think... driving them all south.

The Shell Museum was very cool, with shells from around the world and a highlight on the local shelling fare. I followed that up by taking the driving tour of the wildlife refuge next, where I had a wonderful time playing shutterbug every quarter mile or so. I've got some neat shots of some birds, crabs, a turtle, a baby alligator, and even one little racoon that ran across the road at one point. I also pegged a butterfly, a dragonfly, and the occasional plantlife. I really wish I had a more serious zoom lens on my camera for stuff like this. Totally.

After that, I drove for a bit, up to Captiva island to check out the beach. However, unlike Sanibel, the Captive island beaches don't take credit cards for the $2.00 parking fee, and I was fresh out of cash after forking over my last four bucks to pay for the refuge tour. It was supposed to be five bucks, but the lady took pity on me. Thank you!!

So I took one quick snapshot of the farthest public beach on Captiva before I made my way back to Sanibel instead, to check out a couple of shops I'd been seeing and wanting to stop at. First was She Sells Sea Shells, for some shell souveniers. Then I stopped off at a bead shop, expecting to find shell beads. Unfortunately, that stop wasn't what I had hoped. That place mostly had stuff I could order from the catalogs I have at home.

I figured I'd been away long enough by then that I ought to get back to the hotel and pump, but I was still hoping to find gifts for the kids. So I made a quick stop at a place I'd seen in Fort Myers, where I picked up a couple of things. A soft stuffed turtle for Kayla, since she's too little to really get excited over much else just yet, and I've got a puzzle for Jareth and I to work on together, with pictures of shells and their names on it. It's small pieces, but he loves puzzles right now (and I always do too!) so I figure it can be one we work on as a team. I've missed them both so seriously much these couple of days that I just had to buy them stuff. I've also promised Jareth that I will share some of the shells I found on the beach with him. I think I've got enough to help him start a little "collection". hehe.

I find it interesting. I keep comparing this trip to one I took back in high school, when I went with the theatre group on some trip to a theatre gathering - I think it was called Illinois Theater Festival, or something like that. I don't honestly remember a whole lot about the event itself, just the bus ride and the hotel stay that were involved. And being in tears on the eve of that last day, not wanting to go home again.

I compare that with this one in the sense that it's totally different. While I have enjoyed my stay here (and would love to come back to this area of Florida again some time and explore some more!), I'm not phased by the fact that I leave tomorrow - I'm looking forward to my family instead. What a dramatic contrast it is. I've already imagined the hug I'm going to give Jareth, and worried over whether or not Kayla will latch on okay when I get to snuggle up for a feeding with her again. And then there's Brian. I think during the day, I've missed my kids more, as I've seen families here and their kids remind me of my own little ones. But during the evenings, however, I miss my husband desperately. I've wanted so many times to turn and talk to him about the things I've experienced here. I miss sharing this with him.

Although I will admit - I will most certainly miss the beach, and sitting at this little table on the deck while I blog and check my e-mail.

The last thing I did tonight (after pumping milk, catching a quick bite from the mini-fridge stocks, and checking e-mail) was the sunset sightseeing cruise. I think I've got some gorgeous pictures from that, and some video footage of wild dolphins playing in the gulf. Wow. I had a great time, and will later put up my picture of Mike, who captained the boat, and Ralph, who served up the champagne. They were both great, and were nice enough to chat with me for a bit at one point. There are also a couple pictures of ME that were taken - courtesy of a couple of people who were nice enough to take them for me. I reciprocated with some people too, so that families could have their pictures taken together instead of always having one person missing. There was a glorious sunset too - or maybe it just felt more special since it was vacation, and I was on a boat - but there seemed to be just the right amount of clouds to reflect the golden colors of the sun for the camera to capture. Beautiful.

That's enough for tonight. There's more, including some interesting people I met briefly, but I want to get to sleep soon so I can take a little time on the beach in the morning before I need to pack up and head out to the airport.

G'night!

Current Mood: relaxed

5:10 pm - Sanibel, Shells, Sunburn, and Other Small Adventures...

Well, I did find a bag - a small mesh one designed for collecting shells. And a watch. And bottled water, and another small bag to carry my camera and a couple other items while I'm collecting the shells. I also bought two apples. More on that later.

