DragonBlog

Small Stuff...

Some people say "don't sweat the small stuff." The little things that pile up, whether they are chores, frustrations, or inadequacies. After all, just one small thing is generally not enough to really get worked up about...

One pet peeve, perhaps - like people who waltz into the house with snow-covered shoes and leave puddles all over my kitchen floor - no, I'm not naming names, since the "regulars" around here already know not to tug on my frazzled wit's end. They kindly remove their shoes at the door, and roll their eyes at my automatically telling them to do so even though I don't have to anymore. It's just an example...

Or one more thing to do, perhaps - like sitting down and going through the 8+ groups I "belong" to at this point to work out the scheduling for activities each month that I attend, mostly with/for the kids. That example also illustrates the "one more thing to attend" category as well. I've even got another moms' group lined up to possibly join next month...

Or one more thing to remember, perhaps - like the various foods that the people I occasionally cook for cannot eat or don't like for one reason or another. I always like to try and make something that everyone can enjoy...

Or one more thing to fix, perhaps - a spot of paint here, a new tile there, something leaky, something broken, something still not remodelled or repaired. Every time a toy breaks around here, my son knows to bring it to me. Somehow, mommy almost always manages to fix it...

Or one more thing to pay, perhaps - bills piling up in a basket by the door. Some recently paid, but not yet filed, others waiting for the next paycheck. There's always something (like Kayla's new car seat this time) that bumps how important it is to pay something else. While Brian's job now has us officially on the road to recovery, we are still catching up. It gets a little better each month, but still qualifies in the "small stuff" category...

Or one more box to go through - they never seem to cease. All these boxes from my mother and grandmother keep following me around, waiting for me to officially have the "time" to go through them. Boxes in storage. Boxes in the garage. Boxes in the house. There are days I just want to take a torch to those boxes. I would never do it, of course, but one day I will purge a ton of it. Whether through eBay, Freecycle, or just trash - a lot of it needs to go...

Or one more request - I too often say "yes" to things asked of me. No matter how many times I try, I'm still too damned gullible, pliable, useable...

One more pill to take, one more chore to do, one more paper to fill out, web site to visit, book to read, job to perform, note to write, errand to run...

One more "right" way to do something.

One more explanation or justification to give for not doing something the way society deems "right."

One more person to appease other than myself. One more minute I can't stop to play with my children, or watch the snow fall, or just crawl back into my bed and dream.

One more... one more... one more... Some days my head is ready to explode with all the "one more"s in my life. All the "little stuff". Too much "little stuff"...

So, if my "chores" aren't done, my "duties" not complete...

If my makeup isn't on, and my teeth weren't brushed after lunch...

If I didn't work on one of the many piles of stuff on my desk today or cross another thing off my several pages of "small stuff" written down for me to do...

Know that on Monday my son got "windows" cut into the box that he adopted from Kayla's new car seat. Today, he also learned the joy of standing up dominoes in a long row to be knocked down again. My daughter is pointing to things, clearly wanting to know the names of everything, and even trying to mimic the sounds sometimes...

Know that I did watch the snow fall recently. Brian and I sat, leaning on the back of the couch, gazing out the window while it blanketed the neighborhood. We spent that time together, just "wasting" time watching how beautiful and amazing it really is, ignoring the knowledge that we'd have to shovel it later...

Know that yesterday Jareth got to run and play with other kids while I chased a crawling Kayla, as they played at one of those "activities" I schedule in for them...

Because, frankly, if I'm not going to "sweat the small stuff" around here - then I'd damned well better get to do the good stuff too!

So, the next time you want to ask me "why didn't you..." about anything, I may not have an answer for you. I was busy doing something. Whether I was trying to take care of one of the "small" things on my list, or one of the unlisted small things that give me the joy to keep going...

In the big picture - it's all small stuff. And, at the same time, there's nothing small about any of it. Especially the good stuff. It's huge. And I simply refuse to miss it all because one more chore needs to be done.

So there. Nyah.

Oh, and there's some new pics up at the Picasa gallery. Some of the kids, and some of those dominoes I mentioned. Dragon double twelve dominoes, I might add. Dragon. Ooooh. I dubbed my ordered rows of dominoes as the Grand Army of The Dragon, lining up for battle. Then they all fell down. Doh. Not such good troops after all. I guess that's what I get for letting my soldiers fraternize in a box unnoticed for five or ten years before sending them to the front. They couldn't stay standing when faced with the hardened new technology of my Monolta Dimage. Enjoy!

