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Stay Between The Lines…

Today I was sent an article on video games being good for kids, and how research is being done to develop video games that will help children learn, led me over to the Joan Ganz Cooney Center (which I was unsurprised to find was the NPO behind Sesame Street).  Here, I find the extreme opposite to the elements I’ve embraced in Waldorf Education.  Then again, the article was published in an issue of a newsletter sent out by the Nielsen Ipi (you know - the guys that figure out how many people are watching the TV shows?).  So it’s unsurprising that an article on research being done by a group connected to Sesame Street would find it’s way into the Nielsen news.  Especially if it’s encouraging more media for kids and thus more dollars for the industry…

In our own home, we have basically banned television for the kids, and the only TVs in the house are in the little, messy theatre/library in our basement and one in our bedroom that only gets turned on if Brian or I are stuck in bed from illness, and even then we’re more likely to sleep or read a book.  Brian and I only watch TV maybe 2-3 evenings a week lately, after the kids are in bed.  More often we are watching a movie we’ve rented as opposed to TV shows.  Back in the Days Before Children, we were on a first-name basis with the guy at Blockbuster Video and he’d start to worry if one of us hadn’t been to the store in 3 or 4 days.  Movies tend to be the cheaper solution than trying to go and see live theatre on any regular basis, so I fell into the addiction to them early.  While we’ve often toyed with the idea of cutting the cable, we are of the MTV generation and cutting that line is a painful prospect indeed.  However, there are only five or six channels in our “favorites” list, and 3-4 of them are news and weather, so that they can be easy to find when we need them.

In contrast to the lack of accessible television, on the other hand, is my laptop.  It has it’s own little place on a tiny desk in the breakfast area, where I tend to spend a lot more time than I’d ever really like.  While a part of me would love to cut the cord on this one, I find it unlikely I ever would.  This is my social outlet, my entertainment avenue, my dictionary, my encyclopedia, my atlas, my frequent shopping venue, and often my work as well.  I see the benefits my computer has for me, and once I thought my own children would be early into them as well.  However, everything I’ve read and seen, leads me to keeping the children away from the computer now.  As I type this, they are playing happily, uninterested in the text on my screen as they make-believe their way into entertainment.  This is not the right age for them to be on the computer.  That time will come.  Right now they need play, physical movement, and creative outlets.  As I sit here myself, there is a limit to my physical movement - I will be stiff by the time I get up again, actually.  Even my eyes get tired.  I find that I am very glad I took typing class back in high school and that I can look out the window when I’m blogging and let my fingers deal with the typing.

But the Cooney Center would have my kids already sitting here, learning to read so they won’t get left behind the other children.  After reading some of their initiatives and other information, my mind wandered forward to the future they are leading towards.  In my mind’s eye… in school, each child would be issued something along the lines of a Kindle, instead of textbooks (after all, all those kids with bad backs shouldn’t be carrying heavy textbooks anyway) where their textbooks would be uploaded at the beginning of each year, with the recommended additional reading and learning “aids” for children who have disabilities.  Which would be ALL of them, since none of them will have had the advantages of playing outside - why bother when there are learning computer games to keep them occupied.  Future Mom wouldn’t want the hassle of them getting dirty.  And there are bugs outside!  With germs!  And Future Mom is far too busy cleaning house with natural, non-toxic, antibacterial, biodegradable wipes to keep an eye on them if they were in the yard… (oops, there’s my cynical side again)  Future teacher is really just a steward with a teaching/IT degree, there to make sure the kids don’t have trouble interacting with the workstations in the classroom.  Future Mom has already prepared their kids for school with all the best learning games and videos (Future Mom works too, so she can afford all this), so Future Child arrives to the Kindergarten classroom already knowing how to read, write, do basic math, and has excellent hand-eye coordination.  Future Child has velcro shoes (laces are too tricky for poor little Jimmy), and tires easily if asked to do anything that isn’t on the Wiv Fit (Future Wii Fit).  If you have watched the newest Star Trek movie - think of the scene with young Spock in school.  It’s perfect - children in cubbies, learning from screens - better to keep them away from the other children so they won’t do anything foolish, like THINK anything that isn’t on the curriculum.  Or, God forbid, using their imagination.  Are you watching these TV shows, these computer games?  They even lead children through “pretend play” wherein they TELL the children WHAT TO PRETEND!  They’re creating a generation that will need to be led by the hand through everything that isn’t inside the proverbial box.