Just before I hit the Wal-Mart, where I spent a mere $20.05 on all the items I was looking for (which is amazing because back home my trips to Wal-Mart never come in under $50 - but then I'm usually buying things like diapers...), I hit the Batteries Plus. Their internet was down, so the nice guy at the counter made a phone call to make sure the battery for my laptop would be the right one. I spent considerably more than $20 on that, but now I won't just *POOF* lose everything mid-post like I did yesterday during Quick Shtick Writing when the downpour took out the electricity for a moment. While it's gorgeous sunny out here right now (I'm typing this on my laptop at a table on the deck), there's still thunderstorms and the like in the forcast for today and tomorrow yet. And I might be able to post from the airports on the return trip too. We'll see.

After the shopping, I planned to head back and drop stuff off at the hotel and pump a little more breastmilk before heading out to the Shell Museum. Instead, I got on the wrong road, and found myself forking over the six bucks it costs to get onto the island of Sanibel, via the causeway. I get flustered easily when I'm all alone in an unknown place. I panicked and paid the lady. Then I proceeded to the Sanibel Chamber of Commerce, where I spoke to a woman who used to live in Arlington Heights, IL, who directed me to some of the sights on Sanibel.

Okay, so realistically I need at least a week just to explore Sanibel itself. There is just too much to see!

What they don't tell you before you come, is that everyone out here wants a piece of your wallet. Pay to get on the island. Pay to drive through the nature preserve (which I might do tomorrow anyway). Pay to park by the beach. Yes, it's two bucks an hour to park at the public beaches there. However, the hour I spent was rather productive shelling-wise. Between this morning outside the hotel and the hour on Bowman's Beach in Sanibel early this afternoon, I've got a gallon Ziploc freezer bag nearly full up of shells. And there's still tomorrow yet. My suitcase is gonna be heavy! Almost makes me want to UPS them home. Almost. The suitcase is on wheels. I'll be fine.

Then again, there's an obvious reason why they all want the cash. Between all the brand-spanking-new buildings I saw today, and the ones still being built, and the occasional piles of rubble... well it's not the best financial decision, I expect, to live where hurricanes thrive. Gorgeous place to visit but I don't think you'll find me setting down roots or anything.

I also am noticing a trend here - the "elderly" employed. I've seen an awful lot of people who appear to be well past the retirement age, but are working hard at often more "menial" jobs. I'm guessing their social security just isn't quite covering the cost of resort living and whatever their medical coverage isn't. While Florida is stereotypically a place where the elderly come to retire, I don't think I've seen so many who aren't than I have here. Even in other parts of Florida, but maybe I just haven't noticed it in the past. You tend to notice things more when you're out alone. And there's more time to ponder on them too.

But back to the vacationy topics! The water is SO beautifully warm! Although I'm wishing I had some of those water shoes, since I had quite a few critters try to take a taste of my feet while I was out there. Ft. Myers' beach has lots more sand dollars (although the only whole one I found I had to leave IN the water, as it was still alive!), while on Sanibel, I found more variety of shells, and larger shells overall. The storms last night helped more shells come in with the tide today, and I was there as it started pushing in on the beach in Sanibel, bringing some very pretty ones in with it. Nothing huge, mind you, but still very nice. I'm also picking up thick pieces of colored shell with the hopes of shaping it for jewelry.

I also picked myself up a decent sunburn while I was at it. With the forecast the way it was, I ignorantly thought I wouldn't need sunscreen as I didn't figure I'd get to be on the beach that long. My back and shoulders hurt already. It's only going to get worse later. I may have to pick up something to put on it. Doh!

I never did make it to the Shell Museum, however. After shelling, I made my way back to Fort Myers Beach and the hotel to get with the breast pumping gig. Some of the clouds looked foreboding, however, so I zoomed out to the beach to play in the water without the camera in tow (since I don't like to leave it lying all unattended on the beach while I'm in the water). After nearly godzilla-stomping on a bunch of sand dollars and finding the coolest shell of all (but it was live, so I had to leave it there *pout*), I took a brief dip in the pool for contrast before dripping my way back upstairs. After "expressing myself" (no, I just couldn't help it. sorry.), I cooked up a sandwich and grabbed the pasta salad I bought yesterday and headed down here to blog and check my e-mail.