Current Mood: thoughtful

Whoah...

I want to move. Yes. Soon please.

*looks around worriedly*

Why is this? you might ask...

Because, until I'd lived in this neighborhood I'd never seen police officers with guns drawn in real life before!!!

*whimper*

Jareth got a great kick out of watching the three police cars, fire truck, fire car, and ambulance yesterday. There were also another two unmarked cars that I saw police officers get out of. Most of these guys parked in front of MY HOUSE before drawing their weapons and moving down the street to one of the neighbors...

I still don't know WHY they were doing this, but I was NOT amused. Especially since it was garbage day, and I'd noticed a bag of garbage that Brian had missed when he collected it up the night before. That's how I found out which house they were going to.

"Don't mind me officers. I'm just going to pop this bag into the garbage can here on the curb and then ZIP back into my house, grab up my children, and worry-worry-worry until you all pack up and go away! Especially since whatever is going on at my neighbor's house apparently needs THREE officers with their weapons drawn and a few others loitering about for backup..."

*gulp*

The firemen didn't seem to be needed. They left first. Then the policemen left, one by one and finally the ambulance.

Oh yeah. I wanna host a freaking playgroup in MY back yard next month. Suuuuure. 'Cause, you know, it's so SAFE here. People wonder why I'll get in the car and drive to a park for my kids to play when there's one right down the street. That was the park where the SHOOTING happened a couple years back...

I wanna move. *whine* I wanna move to some nice, safe, QUIET little neighborhood where the worst thing that ever happens is somebody's dog poops in your flower garden.

In other news... my arm hurts. From the elbow to the wrist, my right arm is killing me. It's certain movements that hurt the most, although after doing the grocery shopping today it's been throbbing and having that about-to-cramp up in my hand feeling. Typing doesn't seem to hurt, but I can hardly use my mouse. I think the mouse is the culprit anyway. Either my chair isn't the right height for the desk, or something. I tried getting a mousepad with a wrist-rest thingy on it, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm not sure what to do. It just keeps getting worse. I may have to bump my doctor's appointment up and ask him to re-prioritize my ailments... *sigh*

Okay, done ranting for now. Time to go cook dinner. Urg.

Current Mood: cranky

If Only...

If only it really works.

Yesterday, I finally went to see a doctor. It's been a long time coming, as I waited for us to get insurance. Then, the paperwork got screwed up somehow and technically we still don't even have real ID numbers in the system despite the fact that the insurance was supposed to go into effect starting at the beginning of this year. But some nice lady from the company called and gave me an "alternate ID number" with a promise that I could use it and call a specific phone number if I had any questions or problems...

So I ransacked the web site, in search of a doctor and picked one from the lot of barely legible names. At least this guy's first name is pronouncable. And he's board certified and studied medicine locally. I still can't pronouce his last name, but hey... he's a doctor. What do I care, so long as he heals me eh?

I showed up armed with a list. At the bottom was a small spreadsheet of all the vitamins and supplements I take on a regular basis in order to betterfy my complainy body. At the top, a numbered list of 9 different complaints I want to resolve. In the middle was a list of known "conditions" or things to be aware of. I'm breastfeeding, for one. I've had my gallbladder out. You get the idea.

So, now, there's two little vials of my blood floating about in some labs being checked for some of the initial stuff. And two new little prescription bottles in my house. One I'm very familiar with, although the mention that they DON'T KNOW if it's passed on through the breastmilk alarms me, so I'll be taking that in extreme moderation. It's for my Irritable Bowel condition, to help against the raging bouts of debilitating pain and diarreah that I can get. With that drug (brand name is Bentyl) and an Alfalfa supplement, I can make the IBS tolerable. As in maybe one or two of those bouts per week on average. Without either, I used to have two bouts per DAY on average. I'll take the damn pills, thankyouveerymuch! For some odd reason pregnancy temporarily seemed to cure my IBS, but despite my hopes and wishes, it has returned once again.