But ”Getting a nod for helping children learn about nutrition, healthy habits, and exercise are Sesame Street’s “Color Me Hungry,” featuring Cookie Monster, and “Dance Dance Revolution,” a mass-market game used in hundreds of schools nationwide,” says the article.  That little sentence seems to support my cynical comment above.  Instead of watching my daughter stomping around the family room declaring “I am a PRINCE!” as she winds through the maze they’ve made of the furniture in a princess dress and a baseball cap right now, they would have her sitting in front of a computer letting the Cookie Monster teach her so she will “excel”.  My son is a skinny little guy and not the strongest stick in the pile, but instead of having him grow stronger and learn self-confidence by climbing trees and jumping rope, they would have him learn to do the same dance moves over and over and over, until they get a high score (teaching a child to be competitive from a young age as well).  I am reminded of a car commercial I once saw (yes, I see the irony of using a media reference here, but I never said the upbringing I had was perfect) where a man was telling a child who was coloring to ”stay between the lines”.  This was followed by an adult (supposedly the child as a grown-up) driving down the road, between the yellow lines, and then veering to take the car offroad.  That’s me - I want to take the car offroad.  My media-bogged life, however, tends to keep me quietly here… within the lines.  My kids, one the other hand, are busy learning that “rules” and “boundaries” don’t mean “limits”.  Their imaginations will take them where they cannot yet go, so they can prepare themselves for the time that they can…

I’ve talked about my views on kids watching TV before.  I’ve also seen the effect both TV and the computer will have on my kids.  When my son was two, we gave him a computer.  We didn’t fully know all the ins and outs of Waldorf yet (we were only just entertaining the idea of that curriculum for if we homeschooled) and didn’t really know.  I thought it was brilliant - he loved watching MY computer so much - and I wanted (like all good moms) to give him an early introduction!  I put together an old PC and downloaded several free matching games, learning games, etc…

He loved it.  ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS PLAY THAT COMPUTER.  At two years old.  It wasn’t long before my husband and I were having concerned conversations about our slack-jawed little boy with the glazed over eyes as he matched owl with owl or helped the “dog find it’s bone”.  He whined and pleaded if we turned it off.  Only a month or so in, and we started limiting his exposure to it.  Finally, when our family room in the old house flooded from a burst pipe, we disassembled it and packed it up, never to be seen again.  He was still asking for it when we moved into this house.  When I got this laptop, he even went so far as to ask if I would give him my old one.  But his eyes are bright again, his imagination vivid, and his jaw flapping away with all the stories and wonders of the world he has to share.  So my answer was a firm “no.”  While I know my kid could easily learn to be a wiz at computers, I remember something that I heard a Waldorf speaker say, not long ago, suggesting that the computer I’m on right now will be obsolete when my children are ready to learn computers.  Why would I want to bog them down with today’s technology and then expect them to continue to relearn it over and over as it advances?  Better to wait, and let them HAVE their childhood, bright eyes, and imaginations.

The paragraph describing the report on the site says “Children as young as four are immersed in a new gaming culture, but many parents, educators and health professionals, concerned over violence, sexual content, and reports of addiction, do not consider games to be a positive force in children’s lives. Game Changer addressed this critique, offering a new framework to use games to help children learn healthy behaviors, traditional skills like reading and math, and 21st-century strengths such as critical thinking, global learning, and programming design. It specifies how increased national investment in research-based digital games might play a cost-effective and transformative role and provides comprehensive actions steps for media industry, government, philanthropy, and academia to harness the appeal of digital games to improve children’s health and learning.”  Nowhere do they seem concerned about children not having a chance to excercise creativity.  I’m less concerned about my kids seeing violence or sexual content, to be honest.  THAT I can sit down and explain to them.  I’m MORE concerned about these “avatars” on the screen giving my children a false idea about what life is supposed to be like and about them dumbing down to my kids at the same time as they are supposed to be “teaching” them to excel.  “Stay between the lines…” the commercial reminds me.  Because the computer games will be designed to appeal to the majority.  The average.  And children will be expected to fall into line, tripping over their untied shoelaces as they go.  Good little program designers.  Now sit.  Stand.  Dance