Okay, so THIS is totally the place to sit with my computer. In the shade of a palm-frond tiki umbrella, plugged into the internet, with a clear view of the gulf and sandy beach, and the tiki bar within calling distance.

Okay, so I'd swap the computer to have my husband here with me any day. I miss the kids bunches, but right now it's Brian whom I wish was here. However, I do get to do a voice chat thingy with him through the internet. I got to talk to Jareth too. And hear Kayla crying in the background at one point...

Mmmmm. Vacation is nice... ;-P

Current Mood: relaxed

7:57 am - My Sunrise

I arrive on the beach as the sun is beginning to rise, the sky lightening (as opposed to lightning), but still gray. The gulls are having breakfast, along with one other, larger bird. An area of water has remained, left behind as the tide moved out, and the gulls sit upon it, pecking down at the goodies the gulf has brought for them. They are cautious of me, but not outright afraid, so I keep some distance as I capture some footage of their morning meal. The water there is cool and still.

I move over the sandbar, where thousands of tiny shells have been washed ashore. I am momentarily mesmirized by the colors and shapes. This one is smooth. That one is colorful. Chips of bigger ones look wonderful for potential jewelry projects. I want to take them all home, for every one is beautiful to me. I force myself to only take some, since the beach itself won't fit into my suitcase.

A small hermit crab comes to a standstill as I step into the gulf waters. Upon seeing him, I whip out the camera. He obliges me before skittering off. There are more shells to be found in the water. Distracted, I move on at a crouch, dipping my sleeve into the water again and again.

I make my way back and forth between the sandbar and the water. The water of the gulf itself is warm - a sharp contrast to the coolness of before. Some shells have both sides - indications that the gulls have finished evicting the occupants somewhat recently. So far, these are all small.

I am stopped again by some sort of critter on the sandbar. A ray of some kind? He seems to have a hard, dark shell and a pointy tail. I pause to take a picture and then leave him be, hoping he makes it back to the water safely. He is no longer there on the return trip.

As I make my way back across the cooler water between the sandbar and the hotel, a feather catches my eye first. I collect two, noticing the way the water rolls off of them. Presents from the gulls. I'm wishing for a mesh bag of some sort, that I could strap across me and not worry about. I need something to carry the key card to the room, and all these shells. I've already collected quite a few. The beach bag I brought isn't quite cutting it. It's plenty big enough, but not convenient to carry.

A rock catches my eye. I pick it up and examine it, but then leave it behind. It belongs here still. Another one, oval and smooth white, catches my eye next. I pick it up. "I am finished here," it tells me. I tuck it in my bag with the shells.

The closer I get to the hotel, the more other things catch my attention. A small, perfectly round, white item turns out to be a bottle cap. A glint of something is just a slip of plastic wrapping. I leave the beach behind me, and rinse my feet before heading back to the room to examine my finds. I stop to record my thoughts on the laptop before heading out again. I want to see the shell museum today, and the upper islands. I also need that laptop battery. And water. The water from the bathroom sink...well...ewww. I saw a Wal-Mart yesterday. I also need a watch, as I forgot to bring one. Maybe I'll find a bag there too, if it's not too expensive. Who knows.

Current Mood: thoughtful

6:43 am - Well, that's Odd...

While changing clothes I noticed something else about the room - no soap! The towels are folded all pretty, there's an extra pillow, and they put a small arrangement of flowers in the room, but there's no soap. Every hotel/motel I've ever been in that I remember has always had bars of that cheap-ass (or better in a few cases) soap available at the very least. No wonder the teensy bugs hang out in the bathroom. Good thing I've got little bottles of bath soap with me. Seems I didn't overpack after all...

Current Mood: confused

6:21 am - Begin Day 2

Already awake. Didn't get to sleep until around midnight last night, despite the short night of sleep I'd gotten the night before. Woke up around 3 am too - to grab a towel to put underneath me - I guess I didn't pump enough before bed to keep me from leaking overnight. It's 6:21 am here now and I've already drank some breakfast, and some O.J. I picked up at the grocer, pumped the breastmilk, and resized photos to upload later. LOL. I'm not at all sleepy and I haven't had any caffeine yet! Screw this - I'm going to go out to the beach. If there isn't any scary lightning that is...