Also in the works is a referral for an Ear Nose Throat doctor. Considering I've seen two other doctors about the "fluid" behind/in my ears, it's about time I get to move onward. The antibiotics I'd gotten from the other doctors made it seem like it went away for a while, but didn't fix the problem in the end. I've been battling ear pain since before Thanksgiving. Bah. The referral should be ready in a week or so, depending on the insurance. So it could be a couple of weeks. But at least it's being worked on. That's something anyway.

And then there's the other little pill I got. The one to help me sleep at night. That's right, they've given me sleeping pills! Egads. And, as a result, last night was probably the best night's sleep I've gotten in... Well, frankly it's been a long, long while. I have trouble falling asleep. I have trouble staying asleep. I'll toss and turn until I finally crash and then wake up only to have to toss and turn all over again. And then, by the time the alarm is going off in the morning I have FINALLY fallen asleep properly. It's no wonder I've winged a few alarm clocks across the room, frankly. I'm FAR too familiar with the snooze button for my own good.

And, honestly, I've had more energy today. I hope that maybe it's because I actually got a decent night of sleep for once. I hope. I hope, hope, HOPE. Although I loathe the idea that I could end up having to take sleeping pills indefinitely. Let's also hope that this doctor will help me find the solution to WHY I haven't been sleeping well at night too. I've had one too many doctors who are just happy to hand me a prescription and leave it as "fixed". I don't consider a lifelong prescription of sleeping pills to be a cure, frankly. Ugh.

However... I did spend all that energy. Damn snow. I shovelled the whole damn driveway and it's snowed enough since that you can hardly even tell. Pfft. If I didn't know that I saved Brian a TON of time tonight by doing it, I would be upset.

And, somehow, a few hours and a couple of Tylenol later, I still have a little spring in my step. Hmm. Sleep is good. At least I think it must be.

G'night!

Current Mood: energetic

Another one of those catch-up posts...

I've had a few posts coming that I just haven't had the time to come type up lately. I thought about doing one like Brian did, with his "I never" post, but I visited the topic while I read his, and realized that all the first things that came to mind seemed more negative than I really want to dwell on, much less post for all to see. So, meh, nevermind that.

Remodeling/repairing work on the basement is going slowly. It's basically still in "demo" mode, which means that things have been coming down but we're nowhere near ready to put anything back up yet. It SO frustrating. I just want it all done already.

Kayla seems like maybe she's starting to get a little less clingy, although I still reduce her to tears if I so much as try to leave the room to go to the bathroom. She's getting more vocal, able to communicate a little bit better each week, however, so I'm hoping that will boost her confidence. She had a successful babysitting session with her grandma not long ago that she was supposedly good for! I'm hoping we continue in that direction...

The sub-zero cold around here has kinda sucked. I'm not opposed to it getting cold, mind you, as that's when my allergies generally feel at their best. But when it gets cold enough that my car doesn't start.... grrr. The dragon is NOT amused. Brian is having to start my car up every morning to make sure it starts for me later when I need to use it. Again, with the frustrating. Mrrrgh.

Meanwhile, I've been banging my head against my monitor as I wrangle graphics and such into submission for use on my jewelry web site. The new stuff isn't up yet, but I may have something soon! I think I've settled on a logo/title graphic at least, and that's a huge hurdle. Now I just want to get the look and feel I want for the site worked out and then start filling in the content. Including a shopping cart. Which is a whole other battle that I need to research to decide how I want to handle that aspect. Right now I suppose I could have people plunk money into my paypal account, but that's not the feel I want. I also don't want to just be another "yahoo" shop either, despite the advertising advantages that would probably give me. I find it ironic that I'm having to research whole other aspects of web design implementation as I'm slowly phasing out of some of the web stuff. Ah, well. Always good to have a fallback plan, right? lol.

Anyway, so much else I could toss in here, but I don't want to be up all hours of the night tonight, as I've got stuff in the morning to take Jareth to. There practically isn't a single day this month I don't have something written on the calendar of things to do, whether with the kids or in the evenings. Brian has even already made reservations for us to go out to dinner on Valentine's Day! Brownie points for him! Although we'll be taking the kids with, so it won't be quite as potentially romantic as it might be for other couples. But hey - dinner out! I'll take what I can get these days. It's trickier to schedule in "couple" time when you've got two little munchkins about!

Enough for now. Getting sleepy....

G'night!

Current Mood: tired