The report itself, I couldn’t read.  I did read the executive summary, and the side boxes of information, but the text of the report seemed to have an error in translationg to Adobe.  Ironic, since they seem to want all children to learn computer programming as part of the curriculum, that they can’t seem to make the report universally available themselves.  They mention several “fitness programs” like the Wii Fit and Dance Dance Revolution and I have to assume that they are proposing that these are good solutions to the problems they mention in another box - obesity, diabetes, and asthma.  I found the stuff on health e-games in the side box highly entertaining.  It’s as if they propose to tell a man all about fishing and then send him to the store to buy some, assuming that if he ever needs to fish he’ll somehow know how without ever having done the act. In fact, they seem very focused on critical-thinking and problem-solving skills - skills my kids will pick up with their Waldorf Education, while computerless.  However, my kids will learn how to sew, cook, farm, and build.  Things the computer-taught kids will likely only watch and learn about, instead of DO.  So while they will know how a box should be built, mine will be busy building a better box.  Probably with more doors and windows.

Okay, enough rant.  I have better things to do today.  AWAY from my computer…

I Think His Day WAS Worse…

2nd day of summer vacation.  The first was a “jammies day”, which the kids seemed resistant to.  At one point I caught Kayla stripping off her shirt because she heard me open a drawer upstairs.  “I thought you got me out clothes!” she protested, when I told her to put her pajama top back on.  “When are you going to get me out clothes?”

Today started with a play date / work.  A friend of mine came over so we could both chat AND get some productive stuff done for her web site, where I’m going to be also selling some of my jewelry.  However, her son was not having the best morning ever and it ended in a total meltdown.  I had started the day with a headache, which didn’t help my coping skills.  The kids were still high on energy after the play date was over, and going stir crazy in the house.  As they got louder, I got crankier.  Somewhere along the line I even found myself craving a cigarette.  Fortunately, I don’t exactly have any in the house, having quit some seven or so years ago.

Decided it was time to take my kids and get out of the house for a while.  Got some errands done while I was at it, but it meant going out to Ikea.  *shudder*  The place may have some decent stuff at decent prices and all, but going in that store is committing to at least an hour of shopping time.  I technically found the four items I purchased within the first ten minutes, but it was the time confirming that those were the best solutions that killed the day.  And then there was the horrendous traffic, followed by a brief jaunt into the hardware store.  I’m finally going to put knobs on the headboard and closets.  I bought the knobs several months ago, at ReStore, but didn’t have the right sized screws.  I want all these little jobs out of the way this summer…

Aggrevating as all that was, it was good to get home and have my husband on the phone.  Good to know he was driving home to me and that the evening was about to help fix the overall balance of the day.

Then he yelped, in that startled, and concerned kind of way.  I had to wait a moment before he confirmed that he was okay.  The earpiece he’d been talking to me on was no longer in his ear and he’d had to retrieve it.  He was fine, but some ASSHOLE had rear-ended him while he’d been stopped, pushing him into car in front of him…

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He got off the phone and called me back a few minutes later.  Not only was his the only car that showed damage, but the people involved drove away.  No insurance exchange, no license plate number, no police.  We’ll still be out of pocket on the deductible, but at least we have decent insurance.  And I’m going to be a lot MORE stir crazy this week, while he has to borrow MY car to get the work.

I guess he wins the “worst day” contest.  But, damnit, I wasn’t going for competition.

Arrrgh.

No Matter What Life Brings…

That’s usually the title.  At least, it has been for the last two years.  I don’t always get this post out on time though - sometimes there’s stuff going on.  But every year, on May 24th, is the anniversary of Brian and my marriage.  Back in 2004, I posted our rhyming vows here.

As I posted on Twitter/Facebook this morning, we’ve been married 12 years, and we are still best friends and lovers after all this time.  While the honeymoon has been over since we stopped getting any more sleep six years ago for a while now, and we have the occasional spats about money or time management like most couples do, I still get weak in the knees when I think of his hands and the way they feel when we have a quiet moment for them to wander.  We still find ourselves giggling like teenagers when we duck around a corner for a mini-makeout session when the kids are preoccupied, and we still find so many, many things to talk about.

I won’t go on and on, all gushy.  Mostly because he’s home today, and I would rather be spending time with him and the kids than typing away at my computer.  But to my darling husband:

there’s nothing in the world
more important to me than you (and our kids!)
I love you
I do

And Now He is Six…

I’ve been meaning to post this for some time, and I’m afraid it will end up being shorter than I would normally write up.  You see I HAVE been blogging daily folks.  It’s just that it’s not always my words and it’s not always here.  It’s over here instead.  Don’t look too hard at the design.  While it’s nice enough, it’s not mine - all I did so far was drop the school’s logo in at the top.  I’ve been working more on functionality and content on that blog.  I’ll get to the design when I can, once I’ve got the design on this site and this other one well in hand.  The more I try to get out of web design, the more stuff comes up where my skills are handy and applicable.  LOL.  It figures.