Current Mood: awake

8:42 pm - lightning (last post of Day 1)

Well, it seems that no matter who I ask, the policy here is that the internet "doesn't always work in all the rooms," which means mind, of course. My dreams of whiling away the little bit of time after the tiki bar closes shattered, I am resorting to typing up my posts in the room here, until I can steal downstairs again tomorrow for more internet connection. The best I get is two dots of signal strength that seem to vanish the moment I try to log in to the system. Bugger.

I did, however, venture down to the beach, and collect my first shell. Basically, it was the very first one I saw and so I snatched it up. Since it isn't "live," it's a keeper - it's the law here that shells that still have inhabitants have to be left on the beach. Then the massive amounts of lightning that stretched across the sky and seemed to be striking out on the water sent me skittering back to my room like a scared hermit crab. I swapped beach bag for purse and made my way down to the tiki bar instead. At least the rain was mostly stopped and the flood warning was no longer in effect, but the idea of being the only tall thing on a puddled, sandy beach during a lightning storm didn't quite appeal to me. The bartender said that, while he hadn't seen anyone actually get hit by lightning in the three years he'd been here, he still didn't think I ought to risk it unless I have a death wish. Since I don't, I finished my beer (thanks again for that "taste" of tequila, man!) and headed back to my room. I picked up some alcholic goodies at the grocers earlier too, so I'm sipping a mudslide at the moment, wishing for some non-lightning time tomorrow and a good night's sleep tonight. I'll probably just turn in early.

Oh, did I mention the bugs? Yes, there's these little, teensy bugs. They are outside in abundance, but they also seem to like the bathroom. I'm ignoring them, as I am bound and determined to have a good time here. They aren't in the bed at least. Or, if they are, I haven't seen them and I don't want to KNOW. They seem harmless enough anyway. It's not like they are cockroaches or anything. Although I don't know that I'd give this hotel the ranking it was getting on TripAdvisor.com. I'll have to add my review after it's all said and done. I do wish the room wasn't quite so... peachy-pink. *shudder* I'll have to get a picture of that too.

More tomorrow. G'night!

Current Mood: a little irritated

5:57pm (Fort Myers time!)

Okay, phew! I'm here. Online and typing this live instead of scribbling it down on paper and putting it up. I had to pay to get the Wi-Fi working (1 month subscription - I didn't realize I needed), and it only works in certain areas of the hotel which doesn't seem to actually include my room. So I'm in the cafe, sipping iced tea and eating a light dinner while I type up stuff.

As soon as my little Dodge Neon rental car pulled into the hotel parking space, it started raining. There was even a flood warning briefly. Sorry, Florida - I guess the Rayn has arrived!

I stopped off at a Publix grocery I saw on the way, instead of the one I'd mapquested, and I couldn't find the paper I'd printed on where the Batteries Plus is at, so I haven't gone there yet. Maybe tomorrow.

As for the room - they wanted me to upgrade as soon as I got here, which was slightly annoying, so I stuck with my lovely view of the parking lot. If I stand on my tippy-toes, I can almost see the gulf from my room. Oh well. The hotel is still on the beach, where I plan to spend a majority of my time anyway. Assuming I don't get washed off into the gulf, what with all the rain. 'Cause you know I'm putting on my suit and going out there no matter what.

This is my vacation damnit. There's gonna be sand. Even if it's wet.

More later. Or maybe not until tomorrow. We'll see. But, for now, Brian's online to chat with and I've got fries getting cold next to me. I already finished the "crabbycakes". Yum. I think the waitress thinks I'm nuts. But she was nice enough to search for the one working power outlet for me to plug my 'puter into, so she can think whatever she likes. She's nice. But I still imagine she thinks I'm nuts. *grin*

Current Mood: amused

10:55 am (Chicago Time)

The pilot just announced us arriving in the Fort Myers area. Didn't feel like reading more, so I drew a possible design for one of my projects when jewelry classes start up again next week. We'll see if I do that one or not.

Note to self - Must do Quick Shtick Writing still today. Brian's busy schedule due to the recent RV show meant some QSW slackage was needed. Seems too soon to let the story stagnate though, as we've only just begun it. I've got to kick it back into gear today.

Wait - I see the gulf out the window! Picture time!

(editor's note - pictures will come later, although there was no picture of the gulf from the air as I was too damn slow getting the camera out and missed the opportunity. There wasn't much of one, what with that big ol' engine in the way!)

Current Mood: bouncy

10:35 am - Pooping at 13,000 feet

Yes. I did. 'nuff said.

Halfway to my destination and I'm already done with one of my magazines.

Did you hear me? I said I read an entire magazine!

Wow.

"Me time" is great!

Current Mood: happy

9:03 am - I Believe...

I believe in the magic that keeps this plane in the air.
I believe in the big, LOUD, jet engines.
I believe in the nice man piloting the plane.

Nevermind the clouds I see out the window below me.
Nevermind that lurch in my stomach as the plan took off.

Nope. I believe.

Or, at least, that's what I'm gonna keep telling myself until this sucker lands safely.

I believe.

Current Mood: hopeful

8:21 am - Ask and Ye Shall Receive!

Only moments after I finished writing the last post, they called for people to start boarding. I went to the ladies room, peeked at the plane through the windows, and then they were calling my name as one of the few remaining that needed to board. Doh!

Oh - I asked for a window seat. I have a lovely view of the engine. Ahh, well. I'm flying coach. What more can I say? Not much, actually - you wouldn't be able to hear me over the engine!

Current Mood: anxious

7:56 am

Haven't even left yet and already I miss my kids. There's a woman with a little boy about Kayla's age, sitting near the doorway. She holds him up in the air and talks to him, like I do with Kayla. If Jareth were here, we'd be sitting by the windows so he could watch the phones. I can imagine him, pressed up against the glass: "Oop! There goes one!" he'd probably say.

The man across from me just finished eating some McDonalds. I'm hungry, but not that hungry. Figures that that's the closest food to where I'm at. Still a half an hour until I board - give or take. Bored. Nervous, but mostly bored. Back to my magazine before my hand cramps up from writing. Not used to this whole "pen" thing anymore. Miss my keyboard.

Current Mood: bored

7:27 am - Day 1

You know it's love when your family gets up and leaves the house at the ungodly hour of 5:30 am, just to help you get to the airport on time. Having never navigated the airport before, we drop me off miled away from the terminal I need (or at least it felt like miles), but fortunately there's a tram thingy and lots of signage to get me there. The two hours we planned to get me to the plane ends up being way more than needed, but an "orange alert" status had us worried it would take longer. They did scan my carry-on twice, even though I'd removed the laptop and digital camera. I guess the power cords must have looked cranky.

Of course we found out last night that my laptop battery won't take a charge, so the lovely signs advertising Wi-Fi have me pouting and doing this by hand. I guess I'll have to put this in when I get to the hotel - after I stop off for a new battery. Already MapQuested a Batteries Plus near the airport when I arrive. That and a grocery store so I don't spend a ton on food. Especially now that I have to pay for a battery - urg.

Part of the fun for me in all this is to blog it...

Current Mood: anxious

Just Tits Today, No Ass...

I guess there's a little bit of fuss over this cover of Baby Talk magazine. The main issue being, of course, the fact that there is a *gasp* breast prominently displayed within the image. No nipple even. Just the side of the breast, and the beautiful child who's eyes are lovingly gazing up at mommy while breastfeeding. One of those moments that only a mother and child can share. The article that the cover refers to can be found here, and is dead-on when it talks about some of the issues that cause women to stop breastfeeding. I experienced nearly all of them, some of which ended my breastfeeding with Jareth earlier than I had hoped to do it for.

I'm the type of person who doesn't like to ask for help at all costs, and I had been given the impression that anything other than the breastmilk was a sin while breastfeeding, for example. This time my milk came in better, yes, but supplementing with formula is the real reason that I'm still breastfeeding today. The knowledge that a little formula once or twice a day (some days, not even that now!) isn't going to ruin my breastfeeding has been a huge blessing for both Kayla and I. Now that we've gotten past the sore nipples, the clogged milk ducts (mostly, at least I guess that's what the horrible pain I was getting was all about), and the bazillion feedings each day, we've settled in rather nicely most days. At least I feel less like a failure each time she has to have a bottle of formula to top her off. I say less, only because I'm a perfectionist like that. Sucks to be me.