So May 6th came and went seemingly unremarked if you watch the blog.  But it was a flurry of excitement here at the house!  The school commemorates birthdays during snacktime and we parents are even loaned a star-shaped cake pan to make a cake for the class in.  I took care of that and then Brian, Kayla, and I were all in attendance at snacktime and ceremony that they do.  It was delightful and I had a wonderful time watching my son being so proud and bold that day.  He is normally the introvert - a word that has come up more than once already in his Kindergarten reviews.  He only gets bold now and again when it would be better defined as “stubborn” instead, and half of that tends to be the medication for his allergies.  While I know other children who have much more difficult conditions to contend with, I still get so frustrated to see my bright little boy bogged down with medication that doesn’t seem to be doing enough for him sometimes for it to be worth the side effects.  But he IS a bright little boy.  It’s just that he’d rather be doing a jigsaw puzzle or playing one-on-one with a friend than be running with the pack.  He likes to watch the pack, but participation often has to be on his terms or not at all.  I can already tell he won’t be much for the team sports, but might do well one day as part of a musical grouping.  One of the gifts we’ve given him for his birthday was a harmonica - an inexpensive little bit of metal and plastic, but fully functional and already one of the things he’s played with the most.  He is also thrilled with paper and pencils - he got two tiny composition books and a pencil from us that he pretends to “write” in almost daily.  Clearly a blogger-to-be.  He’s also thrilled to have received more crayons and colored pencils and is drawing almost daily too.

At six years old, he is every bit my little boy - always watching and ready to create something out of  whatever he finds.  He’s starting to climb trees now and his boundaries within the yard are starting to expand to include the neighbors’ yards we share boundaries with as we get to know the people around us better.  He always wants his sister along when she’s there, despite the continuous squabbles and whines that are typical of siblings at their ages.  He is caring, generally considerate, and I constantly get comments from people about how charming my little guy is.  I am so blessed and amazed by this beautiful little boy my husband and I have helped bring forth into the world.  He is every bit his father’s little boy too - looking to the skies to be amazed at the airplanes.  I can already imagine that in just a couple of years I’ll find them bent over a telescope together, watching the night sky, their dreamy blue eyes filled with excitement as they share their discoveries.

The rest of his birthday was kept simple and fun, and ended with presents from us and more cake that he helped Brian bake for him and the kids added sprinkles to the decorations.  The next day, when offered some of the cake, Jareth confided quietly to me that he thought he’d “added too many sprinkles” and now he didn’t like it.  No worries though - there was more cake coming Saturday when we had his birthday party.  He had a very special party at school this year, with cake, storytelling, and a cowboy theme complete with pony rides!  I will have to get some pictures online soon, but have more pictures to go through from the last few weeks than I’ve had in some time.  Once I’ve got some up though, I promise to link them.  However, the birthday boy did NOT ride the pony.  He was all psyched up for it, but then backed down at the last moment.  He does love animals, so his intimidation puzzles me and I am hoping he isn’t getting it from me.  I have always been nervous around animals but have been sucking it up around big dogs and other animals ever since my kids were born, in the hopes they won’t get my anxieties.  Mine stem from a vicious, hellhound beast of a dog that lived at one of the neighbors’ when I was growing up.  He chased me to my porch at least twice that I remember, and there was one instance where my mom intervened and swore he’d been about to bite me.  None of this has happened to Jareth, however, who had a kitten in the house at 18 months and the two were instantly gentle with one another, despite my concerns about grabby little hands and sharp kitten claws.  But, then he doesn’t have an issue with cats.  Just large animals.

Man, this post is rambling about today.  I don’t have much more time to write in either.  Sooo… the party was awesome, the other kids all rode the pony (including Kayla, who couldn’t get enough!) and Jareth was thrilled just to play and run with his friends and enjoy the rest of it.  I got cowboy hats for all the kids to wear and take home with their goody bags and it was great.  The only frustration I had with any of it was having to limit the party size.  It meant that I couldn’t invite all the kids currently in Jareth’s class, which was heart-wrenching.  It was also difficult to get Jareth to help me narrow it down and I had to do half of it purely by age.  If he’d had his way - all the kids would have been there AND the friends from outside the school AND everyone’s siblings too!  And then his teacher and I would have probably had heart attacks and shared a room at the nearest hospital… So I think it all worked out well enough in the end.  Next year the class size will be smaller and it will be easier to manage.  Except next year Kayla will be moving into the classroom Jareth is in now… do you hear the ominous music cueing up yet?  I sure do.  LOL.

Since we all hadn’t had enough cake to stuff us silly yet, I bought one to take with on Mother’s Day at my Mother-in-Law’s home where we celebrated Mother’s Day and Jareth’s “family birthday”.  More cake and gifts later and the last bits of birthday were complete.

Six years old and four flavors of celebration?  Yeah, this kid has seriously got us all wrapped around his little fingers!  But I wouldn’t have it any other way!!  Happy Birthday my little guy!

PS - forgive the typos, horrific grammar, spelling faux-pas (which I probably got wrong too), etc.  I have to go pick up Jareth at school shortly, and there’s likely a poopy pull-up to rectify first, so editing these posts have become a thing of the past.

PSS - Yes, I did use the word “rectify” on purpose.  Totally.  *smirk*

NOT a Silk Nightgown…

As an unusually large (due to Facebook) number of people seem to know this year, April 12th was my birthday.  While I find it terribly frustrating on years when my birthday gets lumped together with Easter, this year we gathered at my house so Easter was lingering quietly in the background while we devoured chocolate cake and I ripped into some presents.  Except there was no present from my beloved husband…

I was bummed, but I knew it was going to be that way.  He went shopping.  Twice.  And the item he was looking for was not currently in stock anywhere just now.  It is, aparently, NOT the season to find 100% silk nightgowns.  Since it hadn’t been long that I had commented that I’d never had a 100% silk anything in my wardrobe, he decided that it was a possible gift idea for my birthday.  But the shopping gods were against him and he ended up not being able to find one at a store.  So it was going to be late, and he’d have to order it online, so… he told me what it was so that I could have a say in which one I’d like to have.

While I will admit that I spent the better half of an afternoon Googling web sites to find the approrpiate nightgown… the price tag on them was atrocious.  I just couldn’t see spending that much money on something that (if I picked the style of nighty HE wanted me to have) I wouldn’t wear very often at all.  Not something I’d casually roam the house in.  Not something I’d generally choose to wear while the kids were awake.  Potentially a total waste of money.  I’m a flannel and cotton girl.  Give me thick cotton sock, comfy sweats and a soft, flannel shirt that I can move around in, and I’m okay.  So I started thinking that maybe the money would be better spent on something else I had on my list…

Okay, I will admit, there was also the part of me that was thinking that a silk nightgown might make a better Valentine’s Day gift than a birthday gift.  I mean, who would this little number benefit more - him or me?  But I’m just sayin’…  I was looking at 100% silk loungewear (you know - with PANTS and SLEEVES) until he came home and pointed out the *cough* cute little number HE wanted me to have.  It’s not like it was some little french maid outfit or anything, but still…

So I told him that we’d wait and see what I got from other people and that if I didn’t get the raincoat (which was unlikely anyway) from anyone, that I’d get a raincoat and boots.  I’ve been tromping around in sneakers and a jacket most rainy days and frankly I’ve been getting soaked.  So I’ve been watching for a decent sale, or whatever,  but I hadn’t found one yet.  I do want a raincoat.  And proper rainboots.  And, eventually, I will have them.

But not yet.

Because last Saturday, we went to a drum circle with friends, and I was reminded what I wanted MOST of all on the list of “fun, frivolous things that Amy doesn’t need, but would really, really, really, oh-can-I-have-it-please-oh-please, like to have…

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Yeah, baby.  That’s MINE.  Sweeeet!  Brian TOTALLY let me pick out a good one!

And, yeah, it cost MORE than a 100% silk nightgown.  More, even than a decent raincoat and boots combo pack.  I agreed that this drum is not only my birthday gift, but due to budget it covers Mother’s Day too.  Because I wanted it THAT BADLY.

I totally drummed for a good half and hour on it after we got home with it.  And I drummed again this morning, when I took it out for this photograph.  Kayla drummed with me.

The neighbors probably think we’re nuts.

Meh.  Let ‘em.  Just wait until we start having drum circles at our house…