But this AOL News article was brought to my attention through the online discussion in one of my moms' groups. It's about the cover of the magazine itself. And that so many people are up in arms about how disgusting it is...

Alright, THAT just pisses me off.

It's not like I didn't have enough problems breastfeeding. Talk about conflicting messages here. I've got people who made me feel guilty for even considering quitting with Kayla. People who left me feeling guilty for bailing out with Jareth, even after I cried for weeks before Brian and I decided that Jareth would be better off without the stress over it all. It was like day and night when we switched Jareth to formula. Something in my milk was making him extra gassy, (I've since found out that it was probably because I couldn't get him to stay latched on for long enough, and he wasn't getting the tail end of the milk) and he was miserable. On the formula he was a happier baby. And yet, I still have people who quietly shake their head and leave me feeling as if I failed my child somehow. Even with Kayla, I get left thinking people think me a failure because I supplement. At one point, when I mentioned thinking about quitting with Kayla, I had someone lead me to believe that it was expected I'd quit, I guess because I "failed" with Jareth. And there was one friend who left me feeling like she would look down on me if I bailed, since she had managed to go for 18 months with her child. She had told me of another mom who had switched to bottles, and how disappointed she was in that mom. Instead of support, all I seemed to get was reminders about how I'd be a failure as a mother if I didn't do everything possible to continue breastfeeding. How I must be a failure in their eyes for not continuing with Jareth.

And, to top it all off, it feels as if I've gotten a lot more of "well, did you do this?" instead of "I've heard this works" or "this worked for me" from people close to me. Once again, the amount of information passed down to me by my mother on the subject was left lacking (in this case because she died long before I ever got married, much less pregnant), and I didn't have time to read a whole lot on the subject. As a result, I'm left feeling like an idiot again because I didn't know something. This is why my husband is the only one I ask for advice from. He's the only one that seems to understand the concept of "no stupid questions." Unfortunately, as a guy, his wealth of knowledge is somewhat limited when it comes to the subject of breastfeeding.

I'm also the type of person who worries about other people's opinions of me. Too much so, I admit, but that's one of those things I've yet to be able to stop doing to myself. As it is, when I breastfeed in public, I judge the company I'm in before I determine whether I need to hide behind a big blanket, thus dooming myself and my daughter to sweat in the summer heat just so she can get a meal without offending someone. I am relieved when I go to places with my moms' groups, as I generally don't need to worry as much, but I still choose my shirts based on whether or not I'll need to feed Kayla while I'm out. I long for the day when I don't wear big, baggy shirts purely because I want something that I can better hide what I'm doing without the big blanket. I'm not comfortable exposing my breast in public - but that discomfort is purely because I don't want to risk having someone come by and be disgustedby what I'm doing. Because they can't seem to separate the innocence of feeding my child the way nature intended from the sexual tag that has been attributed to the female breast.

Sorry, pious people, but as my husband is keenly aware of - Kayla owns my breasts right now. There's nothing sexual about them. They are milk machines. End of discussion. So, when I whip one out to feed my daughter, try to think of it like a beer tap for babies, only more nutritious. Except, I suppose that's not the best analogy, since they use sex to sell beer too. Damn. Maybe one of those dispensers for the ice milk at Dairy Queen? Only still - more nutritious.

I find it interesting how everyone is so upbeat about the idea that companies are providing rooms for women to go pump at work now. On one hand, having a little privacy is nice - get away from the constant interruptions at a desk so you can get the pumping done. I get that. On the other hand, it strikes me as that they are putting the women away in a little "lactation room" so that they don't have to risk seeing *gasp* a breast! Because that would be disgusting in a work environment, right? Because some people can't make the distinction between lactation and lust.

I am sick of feeling like I need to hide this natural thing that I supposedly would be a failure for not doing! Damnit! Can we get our heads on straight and at least all agree on one damned thing already? Because this whole "it's the best thing for your baby, but make sure you do it where we can't see it happening" thing is just not working...

Okay, /rant off.

Current Mood: bitchy